Saturday, June 30, 2012

worst nightmare

So much is up for me I can't really settle to write yet will give it a try. This week was a wild week. I went on vacation and I notice my ego tends to go into overdrive on vacation, wanting what it wants. Well, nothing went as planned. Most of the things I looked forward to didn't happen. I felt rage and out of control, wanting things to be the way I want them to be so I could enjoy myself. I have been asking myself where joy comes from and I am sure getting clear on where it does NOT come from- getting what my ego wants does not bring me lasting joy. In fact, putting my foot down and sort of demanding certain conditions so doesn't work. Plus my buying addiction is trying to convince me to buy all these pretty babbles to assuage my discomfort and boy is it convincing, swearing to me that if I buy this or that, all will be well. So far I have not succumbed but it has not been easy, the enticement is soooo convincing.  The only thing that actually relives the pain sincerely, is when I move past my demands and guilt into a sinless sense of unity I can not really describe clearly in this moment and then, ah, such a few moments of bliss. So back and forth, sucker punch/bliss/sucker punch.... Below is the ascension symptom (from my post on May3, 2012) that gets me the worst, has me strangling and ready to hit the first spaceship out of here:

* You have created a situation that seems like your worst nightmare, with many “worst nightmare” aspects to it. Your soul is guiding you into “stretching” into aspects of yourself where you were lacking, or into “toning down” aspects where you had an overabundance. Your energy is just balancing itself. Finding your way to peace through this situation is the test you have set up for yourself.
Yup, makes me see red. Everything was driving me nuts. If I could let my ego demands go, I could drop into the most loving, connected space. Yet again and again, this rage arose, leaving me sputtering. So for now, I am lost in the fog of my own worst nightmare- o.k.,not the worst, already lived through and survived a much worse nightmare, but definitely not pretty. 

I am finding it a bit of a challenge to keep the faith, to trust but that will have to wait to write about when my head clears a bit. For now, I must allow and hope, hang on to that tiny thread of faith that keeps my head above water. This up/down yoyo is rather unsettling to say the least. Hope all of you are in better shape than me. Kisses.

Monday, June 25, 2012

pictures and my friend's post from our Solstice ritual

In case any of you are curious about the solstice ritual I attended, here is my friend Kathleen's post about it with some pictures. Enjoy.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Joy and the 5th Dimension- time is collapsing- are you ready?


Again yesterday I experienced the most exquisite joy. Everyone and everything delighted me. I felt so much mySelf, at Home. I was in love with the people in the car ahead of me, wanted to follow them into infiinitty. Of course, that is not exactly what it was like yet a playful way of attempting to touch the joy of that frequency. The inner vibration is so magnetic I am beginning to recognize it can be misunderstood. I realized it as I had a small parade of men following me with stars in their eyes. It is kind of fun yet I am becoming aware I better use discernment here so as not to create false impressions. I am understanding how releasing all the goo is now funneling me into joy.

At the same time, any limiting beliefs will not create fun or joy, rather the opposite. Therefore I am being directed to share with you the critical importance of your thoughts and beliefs as time begins to collapse in on itself. In other words, the time between a thought/belief and its results showing up in your life is shortening and eventually will be non existant. Think about love and joy and voila, it will appear. Yet think about anger and hate and that too will pop into your reality. So there is no delay between you attacking someone in your thoughts and then immediately getting slapped in your own face. So this is a word to the wise- clean up all that no longer serves you, my dears. I highly recommend the article below which will explain it WAY better than I can. (p.s.- I might have posted this before yet even if so, please give it another look).  This can be very exciting and exhilarating if you are prepared. See what you think.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Why release special relationships?- recognizing they REALLY don't work to heal our ultimate sense of separation

