Thursday, July 24, 2014

responsibility vs. blame and a dream

I have been pondering like forever how to free oneself of the prison of ego. One thing doesn't work for sure. BLAME or judgment. That just tightens the noose. What does work is taking responsibility. Yet for me it is such a fine line. Raised Catholic, it is easy for me to slip into self judgment, seeing myself as a sinner who just isn't quite up to snuff. So while there are no easy answers, perhaps shining the light will help you each witness your behavior, see if it feels good or not, make changes when you can and surrender to they mystery always. The witness gives you the leverage to make a new choice. Without being able to recognizing what we are doing and whether or not it is beneficial  there is no possibility for change. The change is not made to a sinner with the hopes of making him/her a saint. Now it is for each of us to merely recognize we have forgotten our own magnificence. It feels good to own our unlimited nature, uncomfortable (t say the least) not to. Simple yet not easy.
On another topic I just heard Chopra (thanks Jay) say that hope implies doubt for without doubt there is no need of hope. I always had a question about that so share in case anyone else had a similar question.

Now the dream which was extremely vivid. Since I seldom remember dreams lately and it is hours later, feels important to record.
I hear a noise in the garage. People are in there taking wood. I go out to see what is going on. There are gypsies and they are openly taking what they need and plan to camp on my acreage without permission. I am upset and frightened and ask to speak to someone. No one speaks English until I find someone in a van at the back of the caravan. I begin talking to him. He is not a gypsy but he speaks for them. He asks me what the problem is, saying this is just the way they are, no need for concern. I say but don't I have any choice, they can take what they like?
I suddenly realize we are in motion and are very far from my home. We are in a very barren landscape. It is way too far to walk home and is windswept, without life. The van drives to a house and everyone in the caravan gets out. The house is already full and everyone eats without inviting me or paying any attention to me. I ask to use the phone which I am given. I fear my daughter will be very concerned and afraid. The phone is locked so I ask for it to be unlocked. They unlock it yet the numbers stick and will not dial. I feel very frightened and alone. How will I ever get home?

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