Remembering our loving essence while exiting lala land

I seem to have passed through the latest wave of fear. It was strong and for some hours nothing seemed to relieve it. Yet I must acknowledge that it has been months since I was completely trapped in fear with no memory of my true nature as Love. Yes, it was just a little peep of Presence yet a tiny window reminded me it was temporary, illusion, a lie I was telling myself and finite. This helps!

Here is what I am realizing. I and a lot of other people were looking to 12/21/12 as some magic mythical event. I secretly hoped it would reward me for all my hard work releasing frightened parts of myself with some major dispensation clearing much of the forgetting and blessing me with more total recall of my true nature. Of course, I hoped this would happen to many if not most "lightworkers" or anyone devoted to Love. Then from this exulted position of knowing we would extend ourselves to the next level of beings ready to remember. In many ways, I think that is what occurred. Yet the way I perceive it is as a choice rather than a dispensation. Now I must stay more focused to make that choice. My old habits of sugar addiction and chaos in my environment have definitely been my experience for the last weeks. When people say nothing happened I can hardly fathom it as, for me, the intensity of the upgrade has swamped me in many ways. I sense I am finally adjusting and landing back in Sophia's embrace. I was able to spend an hour cleaning up the debris piled up in my house, clean the bunny cage and even do the wash! Now these were beyond my reach for quite some time. I was wise enough to acknowledge the intensity and cut myself a break so I had no judgment about the mess, just fear that it would not end and that I would again become semi functional.

I just listened to the new year's audio from the oracle report. It confirmed what I already knew; the stakes are higher as those who do not wish us the highest good amplify their attempts to maintain control and pump us with fear. Over the years, I gradually began to question some of the things designed to induce fear. The first time I really got it was when the next major flu that was suppose to wipe out thousands was hyped. I refused to even remember the name of it let alone get some vaccination. I refused to fear for my child (that took more stamina.)  I remember a joke that circulated along the lines of; can't eat pork, swine flu; can't eat chicken, bird flu, can't eat beef, mad cow so might as well eat ice cream!! Then there was the terror alert scale on TV or some such. I have not watched TV in about a decade so I did not have to suffer from that nonsense much yet see enough garbage just opening my computer.

Yet I have had to exit fairy land. Fairy land is where I believe the white knight is going to rescue me. For years it was a man I sought to save me from my feelings of inadequacy, of not feeling capable, of not feeling loved. Well, the dissolution of my marriage cured that one. Yet inadvertently I shifted to some magic energy rescuing me from myself, from my fears and ego patterns. In a very real way they have and are lifting us. There is an astounding energy of love available yet we must choose it continuously. Fear beguiles us with its enveloping web and it takes courage to leave it's sticky grasp repeatedly. I expected great ease post 12/21. In some ways yes. I feel the accessibility of the energy of Love in a very powerful new way. Yet I have had to increase my practices to have the clarity to choose that Love energy. I have a gratitude practice, an embodied joy practice, a meditation practice. Every morning as soon as I wake up I set my intention for a joyful, loving, peaceful day. I surrender to Divine will. I extend an energy field of Love around the globe. All before I get out of bed. I have created a new alter; it is a sand tray filled with powerful tokens of earth energy such as sand, stones, shells, sand dollars and so on. I surround myself with statues of my guides such as Yeshua, Buddha, Ganesh, Quan Yin. I just downloaded paintings of Mary Magdalene whose energy I have recently been connecting to powerfully. I wear colors that lift me. I sit near the sunny side of the deck in silence to absorb Gaia's strength. I constantly read uplifting literature. I go to my Way of Mastery class and connect with high energy people. I move (this one is still a big stretch for me and just in it's initial phase.) I eat natural, whole alive foods which I prepare (this one is still on my cutting edge.) I am using the pillar of light visualization. I only watch uplifting movies for the most part. I constantly allow dark energies to pass through my body. I CHECK MY BELIEFS AFTERWARDS TO SEE WHAT TRAPPED ME. (apparently THEY thought that was worth capitalizing.) In other words, I take constant responsibility for my field of energy, for my state of consciousness.

I bet some of you are thinking, too much work, no way. I know I did. Yet when the choice is crystal clear, as it is for me, love or fear, and the price of both rises daily, the choice is clear and undeniable. Fear feels so devastating, love feel so magnificent, so deliciously home I must do whatever is necessary to stay in that resonance. I know. I too prefer the fairy land where space ships or mythical creature just pop us into the remembrance of Love. I enjoyed my little fantasy while it lasted. (just kidding with the space creatures.) I hope you get my point. The cost of fear is rising daily and the beauty of Love is doing the same. Yes, it takes a tad of effort. Yet is anything else on earth more precious? I'm just saying...

wonderful woman and post which i highly recommend... i might have posted before:

http://www.jenniferposada.com/writings  dec. 23, 2012

also this month's forecast at:

http://www.magnifiedmanifesting.com/energy-forecast 

and

http://www.thepowerpath.com/index.php/power-path-home/the-power-path/monthly-forecast/509-january-forecast-2013