Wednesday, June 11, 2014

repeat- this is what the hell i need

Just looked again at this and feels truer now then when i first published it in Jan. 2012. Yup, I really often can see it. I literally had tears of joy in my sacred meditation space, other wise known as my hammock just a while ago. I was thinking how any concept I had of God some years ago might have included (close your eyes if you are inclined to see things as blasphemous) the words masochist, sadist, cruel, merciless, diabolical, barbarous, blood thirsty, vicious, ruthless and brutal. Lately I see how all the puzzle pieces fit together and pushed me through the fire's of transformation on the bullet train. I was feeling such gratitude and now would characterize the Divine as wise, clever, all seeing, all knowing, astute, ingenious, brilliant, perceptive, insightful and knows what is for my highest good. Oh yea baby, it often wasn't pretty. Yes, the cost was rather uncomfortable but what price can you put on true freedom and being in love with oneself and life? I just gotta say YES, I am willing to pay this price for bliss.
If I could return to my younger self, I would whisper assurances to her and ask her to trust more. I would tell her all her challenges were not punishments or the results of her perceived inadequacies, quite the opposite. I would cuddle and cherish her, promising her that the obstacles were in her path to guide her in the exact direction that would best position her with the highest likelihood of fulfilling her dreams and vision.
I certainty have not fulfilled the totality of my vision. Yet I have a taste of certainty, competency and confidence that in time I will. For the first time in my life, existence does not feel like  constant burden. Yes, it is still often challenging. Yet there are moments of absolute clarity and knowing that I will actually get where my vision leads me, despite all my current misgivings and discomfort. A wellspring of trust has arisen and an ability to witness how I am being divinely guided to my destiny.

"Whatever the hell happens, say this is what I need. It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity. If you bring love to that moment, not discouragement, you will find the strength there. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes." 

- Joseph Campbell, the Follow Your Bliss Man 

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