Tuesday, October 29, 2013

when body feels safe, heart opens up

I have been aware for some time that I have had an issue with feeling safe here on Earth. I thought it was gone as I had not experienced it in quite awhile. Yet the Universe kindly presented me with a situation last week that showed me that lack of safety was still operational in my life. I dove into it, allowed it with almost no resistance and definitely no judgment of self or other. Tonight I listened to a talk by Matt Kahn. The final piece of the puzzle fell into place and it feels so miraculous to me. I have been doing a 48 hour experiment from the book E- Squared  by Pam Grout where i demand the Universe/God reveal itself, him/herself to me. Several things have shown up. First a heart in a negative space caused by our bunny pushing her hay around and uncovering the floor of her cage into a heart space. She has never before uncovered the floor of her cage. I questioned if that was a clear enough sign, then a positive space heart appeared in the actual hay, still I wasn't certain I should take that as a sign, yet hey I'm still not 100% that is the face of God. Then I said if you are there, let me thread this needle I have not been able to thread for 10 minutes and then I'll be convinced, yes it worked immediately. Still i questioned, saying let it happen again when I accidentally pulled thread out, and it did. But I am a tough customer and still wasn't satisfied. Now this. BINGO!! Definitely the face of God, for this answer to arise exactly when I need it. I felt deeply clueless how to heal that lack of safety. Then I "happened" to listen to Matt's show when I did not "plan" to. Miracles, it is official, God exist. Having the answer to my question arise when I have had that question buried within and never heard it addressed in a way that made sense to me and could heal at the base level of primal wounding this lack of safety represents, yup, that was a slam dunk for me. Especially with all the mini miracles added together in my 48 hours I am going to give the experiment a thumbs up.

Below are my notes from the show, they are a bit obscure and the material is quite esoteric yet fundamentally simple. My hope is it will bring answers and comfort to you as it did to me.
Also, as an aside, i am still pretty much unable to write anything coherent or in depth here, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the level of my own ongoing transformation and upgraded. In this moment my body is buzzing with a very strong hyper energy which indicates to be another big physical download. Just an fyi if anyone is wondering. So here are the notes from Matt's free talk. You can find him at TrueDivineNature.com 

Remind body how safe it is, 

when body feels safe, heart opens!

Remind the body how safe it is, once heart opens, miraculous abilities open on own.

Best way to help body remember it is safe is to say, I love you! to oneself

Internal change not come about unless only noticing physical discomfort in body, and letting it be as it is
not see mind as problem, see everything through eyes as love therefore all is advanced tool of God including mind, mind messenger of heart letting you know how closed or open you are

Body not feeling safe, tell it I love you!
We are not the one in charge of activation and awakening, can’t force internal work, return body to safety, help heart open by loving ourselves

Help body feel safe, employ radical honesty, need it from ourselves not from other, can’t be honest about others as then just honest projection, can I be honest with you is not really possible, yes, you can be honest with yourself in my presence 

How am I honestly feeling, don’t have to like it, just be honest, when honest about ourselves and our experience, no longer trying to like or avoid or reframe experience, love the one who experiences however life is being experienced

Everything we try to get rid of is a level of self rejection which makes us feel bad, unsafe; I accept I feel this way and I don’t like it and even don’t like other if they can’t take this suffering away from me, frees us, not trying to change experience we are having, just transforming our relationship with it.

Noisy mind only asking me to send love to my heart
Benefit of strong facade is when it cracks and allow our vulnerability to shine through

What don’t you know that scares you the most, admit I am afraid not to know this, anticipate rejection, abandonment only manifested to show us next aspect of self to that’s next in line to be loved, manifest what’s next in line to be loved as never before, all to help us be unconditional lovers

For people to argue requires 2 people who think they know what is going on; when in “I don’t know” unable to argue