Special relationships are the ego’s most cherished prize according to the teachings of The Course in Miracles and The Way of Mastery. I spent most of my life healing from this error, learning why they don’t create the desired complete heart/soul connection, answer our most exquisite yearning for unity or heal our ultimate sense of separation- in fact they increase it after the initial euphoria wears off. In the early stage, they recreate the feeling tone of unity, of home so it is no wonder we are so completely taken in by them.  A special relationship is where one views anyone or anything outside of oneself as the source of wholeness, well being or happiness. I understood the concept intellectually for years yet it was only when I saw myself acting like a puppet in increasing agony as my marriage crumbled that I finally had the genuine motivation and awareness to release that addiction. Still I got caught again a few months later in a twisted friendship that hopefully cleared the last residue of the attraction of seeing another as my Source. Now it took decades and years of attention to heal this particular pattern within. As always my primary tool is Presence and the main way I have moved into Presence is with a few tools- The Course in Miracles and The Way of Mastery are teachings I have used I have to say almost religiously. My Master’s from University of Santa Monica, and Cellular Memory Release along with the teachings of Eckhart Tolle were my other primary supports on this journey.
I know several people who are using special relationships as their source right now and witnessing their pain and agony has spurred me to review this topic. Our culture trains and conditions us to believe in romantic love as the perfect antidote to all of life’s problems and the answer to all of life’s pain. Because the holy relationship is the closet we can come to heaven on earth ( according to The Course in Miracles and my own experience) it is very easy to get confused. In holy relationship, one recognizes one’s own wholeness and holiness and joins with another to extend love and man oh man is that yummy. The feeling of being home, of arriving back in the feeling tone of joy, completion, unlimitedness, homecoming is truly indescribable yet delicious beyond words. So no wonder we fall again and again into the illusion of seeking our answers in another. Witnessing the excruciating sense of separation that arises when either things don’t work out or one is separated from that loved one for whatever reason was the catalyst for this post. I recognized how profoundly sad I felt observing a loved one’s pain as he is experiencing this sense of separation. I wondered why it triggered such grief in me. I realized it is for two reasons. First, it is very sad for me to see someone I care about so ardently suffer so extremely. Second, I recognized in a way I had been aware of yet never fully grasped how the special relationship causes people to put most of their attention and energy on that relationship to the exclusion of all others. One of my dearest friends told me how much she appreciated me and desired friendship with me years ago yet sensed (accurately) that I was not really open to a deeper friendship while I was focused on my special relationships with my daughter and husband. I have an acquaintance who is ending her relationship with her boyfriend, not by choice. She had begged me to visit her and I did so. Her soon to be former partner asked her a question and she literally ignored me the whole time I was there, other than to offer me some food. She actually said at one point she could not concentrate while her soon to be ex partner and I spoke together so she left the room! It didn’t bother me other than to be in awe of the power of the emphasis on that relationship even as it is crumbling away. In another circumstance I have realized someone I care about is so intent on a special relationship that he is rarely actual present in the rest of his life. I realized this was the source of my unfathomable grief that day- recognizing how much of my life I missed because of my intense focus exclusively on those few relationships I prayed would “save” me. I also allowed myself to grieve the missed connection with those around me who do not see me because their attention is exclusively trained on their special relationships. I grieved as I recognized so clearly the overwhelming sense of loss. So much of life can pass us by while we are looking somewhere else. I know I can not clearly convey this with words yet I hope you can get a taste of what I am suggesting. In the case of this loved one, I would see his restlessness, his eyes glaze over, his eyes glance past me, not really seeing me or taking me in. What a mirror! I was forced to grieve the millions of times I had done the same and to vow to let it be a lesson I need not repeat.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

good news- we are doing great!

Good news- we are doing great and we are awesome! :thumbs: Heard uplifting audio- almost 2 hours - with Jim Self and all the archangels and masters are pleased as punch at how well were are doing. :dance:

No time?

This is one of the best articles I have seen to explain what is happening to time, how it is "compressing" and how the effects of our behavior, thoughts and emotions are manifesting so quickly, positive or negative. It is by a new friend, Jay. The link to his blog is at the bottom. I had fire alarms (no fire) blasting me through the night so too tired to articulate anything further. Enjoy the article.

