Heaven, hell, depleted, benevolent, water

Beloveds,

I had two energized and pleasant days with once extremely enjoyable evening. I have had the chance to swim in clear, crystal mountain waters which I swear is a significant part of what keeps me afloat. Then last night I woke up after less than a few hours sleep. I tired everything to go back to sleep from my chi machine, reading The Course in Miracles and then a hot bath. When I tried to turn off the water of the tub, it would not twist off. I tried in a panic for about 10 minutes then woke my daughter as she is generally very clever with these things. She too failed. Then I called my adorable wasband who was awake and helped us shut down the water to the whole house. The valve had changed when we got a water filter and I could not figure it out on my own. The one miracle was I was able to not react one someone was very grumpy and attacking. Yet again I feel so depleted and discouraged. For those two days all felt so benevolent I wondered I could ever doubt. Now the day looms like an endless tunnel to crawl through. One day my energy is pristine and creative, the next flat lined and dead. Schizophrenia anyone? I share this as it is part of my mission to do my best to normalize this journey and lend encouragement.  Yet sometimes the road seems soooo long and soooo arduous. Will it ever be easy and graceful,
P L E A S E !!!! Today I must do my best to love my own discouragement, depletion, exhaustion and indifference.   All while praying I get a Saturday plumber! This is potent energy, may it carry you gently in its waves.