If life seems to sabotage you, in fact it is trying to point something out

Life conspires to create adversity to see what will grow so we’ll will begin to live with our vulnerability as our greatest asset; bottom line whether filled with fear or embodied with light, everything gained will be lost whether fearful or courageous, grief not because what I had, I lost rather kicking self I didn’t make the most of this temporarily experience while it was here
Everything we gain we lose, be willing to accept this is going to end so if I can live with everything in my experience as though this moment/breath is my last one, will bring me fullest experience, therefore no suffering when temporary dissolves

Free of burden frees us of being victimized, if you walk with death, live every moment as the last, nothing in universe can limit us, doorway to radiant immortality 

Attract what we judge, ist level law of attraction everything you judge as less then manifestation of divine you will pull in to wake you up to that limitation

Life brings to me what I have unconsciously judged, let go of belief that something other than the divine exist, then radiate light that mirrors you rather than mirrors chaos of life

Rely on own loving heart for everything

Energetic co-dependency  can’t allow myself to shine until everyone shines; in fact if we shine helps others see their own brilliance 

Final message: the greatest relationships we create when we hold no one accountable to our expectations, must be that we love ourselves no matter what comes up, feel something in body, love it, if can’t, love the one who can’t and doesn’t know how to do it, be one who know longer fights with oneself

Physical body, kingdom through which heaven is revealed to all
Matt Kahn  TrueDivineNAture.com

powerful demonstration of baby's response to mother's emotions/song

Baby reacts to mom's song

this is the most powerful thing I have ever seen to show how our children respond to our emotions. witnessing the moment to moment reaction of the baby to the emotions the mother's song was evoking was very powerful

Monday, October 28, 2013

life as an angel- wonderful explanation of why/how Cellular Memory Release works

Mid interview is the best explanation I have ever heard of how we can release cellular memory, why it is so essential, how we can simply allow it. All wonderful but cellular memory parts starts at about 9 minutes. Has helped trigger a big shift in my ability to accept and allow at an ever deeper level.



of you only knew

"...the rate at which you openly surrender to feeling your feelings was what you are allowing to leave your field... say to  yourself  "i allow this feeling to be felt, knowing what I am feeling is leaving my energy field, you'll actually feel the shift happen faster."

visual feast

My wasband just created an art site to show some of his photos. He is an amazing artist that has exhibited worldwide, mostly paintings. For two years he has created hearts shaped with flower petals and then sent them adrift with his heart’s intent into rivers and creeks. They are spectacular, a true visual feast. Bring beauty to your day and give them a peek.


1l,222 love lights joining me thus far world wide, what a gorgeous number!! what a miraculous blessing to join with so many beautiful beings

the new children

Another great article and video about the new children or children of the now.


Saturday, October 26, 2013

follow the joy

My dearest sister, daughter, mother, friend Sara has just started a delicious new blog about following the joy. I highly encourage you to give it a peek. You will get to imbibe on her sparkling, vibrant energy of creativity, honesty, wisdom and joy. Don't miss this scrumptious word feast!!!!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


Friday, October 25, 2013


What joy I just received looking at the little globe on my blog. I haven't looked at it in some time and to see all the beloved love lights glittering around Gaia sent another big love wave through my heart. Russia, I don't know why you and so many other countries never show up, especially as you are my second highest visitor. Know I hold you in my heart even though your little light currently doesn't show up on my little globe. Darlings, watch out, a huge love wave is headed your way. Hold on to your hats so they don't wash away! My wish is for your hearts to be filled with the love that is currently awash in me. May the love wave I am sending fill you to the brim!! so many kisses savannah


