Wednesday, February 13, 2013

PTSD without the P

I've decided many of us are challenged by PTSD without the P, meaning Post Traumatic Stress Disorder without the post, meaning we have gone through a lot of trauma and the fact that the challenges haven't quit means we are not post yet, still ongoing. My sense is this definitely adds to the diligence required to sail through these times.
Sunday was a doozer for me. Reading the next day that I had been right on target with the energies did help:

needing to escape+
intense emotions+

Karen Bishop was saying feeling depressed was de rigour right now. t talked about the need to escape. "It brings an insanity of wreckless abandonment, bursts of simmering rage, instinctual impulses to escape and escape fast, pain, and something akin to the Furies." Monday Feb 11, 2013.
So glad that I fit in yet sometimes it gets old. Been fairly neutral since then with a few little mind benders. Had one good day and miracle this morning. I was in spin mind about whether or not to go on our mini vacation despite ill health. I had kept myself healthy despite my daughter's frequent colds/flu and felt myself wake up all stuffed up. I felt the attachment to my mini get away and finally said, ah, screw it, whatever happens is fine. I then felt my nose clear up INSTANTLY, I KID YOU NOT. I then fell into a profound sleeping beauty type sleep yet still ended up with a wacky day. Just feel off, bit grumpy and totally unproductive. So like I said PTSD without the P. I know, I know, thoughts create so I'll say, yup all that's leaving, thank the Lord.

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