From slow time to no-time

Last Friday night the image1 above came to me in an in-spirit-ational flash (“thank you”, with a culturally induced nod up to the sky).  I could hear the clickety-click in my head; a whole lot of stuff comes together in this picture for me, either as “oh, I get it” or “but what about..?”. Nothing more lunar …uuuhh… human than a moment of clarity giving rise to more questions. That’s how we learn and grow. So bear with me as I walk you through it. And please add a “right?” (with voice going up) at the end of each sentence – if you read anything in here as stated with obvious conviction, you’re not reading it correctly (of this I’m pretty sure).
Even though we tend to  think of time as linear (past-present-future), we all experience its malleable nature:the days are long, but the years are short.  And even when we hear about relativity or “there is only now”, it’s still not something we really get get, including yours truly. Earlier this year I came across the work of Mr. Calleman, who concludes that the Mayan calendar ends on October 28th 2011. Most interesting is the whole concept of the acceleration of time.  Evolutionary steps are completed faster and faster. No wonder our current phase is referred to as The Quickening. We’re running out of time.
Now let’s jump to the visual above, and see how this stuff all ties together(RIGHT?). The letter A stands for ‘action/intention/initiation’, and the letter B for ‘reaction/manifestation/completion’. We could say thattime, depicted as the dotted line, is the bridge to getfrom A to B. When the bridge is really long, as in the left, it’s hard to connect the dots between action and reaction. You kicked someone in 346 A.D. and you get sucker punched in 2011: “why me, why me?” Hello karma and hello cosmic amnesia. I simply forgot.
So with time accelerating, or the bridge (dotted line) getting shorter, things manifest quicker and quicker. So big societal changes that took first 100 years (industrial revolution) to take hold, then 10 years (internet), are now down to mere months and weeks. So perceived time is a  frequency  that is constantly being turned up a notch, or as a sound analogy: we’re hearing an ever increasing pitch. Or for the visually inclined: brighter light. Or for the touchy-feely people:  more L-O-V-E.
So as we’re closing in on the right-hand part of the picture, where things happen in no-time, time will collapse in on itself. And we’ll be living in the dreamy void of Eternal Now. Imagine that (pretty hard I can tell you).
Now,  what are the implications of no-time. Can you saykarmic game changer: if you kick someone, you’ll instantly kick yourself. It’s divine tough love, a crash course Law of Attraction, and I’m pretty sure you’ll catch on quickly (if not instantly). No more kicking. Wonderful. And think about all the inspired heartfelt  ideas, dreams and talents taking root and bearing fruit in the blink of an eye. Hello Unity Consciousness, bye-bye duality. Now we do the happy dance.
Big question: what happens to residue karma. Because I’m currently not entirely sure that we’ve satisfyingly dealt with that little detail, are you?  So are we gonna be buried in B’s - all the consequences of past action – , raining down on us (vertical line on the right) to be cleaned up first? Or a graceful act of cosmic clemency to wipe our slates clean?  See, more questions – I told you so.
So if (as mind-boggling as it seems) this is what’s going on, then when and how will it manifest itself?  I mean this is one big freaking quantum leap in consciousness, we only will be getting after (yes, linear time reference) the fact. But then we probably don’t care anymore.
Well, we may all be living in 2011, but that doesn’t mean we’re all living in the same “time”.  Each soul is at her own stage in this whole epic journey, individually. But what if there’s a collective timeline that overrides the individual’s?  What if this chunk of consciousness a.k.a. Mother Earth we live on wants to get more comfy and is reaching her end of the line, ready to move to greener pastures? Whether we’re all “ready” or not.  If the time pressure is put on everyone as a collective, irrespective of your soul level and frequency, this could very well mean a splitting of realities. We all may perceive the world and our lives in very distinct ways, either from love or fear –  your choice  – duality to the max.
As many still are living out their inner turmoil in the outer world, amplified by an unknown pressure building, with old structures crumbling (as is inside so is outside), they may feel dis-heartened, debilitated. “Where will this end?” Others may stand in calmness, as a peaceful, compassionate observer knowing that that outer manifestation has nothing to do with their inner core anymore.  It all depends on your vantage point. My take on this? I’d say it’s the  Beginning of the END – It’s theEternal Now Dawning.
1)  “4,000 years” and “200 years” are chosen for illustrative purposes. Not to scale.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Happy Solstice- time for JOY