love wave

Yesterday I changed the name of the blog, experimenting with a new energy coming through me. I came up with love wave. The love wave of abundance and joy passing through me in this moment is so great it feels as though my body can not contain it and it keeps getting bigger. Today could have been a day of great disappointment yet I am feeling bliss and even ecstacy. I woke up in the middle of the night last night and it was as though I suddenly saw my life from an entirely different prospective. The prism of my view of my life was given one turn of the kaleidoscope. I felt how incredibly abundant my life IS. I saw how I have everything I need and most of the things I desire. I saw how over and over I have been blessed with such gifts of extraordinarily rich experiences, unexpected gifts, a home on a spectacular piece of land, a beloved daughter, wonderful friends, good health, numerous years of fascinating travel, a marvelous education, numerous adventures, fabulous wardrobe etc. I saw how often I got exactly what I most desired. My day flowed from there. One student showed up for my Conscious Parenting class that I devoted the last month to, pouring my time, energy, lover, passion and even money into. In the past I would have seen one student showing up as a sign of failure or a reason to feel discouraged. I gave everything to the class as though I was presenting to the United Nations. It felt vibrant and alive and I believe the student gained a lot. I walked away feel grateful and enriched. My day continues to be showered with unexpected blessings and tokens of abundance. If this is the new energy, i say yes and amen. From where I have been over the last many years, the shift is stratospheric. From agony to ecstasy, wow, what a ride!!!

p.s. this comes after two difficult days of little sleep and some deep processing. the differences is I was able to allow the sharp pain that felt like a big blow to the solar plexus, when issues of not being loved arose for another pass, without resistance, without a story, without doubt arising. I was very aware it was serving me by clearing blocked energy. The whole process, while challenging was at the same time effortless. what can I say,  it definitely doesn't make any sense but the entire experience now feels truly miraculous.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

sadness serves, honor it

In every moment of sadness, another layer of outdated cellular memories leaves your energy field. As each layer is released through spontaneous expressions of doubt, despair, and disappointment, the world is equally cleansed and released from the spell of unconsciousness. This may help you understand how there is nothing to fear when sadness is present. If anything, knowing the energetic purpose behind such a misunderstood emotion reminds you to slow down and relax your body, so you may see how an experience of sadness has absolutely nothing to do with the circumstances and outcomes that bring it to the surface.

Sadness is your highest transformation being recognized in progress. No matter how lonely it may seem or how devastating it can feel, sadness acts as the unsuspecting sign that a new reality has dawned within you. As this is accepted, the consuming nature of sadness transforms into the peaceful resolve of self-realization.

This helps to dispel any myth about the location of awakening that many believe exists somewhere beyond the grip of sadness. Instead, awakening is the natural recognition of your essential nature that unfolds with ease, once the healing power of sadness has been survived. This may also help you see how in its’ purest form, sadness is not the absence of happiness. Sadness is actually the clean-up crew of the universe. One breakdown at a time, it sweeps every distraction out of your energy field, so the happiness that is always here can be revealed.www.truedivinenature.com

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Monday, October 21, 2013

good belly laugh

what REALLY serves me, more clearing of limitations

Reading Lisa Renee’s article yesterday created a huge shift in me. I see I was looking at ways to control the fact that $ isn’t flowing my way and that  despite my clarity, my passion, my actually marketing it a fair amount this time, I still don’t have even one sign up yet for my beloved conscious parenting class that starts this week! so what the f*ck is up with that? right, last month I felt screwed by the Universe when 2 weeks of heaviness nearly ploughed me under. I was pissed off and felt betrayed. Like, after all this work, this is the repayment i get? what the &&@@#)*(&%#@@#%TYT@!!@#$% This time around I am experiencing it differently. First, because I SEE and KNOW the heaviness served me by bringing it clearly to my attention for clearing. I feel lighter than I almost ever have before. Yes, so many wayshowers seem to be taken to the brink. Yet I now see it as a gift 8O at least sort of. Why? Because basic survival is where the petal meets the metal. We all pay big time attention, right? I see one belief is definitely in my way and I am now clearing it playfully :evil: Yet I realize that is not the biggest point, rather it is bottom line here. Do I trust the Universe or not? Can I truly surrender to the game plan my soul mapped out for me? It is just the ultimate wake up call forcing me to align more fully with my Divine nature and prodding me until I get it big time. No blame, no judgment, just a loving hand saying, over here, this way. Everybody seems to get to go through this initiation. So if I view it peacefully, with equanimity and full on trust I absolutely believe that sooner or later, I will catch the vibe wave and just sail into abundance and having my message and passion reach millions, if that is indeed my destiny. So I am choosing to keep playing with my vision, keep beaming my intent to the Universe like a light house, keep the faith and hang on. Whatever I need with the power of my intent will show up and clear, with my focus and passion guiding the way. No more back sliding even though my vision is resting purely on faith, not much  physical evidence to support it right now. I have cleared so much in my life especially crippling anxiety. no way i am not going to whole my way through this one too. It is a done deal. This is not about control, about me “figuring ” it out. I have set the course so now I just await a power much greater than I can imagine to take the reins and make this happen. Now I am just waiting for the evidence to show up at the bank or in whatever form of gorgeous abundance that brings me the material/ physical plane goodies my Divinity has planned for me. Yea, I wish that I have not been brought so close to the edge a few times but I guess that is what my soul required so I say YES.

