I just talked to my beloved friend Uschi about something that is tearing at my heart. School starts next week and both my daughter and I are feeling fear and dread at the thought. I am completely changing my perspective on education, on how to best educate my daughter, on what is valuable. I am frightened because I don't feel in agreement with much of the education system. My daughter is in a Waldorf based school. We moved to this area to have her go there. And still it is so challenging and painful for her due to her learning differences. I have spoken to so many adults about the learning differences and how it affected their core self image, making them believe they were somehow stupid, inferior, defective etc. As I become more aware of this dynamic I experience deep, deep grief. I can not understand how we continue to push and shove our children to comply with the school system, often destroying our relationship with our children by forcing them to do what is expected, without compassion of understanding of why they are not complying, of what is going on for them. It is starting to feel like lemmings running mindlessly into the sea. I was given a parenting course by a respected teacher and it say categorically- force your child to do what is required, use punishment through the withholding of desired objects, experiences, freedom to make them comply and do not care or respond to how they feel about this!! This is becoming shocking to me. My daughter is at an excellent school yet there does not seem to be a deeper understanding of how to meet the needs of children who learn differently. More and more children are being born with a predominance of right brain activity yet all the education systems teach mostly to the left side of the brain. This left brain behavior has gotten us into a world of trouble as it favors dominance and force, power over. The beautiful gifts of children with a different orientation are either ignored or minimized. Their gifts begin to atrophy with neglect. I sometimes feel like David coming up agains Goliath, how can I make a difference? How can I make a change? I have no answers, only questions and an unwillingness not to care about how my daughter feels. I care passionate. I can not "fight" the system, I recognize how dedicated and caring her teachers are. Yet my sense is they are simply unaware. I fought with my daughter for years, trying to force her to comply with school demands. I did so without true compassion or understanding, often with anger. No more. I do not agree. I am shocked at my own obliviousness and lack of compassion. Now that I see her pain more clearly, I want to stand up and be part of a solution to this dilemma. I want to have my voice be heard. I intend to join with all of you parents, students and teachers being adversely affected by a system that marginalize and shames children for which part of their brain is dominate, that has not gone to the trouble to fully understand their visual learning style and implement it in a mainstream way. I have no answers. I feel afraid and unclear. I don't want to be against anything, I am simply for the dignity, worth, magnificence of every child. I am asking if your are willing to join me energetically in holding for all children as schools around the world begin the school year. Interestingly enough while I was writing this a school friend of Ciela's called me and I asked her to join me in this prayer/intention and she agreed. Thanks Lucia! I had been waiting to get more clarity before writing about this but my friend Uschi sounded the clarion call and I have decided to move forward without clarity, with only love and deep compassion in my heart. Will you join me in calling forward an unexpected solution to this imbalance, this source of pain and grief, of lost self worth? If so, I extend my deepest gratitude.
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