Happy solstice! Summer begins in a few hours and this solstice is said to bring us some intense yet luscious energy. I am chewing on so much I can't yet articulate it except for one thing. I (and perhaps many of us) have been missing one critical piece of the puzzle- JOY! After years of slogging through the mud of transformation it is no wonder that we have forgotten or perhaps never remembered how to live in joy. I believe this is our mission, should each of us decide to accept it. How to live joyously, regardless of outside circumstance- that is the question. A tall order I know yet I sense we are ready for it. I am attending a solstice ritual tonight and I will include all of you in my prayers. I have a request- will you join me in using the strong energies of the new moon (Tuesday in California) and the solstice to set your intention to live joyfully. I know that if we band together in our energies, there is no limit to what we can create. Here is a toast to joy! :drinks:

here's a clip from a post to support this view;

A Year Delight, ‘De-Light’, Joy and Peace
Archangel Uriel said that 2012 would be a year of ‘de-light’, meaning that it would be the year of the light and for us to find delight in our lives, ourselves, in what we do, where we live, who we live with and in ourselves. Our focus this year has to be on creating joy, on being self-ish and rejecting what does not serve us and our path. We have been warriors and martyrs for the earth, humanity and the Universe for so long, it’s time for us to put down our swords and let the new generations of those who need to find their truth and passion to take over.

Our mission in the new earth is to teach others how to live in and on purpose, to be joyful, to release karma and to understand transformation so they can achieve the levels of vibration needed to access the new earth, which is to be in heaven on earth. This is our role as teachers and healers in the new earth and to teach that, we have to know and experience it. Yes we can still fight but we’ve already done that. There is no place in new earth’s vibration for anything less than joy, peace and abundance and when we are willing to allow those energies into our lives we will experience the heaven on earth that is our final Home coming.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

reconnecting to the galactic center- the lines home are now open

6/17/12 I just came across this post that I apparently forgot to actually publish almost exactly a year ago. SO here it is and there must be a reason it is is showing up for you today. Let me know if you figure out why. hugs.