P.S. After writing this about an hour later I found out my IRA made about a 20 % gain in a month! Now that is the magic I am talking about!

Sunday, October 20, 2013

spiritual nomad:clearing beliefs in limitation


Phyllis brought this to my attention on ThinkwithYourHeart.com. I am very intent on this area now and gaining so many awarenesses of the gifts of this process, of my attempts to control and be the maker and the do-er which I am discovering no longer works and of my lack of trust in my own Divinity and in the Universe to meet my needs, even though it always has. The article was a sweet reminder and eye opener. Perhaps it will serve you too.

This process is designed to cultivate the incredible inner strength needed to face yourself and your deepest fears of survival. You then become intimate with the universal Law of Abundance and learn how generous the universe really is, even if it's not all manifested in order of your personal preference. You find that somehow, someway, all your base needs are being met, even though you have not the foggiest clue how it's happening or who some of the strangers are that have appeared in your life to support you - in ways you would never imagine! You learn how to receive from total strangers (an illusion, as everyone is Family) or from new sources, and learn how to acknowledge and receive these new ideas of abundance of which you were not formerly aware.

So, most commonly, one is feeling a type of embarrassment at being in the situation one is in; yet, simultaneously, feeling gratitude at these blessings being demonstrated at the most mundane levels (or even incredibly opulent levels) of existence. Finally, at about this time, you begin to Trust and realize that you REALLY are divinely protected and supported! You can relax now (at least a little)!

I began to experience a new level of universal abundance and had to release my attachment to my ego's desire/need to create it as coming from me. That illusion was a tricky one to dispel! I spent many bemused moments pondering the circumstances in which I found myself. It cultivated in me a trust that my needs would be met and that my spiritual path and mission was indeed supported in the physical world.

These experiences DO cultivate a level of deep faith and trust in the Divine Order, even when you do not have any external validation of "safety" - and that safety could be monetary, emotional support or a place to call "home" with a bed in it. Even when you are feeling blind and disconnected, to face this uncertainty and to find yourself 'okay' with it all is a major revelation. When you realize that your deepest fears (so many of them!) did not happen anyway, and, if they did... well, it really was not as bad as you once imagined it! My God! You can face just about anything! Your personal power begins to increase and your inner light glows ever more radiantly!
 You cannot "make" anything happen while you are in this process. So, you must relax as best you can. You are in transition to your greater destiny. When relaxing, you are expanding, not constricting, and the divine forces can more easily work through you and for you. Know that transformational forces are working magic in your life in ways you cannot comprehend. There really IS a Divine Order to what is happening to you. Know that it is okay not to know. Get more comfortable with uncertainty and external chaos while you cultivate that impenetrable core of divine essence to show the way for you and others. Finally, know that your Family is out here. We get it; we know what it's like and we love you for walking the path with US!

