Monday, November 12, 2012

lineage, liberation, my timeline and keys


Lineage and liberation

Last night I had a wonderful moment of liberation. Throughout the day I had a curious experience of eating very healthy and then eating compulsively, gobbling down granola clusters when I was already full and not even paying attention as I ate them. Part of me observed myself with curiosity as I felt a slight stomach ache from eating that excess food. I woke up in the middle of the night for just a few minutes aware of a startling shift. My first thought on awakening was the memory of eating compulsively. My second was being aware of just observing that memory WITHOUT JUDGMENT, WITH NEUTRALITY. It was such a clear shift from what I would normally think that it highlighted a level of self judgment of which I was previously unconscious. The absence of judgment finally brought it to my conscious attention. To me it spotlighted the certainty that yesterday’s portal of higher energies was no small potatoes.

Lately I wake up each morning with a formulated message to write. My intent is always to highlight how to use these energies for transformation and liberation. I know that my process is undoubtedly not in step with yours. I am imagining most of my readers may be in the midst of the unraveling. My understanding is that between 3-5% of the population was in my wave of unraveling. My mission (which I might not have accepted had I known how %^&*)(*&%#@@$%%^&*((^^$ difficult is was going to be, kidding, of course) was to go ahead and embody these energies at a time when few understood what was occurring and the climate was not one that made these shifts very comfortable. Now the light frequency has increased so dramatically I am imagining it will be a much more efficient process to shift to the higher dimensions.That said, the message I got this morning was to outline my process of transformation. I intended to do so briefly but surprised myself by going into detail. I’ll start with the Cliff notes (short version for those wanting to cut to the chase)

1987: woke up with clear recognition I needed to change my life. Read A Road Less Traveled  and began a serious exploration of spiritual and self help books.

1989-1993 world travels; two 10 day silent retreats in Thailand learning Vipassana  meditation, learning to be the observer of my experience rather than identifying with it

1997: learning the value of silence, reconnecting with nature 

1993: University of Santa Monica. Began a degree program in personal transformation

2000: Reconnected to the feeling tone of unconditional Love through being in the presence of my new born daughter

2001: Committed to the Course in Miracles. Began huge process of unraveling. Discovered Eckhart Tolle’s  Power of Now. Discovered I must drop into my body experience without the story to get free of fear.

2004: Began learning Cellular Memory Release. Realized it was critical to drop into my body to release stored memories, conditioning, beliefs.

2010?/2011 Discovered Karen Bishop and then Think with Your Heart and realized this is a worldwide phenomena of awakening.

2010: Began writing blog.

2011: Discovered Way of Mastery and joined group.

2012: Realized the best way to remember Who I am is by extending mySelf and my treasures. Dawning awareness of my ability to create.

And the long version:

1987: New Year. I was super aware of a powerful intent to change my life. I had no idea how so I began with a massive weight loss program followed by some intense transformational work. I made the agonizing decision I had debated for years and broke up with my boyfriend. A week later I met the man who would eventually become my husband. I began reading a ton of self help books but my initial wake up call came from A Road Less Traveled by Scott Pack. I also attended, very reluctantly, a few OA meetings which began my shift from agnostic to spiritual. I had been raised Catholic and was very religious early in life until I broke with the church abruptly at age 19.

1989-1992: Traveled around the world with my new boyfriend absorbing the traditions and customs of many countries, becoming a citizen of the world. Reading every spiritual and self help book I could find. Did two ten day silent retreats in Vipassana meditation in Thailand.

1992: Returned to the United States alone and did two parts of a program called Insight, transformational workshops.

1993: Debated my commitment to my relationship and enrolled in the University of Santa Monica to obtain my degree in Spiritual and Counseling psychology. Studied 1993 to 1995. In 1997 added an emphasis in Consciousness, Health and Healing. 

1995: Married my boyfriend Georg.

1995-2003: Did my hours for licensing in a variety of settings including cancer support , schools, court mandated, domestic violence, family, couples: the whole gamut. Studied for and obtained my license in 2003.

1997: Uncovered a profound need for silence and rediscovered my love affair with nature (thank you Georg).

2001: Began an intense release of fear, especially after 9/11. Became devoted to a Course in Miracles after merely glancing at it for years. Discovered Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now and began diving into my experience in my body.

2000: Took time off to move to Guatemala to adopt our daughter.

2003: Left our home and traveled off and on for six months to find where we belonged.

2004: Settled in Nevada County and began learning Cellular Memory Release.

2005-2006 Certification in Cellular Memory Release.

2005-present: teaching and facilitating groups such as Power of Now, Way of Mastery, Self Love is not for Wimps!, doing private sessions.

2009-2011. Intense and agonizing period of unraveling as marriage falls apart, triggering my core wound at the primal level.Realized it is our remembrance of  Who we are that is the critical element of waking up. Somewhere in this period discovered Karen Bishop. In 2011 discovered  Lauren at Think with Your Heart. Those two people helped me begin to understand that what was happening to me was not random or cruel but rather a process of waking up. By 2011 I was clear this was a global process that was genuinely helpful and the answer to my most profound dreams.

2012: Personally discovered that the best way to remember myself as Love is to extend Love. Developed numerous practices to extend myself. Began to wake up more frequently to my long yearned for, remembered feeling tone of unconditional Love.

Shew, that blast from the past has left me feeling rather tuckered so I think I better pop outside for a recharge. Sending you much love and kisses in these miraculous times. Remember, if your experience does not feel very uplifted now, it is only a matter of time if you choose to commit to this journey. I reconnected to my linage 
( which for me is primarily  through  The Course in Miracles, Way of Mastery,  awakening to my own Christ Consciousness) and then it was so much easier to fully commit.  Once the commitment is made, the power of the Universe steps in and guides the journey home. You must only hang in there for the ride. Blessings on your journey.

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