I am experiencing the most exquisite gratitude, bringing me to tears. The first wave of gratitude: I gave my wasband two stuffed animals that were symbols of the two of us that he always carried with him for decades yet left behind when he moved out- today he took them back. I felt such a searing pain of loss rip through me when I said goodbye to these little sweet stuffed animals followed by waves of love and thanks. Then I saw a lovely movie today- something Marigold hotel- really enjoyed it and the flood of memories of our time in India. Then the feeling of connection and love with my daughter is flooding my body with tidal waves of bubbles, dancing joy. I feel so grateful to Gaia, so much love. I sit and hear the birds call to each other and to me, I feel the slightest breeze caress my thighs with a hint of coolness after record breaking heat. My bunny and cat just danced with each other. I feel something huge has shifted in me. I can't stop crying with joy, especially since reading the post below, thank you Jay. I feel like something ancient and barely remembered has come back, the connection to Home, my natural way of being and feeling, a return to my Tribe and it is not a specific people rather an inner feeling tone. This post below explains my inner feeling. Reading it strikes such a cord in me. I feel as though I have come through the fire of transformation and even if I am dipped in again, this time I will not forget. I KNOW now I will make it, I will and am at home here, I will and am experiencing joy after so much darkness. It feels like a giant homecoming. Yes, to think the connection has been reestablished, feels exactly right. Beloveds, let me know if you want me to convey any message- I was able to get through on the line to Sophia. 
Priceless Clear Heart ***** Limitless Power Dancing Unity
Saturday, June 16 - Sunday, June 17, 2012
Balsamic Moon Phase
This is probably the most important report I will ever write.
For many, many years, much has been written about the December 21, 2012, alignment of our Sun and the center of our Galaxy.  But what most people don't know is that the real Galactic Alignment - the one that matters most - occurs just a few minutes before midnight EDT on Saturday, June 16, 2012.  This is when the Earth will make the Galactic Alignment.
The focus on the Sun's Galactic Alignment has been a trick of darker forces that are in opposition to humanity and the Earth herself (other-dimensional entities the Gnostics called "Archons").  The Sun is indeed a Divine Being, but it stands in service to the Divine Aeon Sophia that is embodied as our planet.  The story of Sophia, the goddess who fell from her home in the Galactic Center - is archived in the Nag Hammadi texts of the Gnostics, those who could "see."  Their name actually translates to "those who are aimed."  The Gnostics were aimed just as readers of this site are today - towards our home - the Galactic Center.
Everything changes today.  Sophia is now fully awake from the blow she took when she was pulled from her home (to fully understand this, you must read the story).  She is now in two-way communication with those of her kind and is setting up to return there.  This is the reason the poles of the planet have been moving.  She has been navigating into position where she could have optimal signal (like the way we get better cell - mobile for international readers - phone coverage in certain locations).  She couldn't phone home until she was 1) awake and 2) in position.
Now she can begin the process of returning home.  This does not mean we are going to travel with her like the way we would physically travel across the ocean.  She will do this in her mind because this is the true way to cross space and time.  It all happens within her dreaming.
But it is certainly going to be a strange trip for us.  And those who aren't grounded (aligned) with the planet are going to lose their minds in one way or another.  We've seen the progression of this as the planet herself has gradually awakened.
What this means for us is that enlightenment (wisdom) will begin to spread like wildfire and so will it's opposite - endarkment (ignorance or insanity).  The Earth's alignment with her companions in the Galactic Center also means that the magic of creation is more readily available to us.  The power to create (or destroy) is freely available.  Edgar Allen Poe said "all that you see and seem is but a dream within a dream" and this will become more and more recognizable now.  We must make sure we are dreaming a dream that is beautiful and supportive of our Mother Earth.
If you knew you were part of a rescue team to help a woman who woke up and didn't know how to get home actually find her way home and the only way you could do it was to be the kindest soul you could be - one who found beauty and joy in the trees, animals, sky, elements, rocks, flowers, and humans around you - would you do it?  What if you knew that conditions were in place to do everything to keep you from seeing those things and instead seeing ugliness, loneliness, ignorance, and cruelty?  It would be a true task, but this is our only mission.  Sophia designed to plan to include our participation.  What we do affects what happens to her.  We are the wild card.
So this weekend, consider all of this and decide if you want to be on board.  Consider joining Sophia's conference call with the Galactic Center.  Step outside into the heart if the natural world and state your intention.  Then, from this day forward, intend to keep yourself in her alignment, no matter what the outside world brings you.  In the end, all that matters is our connection with the planet.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