Lisa Renee

Saturday, October 12, 2013

dialogue on money/lack

conversation from ThinkwithyourHeart.com 
dancing unity (savannah) says:
another stab at my $ question. It seems to me financial woes seems to be a common symptom of us wayshowers. I know for this to shift there is nothing TO DO. I know it depends on my BEING, my vibe. I know it is an individual process. Yet given how many of us seem to be affected despite a high level of awareness, I am wondering if the crystal ball has any info on this; my sense is that the shifting energies will make the transition into being in a vibe of abundance a little easier to discover just as the vibe of the equinox has made it sooo much easier for me to function and to be at peace/calm. Any sense this is in the cards? Seems like a little dough would make things easier for us to get our gifts into the world but maybe I am trying to put the cart before the horse.
  • Avatar of LaurenLauren says:
    I agree…financial challenges def are a “wayshower/lightworker” theme.
    5D creation is holographic in nature so it REQUIRES that you put the cart before the horse!
  • You have to play a little make-believe to get the momentum going…create your reality, THEN step into it. If you do it the other way around…wait for the supports to show before you make your move…you will continue to create more “waiting for your supports to show”.
    Remember, you have to get out in front of the energy here…you create the circumstances in your life, you don’t create your life FROM your circumstances.
    This switch in dynamic is EVERYthing, literally. You have to get accustomed to knowing and therefore trusting that the universe will supply.
    It’s all light-hearted imagination, play & pretend…the minute you take it too seriously (read: attachment) you plop back down to the “real world”…which is just another outdated version of make-believe anyway
    • I know my purpose and now trust my value. My challenge is to trust how to get it into the world. I am attached to my parenting class. for my other class had 2 sign ups, one showed. PArenting class- no sign ups yet. I get attached to outcome because I desire it so much and because of $. my unexpected major expenses  yesterday adds fuel to the fire. How to play and lighten up will now be my intent. I sooo feel the heaviness of my lack of trust in my ability to get it into the world. Thanks so much for this overview, very helpful. Hard to whole this since we are trained to DO and I so get the doing with attachment just keeps me stuck in the mud. 8O 8O 8O
      • Avatar of LaurenLauren says:
        yes, DOing is the tricky part when coming from truth, but it is a 3D requirement and one that will enable us to truly lead by example.
        We have to BE AND DO…in that order.
        When action at the 3D level comes from inspiration at the 5D level, you are golden.
        Anything that we DO out of fear (need) in this space will flop…anything we DO out of LOVE (desire) in this space will soar.
        Create from “having what you want” instead of “getting what you need” and the ideas, concepts, information, inspiration on “the how” will open up and flood you…in some cases till you drown 8O
        you already have your whole plan completed within you…you just have to open up and let it out…into the world.
        • yes, i could feel my strategic mind try to “do” lightness and non attachment. it is so tricky as i “need” some money. My doing is coming from a mixture of need and passion/love so of course i recognize that screws up my results. I feel myself trying so hard to do non attachment. What is so clear for me lately is that I am not the maker and doer in this, if that makes sense. no way can my ego figure this out. Pre equinox the heaviness of my eons experiencing the heaviness of being human arose to be wholed. I didn’t plan or do it, it arose as it was necessary for my wholing. Trust for me is key now. I can’t make this happen, plan my wholing. I must trust it to unfold as needed to return to my own essence.
          Am reading a great book by Rasha called “Oneness”. She says not to take constant setbacks and trauma/drama as a sign we are off course, rather that we are right on course, in the final stages. Seems mean to have your best worker bees in the wayshower business get repeatedly trounced but there you go. My mind has no clue how to lighten up, get unattached and out of my own way. My mind wants to take control. My heart knows better.

          Lauren says:
          “My mind has no clue how to lighten up, get unattached and out of my own way.”
          try playing with your mind!…give it what it wants, which is a way out.
          The trick is, the only way out is thru…so allow your mind to give you all the “worst-case scenarios”…then play along by accepting all those scenarios as if they were true, feel the complete discomfort in all the “what-if’s”…don’t leave any out!…then your mind can stop looping, and you can get back to the business of LOVE.
          Once there…in the vibration of truth…your (higher) mind will open and flood you with possibility, opportunity and plans for how to make those two things a REALity.
          • good idea, will give it a try, for now returning to functioning is on the agenda as I am scheduled to go out of state (hoho, :lol: love that, meant to another state, as in to Nevada, but surely need to go to another state!)