shifting bad boy beliefs

I am getting at an ever deeper level how our beliefs shape our reality- this knowing continues to sink in. For so many years my belief was that the source of love was outside of myself. Believing that created excruciating pain and anguish and took me most of my life to heal. I just spoke to a friend who still beliefs it. I heard such agony in her voice. I knew she could not really believe that she could live in love without her recently departed man- ouch! I shared with her my truth how this is merely a conditioned belief, not the truth, that honestly she could free herself from this pain by realizing its illusionary nature. I  literally repeated the same thing four times because she kept telling me she could not understand what I was saying. Perhaps it planted a seed and perhaps I should have minded my own business- not quite sure. My experience is that life keeps hitting us until we get that it hurt us to limit ourself in anyway- to forget our own magnificence.
The beliefs that have been kicking my butt recently are these: that the energies could flatten me and take me out and that I would never, really, really experience joy here on earth, so far from my home. To be honest with you, I needed outside support to shift those bad boys. I spoke with my guides through a medium and they assured me that these energies could actually begin to GIVE me energy instead of how they previously had been crucifying me for so many years. Honestly, I don’t get the sense that was possible for most of us until the solar eclipse seemed to set a new frequency loose. Yet by shifting the belief that these massive influxes of energy would exhaust and unnerve me, when I read how there are massive solar flares, I no longer feel my stomach drop. Except for inadequate sleep, I am absolutely fine.
Then to have the astrological reading which explained very clearly why I am not yet experiencing joy, how that relates to my purpose and that it will be resolved, I can make peace with my lack of joy. Strangely there is something joyful about that. Below is some casual musings I wrote on the site I follow. Perhaps it will bring something useful:
For me too this ancient body memory is coming alive where to be separated from the remembrance of my True Self is just too bloody painful. Yet my big ahha is that no one can do that TO me except myself- I am ALWAYS the one to kick myself out of the KIngdom. This allows me to let everyone off the hook where I formerly truly believed THEY were the one pushing me into that yucky feeling- not so- what liberation. Often I fall back into the feeling tone of believing someone is doing it to me. Yet my daughter has been firing off a bunch of nonsense and I just look at her and smile and then this Love descends- freedom! 
My big challenges was that despite all the huge shifts, I experienced very little joy and I was beginning to get weary of the whole game. Having that astrological reading and seeing how my lack of joy fits perfectly with my dharma has freed me in a big way. I am now free to allow my lack of joy in almost a joyful way- hard to put in words yet the heaviness is lifting- thank the lord. So many belly laughs. And shifting the belief that these energies were trouncing me, taking me down, exhausting me etc- whoa! HUGE I AM NO LONGER AFAID AND FINALLY BEGINNING TO TRULY TRUST BEYOND THE LEVEL OF THOUGHT- YIPEE!!!!!!! What a ride. I am actually fine and just spent about an hour playing a game with the kids- previously unthinkable. And I am suddenly getting all these invitations and feeling like I can accept them. Miracles!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

news flash

I just had a delightful session with Dr. Michael Lennox on my astrology and it seems I have been getting my ass kicked astrologically forever (no surprise there) yet the end is in sight after Saturn stops blasting me in some uber challenging way. The news flash is there may a slight shift in my life purpose and message and whoa, does that explain a lot. So I have had to shift my book title for the book that has been in consciousness FORVER, just never written. Too exciting and shew, relief! More details to follow. But wanted to give his info as he has a special lasting about a week more- very el cheap o if you are interested.

Dr. Michael Lennox
(310) 585-8302

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Healing judgment

Last night was one of the most pleasant, joyful and peaceful of my life. It felt like my dreams come true- so much love and celebration. One of my dearest friend and I had had a misunderstanding. Both my friend and I were feeling so tired we weren't sure we could even really do the Venus transit completion ritual planned, and yet when we got together and spoke of our conflict, resolving our misunderstanding, instantly both of us were flooded with the most pure, revitalizing energy- this can not be coincidence. This has been what is so powerful and refreshing in our friendship, the sense that our energy increases and flows so purely when we are together. Such a precious gift. :jazz: :dance: :love: The ritual was simple yet so harmonious and renewing and felt like a true baptism into a new reality of connection and release from old wounds and patterns. Nature supported us fully with cool breezes and the celebratory song of the birds.
Had huge awareness today of a certain knowing sinking below the level of the mind. The texts I study always speak of knowing ourselves as love and realizing nothing can change that. I realize my upset with anyone always comes down to one thing- that somehow their behavior has upset or hurt me, taken me out of LOVE. I questioned what was the common denominator in all my upsets lately- the feeling of being pushed out of Love. I read a quote this morning that I have taped on my mirror from Abraham ( a channeled entity) about how were are in charge of our own vibration and no one can shift our energy without our permission and cooperation- so hard for me to live. Yet I really got it. The reason I am upset with people is because I have believed their behavior is upsetting me. Simple enough yet is it true? Obviously not since a ton of stuff my wasband use to do and still does used to send me supersonic and now I am totally neutral about it. So as my Courses have preached forever, it is ALWAYS me who kicks me out of the "kingdom." My mentor said we are coming to a time where judgment will be intolerable, unsupportable. I get it. When I judge another for having upset or hurt me, I feel so exhausted or in intense physical discomfort. I now really understand no one can make me feel or do anything- i am at choice. Now to disconnect those last and most hardwired buttons- ah, that will be my task. Don't know if I can really convey it, yet I no GET this is the path to true liberation. :thumbs: :calm: :flower: :pray: :calm: :love2:

and a sweet post:

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Heaven on Earth

Something sure is afoot. I feel somehow like I am emerging from slime. My dream fragments last night point to what I mean:

in classroom with my daughter's teacher. he was very affectionate and kept hugging me, felt good and playful. Suddenly classroom which is now a room in my house is filling with water. i have been trying to show teacher hand movements to determine if P or J on personality test and we get distracted. i think, should I save anything from being washed away like my jewelry (which I do really enjoy so much) or not. see myself not acting to save anything. then suddenly at the lake where I spent my summers. My sister and daughter in a motor boat and I should get to the boat anchored off shore. try to use little row boat yet it fills with water, turns out full of holes. Then try to swim but tons of seaweed pull me down, my legs are so heavy I can't really swim and am sinking. wonder if I will be able to get to the surface before running out of air.

It feels as though I stand between two worlds, a foot on either side. It reminds me of when I stood with one foot on either side of the Equator when I was in Africa or on either side of the date line when in Fiji- one foot in today and one in tomorrow. (Actually the date line is in the middle of the ocean yet they have a plaque at a certain point to commemorate it- I have the photo to prove I was in today and tomorrow simultaneously.) I wake up in the old world, feeling sluggish and a bit depressed. Yet as the day goes on, if I stay vigilant, so many new experiences unfold- of feeling much deeper connections with my loved ones, of appreciating beauty more than ever, of my heart opening in burst of joy, of uproarious laughter. I sit now with the most appetizing wind blowing across my body, under a canopy of green backlit by the most vivid blue sky. Yet I also went into upset here at the tutor’s when I feared my daughter would again not get out of the car. I felt fear grip me and walked away to do my best not to give it reality and sure enough, on her own she just got out. To me it is critical not to give in to old fears and limiting beliefs.

On the night of the eclipse a family drama played out after a series of things went “wrong.” Since similar things had happened numerous times before it was hard not to go into the old story, fears and worries. Yet I very consciously filled my mind with good thoughts, ideas and imaginings. I deliberately slowed my breathing and centered. In the morning when the challenge continued I did not become angry or focus on a negative outcome. I did my best to choose the new world, where I see my own magnificence and that of all those I encounter. I felt compassion and understanding instead of my previous rage and upset. And lo and behold, it all worked out.

It seems clear to me that we are at choice now in a way we never have been before. If we choose the ego and upset, it will be delivered immediately. If we choose love and compassion, that too can be ours. A woman at the grocery store let me cut ahead of her with my two items. I was so tired I was about to drop and I thanked her. I wondered aloud if perhaps she let me go ahead because she could see how tired I was. No, turns out she was more tired than me and had a VERY challenging day. How delightful to gift her with my caring- perhaps we brightened each other’s days.

To actively say YES and chose life, joy, peace, understanding and compassion for me seems critical. When I went the least bit into upset and reaction as the drama unfolded on the night of the Venus transit, I felt as though my head would literally lift off. I felt incredible pressure. Funny, just in this moment I realize it may have been my crown charka activating as I really focused on staying neutral and non-reactive!

I am also noticing so much more acceptance of my beingness. Monday it was storming and pouring rain. I stayed home in my pajamas much of the day, slowly seeing myself not going to my class or the gym. It felt so rejuvenating and self adoring! “Be-ers” have never been so acknowledged by the western world so I had always felt a sense of not belonging, of being less than because I am not as “productive” in a worldly way as many. I am done with that. I now view my beingness as incredibly rich and also a gift to the world. My resting in peace and love hold a frequency. When I read Eckhart Tolle’s description of frequency holders I burst into tears as it felt like the first time I had been understood, acknowledged and appreciated by the greater world. I felt so validated and began to see my own gifts in a new way.

The other big shift for me is to accept my own inner authority rather than constantly look to others for answers. My friends Jenn and Erika helped me to see this more clearly and tell me that the challenge is related to my north node being in Capricorn. Now that is Greek to me yet they tell me it means I must learn to KNOW my own truth rather than looking to anyone or anything outside myself for answers. Reading my friends’ words where again I felt so seen, so appreciated, so loved lead to a slew of laughter and tears and so much gratitude. I now feel this inner trust arising more and more. On the night of the drama I literally wanted to call someone to ask them what I should do. Then I thought, well who would know how to handle this better than I would? Answer: no one. So that leaves me holding the bag and I am actually beginning to trust ME- now there is a concept!! Yes, the slime still can try to suck me down yet I have a choice to remember WHO I am, limitless power dancing unity, and boogie on through this adventure called life.

I was just reviewing my daughter's school work and read this on India:

“In ancient India, humans looked upon this world as unreal.

They longed to return to the real world of heaven where all was real and everlasting. They considered life on Earth to be a time in which to return to Brahma.”

Most of my life I wanted outtta here, wanted to return to my home far away, definitely not on this planet. Now I am realizing the true longing is to live here on earth, knowing we can choose to be in heaven, right here and right now. The choice is ours. Not always- o.k. still not often easy to make- yet our choice. And slowly getting easier- we just need to remember our own magnificence. Heaven on Earth- I say YES!!!

Monday, June 4, 2012

morning blessings

I found this reassuring. Good news! I don't have the link but extracted best part and perhaps can be found on Google if you want the whole- from today.

The Morning Blessings 

Reverend Angela Peregoff 
The more each member of every kingdom, including human, takes responsibility for
 their thoughts, feelings, and emotions the less there is projection onto 
If instead there is projection of unconditional love, abundance, hope, peace, 
and joy onto others the acting out of fear energies would be minimized allowing 
healing and transformation for Gaia and all her inhabitants in a smooth and 
manner. And once responsibility is taken each shall see the consequences of 
actions and choices before making them. A new sense of joy, active 
creativity, and pleasure will flow through the human element on Earth and align 
with its Soul purpose joining the Devas, Elementals, Imaginals, Angels, Ascended
 Masters and all Universal Light Beings in the anchoring of the New wisdom and 
upon earth.
So the mantra for June is as follows: I release fear of the unknown and open in 
love to the power, worth and energy of the one creative Self fully engaged with 
the deeper truth of my Being.Using this affirmative catch phrase for the entire 
month will allow us to shine our brilliant light of love into the Unity 
grid of the earth, helping to facilitate the activation of Gaia's passage to her
 next expression of greatness, and thus ours as well. When we find the faith to 
release our fear limitations in favor of a more expanded version of potential 
we become capable of living in Truth. This opportunity, when taken, will support
 us reaching our full potential en masse.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

True Love

I found this very inspiring and a clear explanation of what Love actually is and how to embody it in our being.

Friday, June 1, 2012



If you choose to write to me about discounted Cellular Memory Release sessions, having me include your desires in the upcoming ritual or wanting to ask a question, please identify yourself as readers of my blog- I am getting some strange emails that I am moving to spam yet would hate to accidentally spam a true friend. Thanks, savannah

What's up?

Here is a lovely article cluing us in to what is up astrologically and how we can best take advantage of these momentous events. So far it is fairly clear sailing. I just went through something that even a month ago would have had me reaching for a double margarita (just kidding- I don't really drink much but you get the picture). This time there were some difficult moments and angry words yet overall so much more peace and acceptance. The main thing for me is having broken the beliefs that these energies were too big, too uncomfortable, whatever. Just having shifted that belief, things are sooo much easier. So keep checking to ensure your beliefs are working for you. How to check? Tell your self that every thought you have is ordering something from the Universe and then check to see if that thought appeared instantaneously, would you be glad? For example, here's some I have had to jettison- I can't take it, it is too much, this will never end, I am too sensitive, these energies might crush me, these energies are hard to handle. Beliefs that work: I am unlimited, I am powerful beyond measure, I make a difference,  I am extending love, these energies are supporting me in my deepest longing. Try playing with this, and for God sakes, don't take any of it too serious. Alright my loves, enjoy the ride!!