Beloveds,
After nearly a month of being relatively anxiety free and with only minor challenges, I have now had about a week of fluctuating yet fairly continuous anxiety with a number of stressors. As i awoke in the pre dawn darkness, I did my best to feel it and love it yet found it impossible. So then I loved the part of myself that found it impossible to love or make peace with anxiety. I saw clearly how i have felt victimized by my highly sensitive nervous system and nearly a lifetime of anxiety. I was angry at the world to see how my daughter struggles so much with her learning differences. As any of you reading know, i consider it my purpose to tell the truth about my experience. My attempts at loving this feel rather feeble this morning so I will love my feeble attempts. Darlings sending you so much love and the hope that all your obstacle are evaporating when you merely approach them. So much love.
Latter: went back and read Oracle Report and see I am aligned with the energies of transformation. Who knows? Maybe I am experiencing anxiety for the last time, in one final, massive clean up job. sigh...
Ah, helping me shift:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCPQCV8jG9w
as he says, more i see what is going on in myself easier to forgive another and just let it go, no forgiveness necessary
"Who can be imprisoned who simply loves?"
After nearly a month of being relatively anxiety free and with only minor challenges, I have now had about a week of fluctuating yet fairly continuous anxiety with a number of stressors. As i awoke in the pre dawn darkness, I did my best to feel it and love it yet found it impossible. So then I loved the part of myself that found it impossible to love or make peace with anxiety. I saw clearly how i have felt victimized by my highly sensitive nervous system and nearly a lifetime of anxiety. I was angry at the world to see how my daughter struggles so much with her learning differences. As any of you reading know, i consider it my purpose to tell the truth about my experience. My attempts at loving this feel rather feeble this morning so I will love my feeble attempts. Darlings sending you so much love and the hope that all your obstacle are evaporating when you merely approach them. So much love.
Latter: went back and read Oracle Report and see I am aligned with the energies of transformation. Who knows? Maybe I am experiencing anxiety for the last time, in one final, massive clean up job. sigh...
Ah, helping me shift:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCPQCV8jG9w
as he says, more i see what is going on in myself easier to forgive another and just let it go, no forgiveness necessary
"Who can be imprisoned who simply loves?"
I wonder....there has been more solar activity lately, tho not on a direct course to hit earth. I've just been hit with a blast of anxiety, too. And like you, have had struggles with it off and on most of my life. [Partly the "gift" of being an HSP (highly sensitive person)....which also carries some very positive gifts.]
ReplyDeleteThank you Oracle Report! She so often speaks to my own issues.
Big hug to you - let's keep loving as best we can.
Yes, saw there were solar flares and know I am being reactive to things that would normally not floor me as my nervous system is so activated by all the intensity. Know it is nothing "personal." OUCH. Yup, what can we do but hang in there. Thanks for the hug. glad I have so many tools as I see others really taking a BIG hit, all my stuff is minor, just quite uncomfortable.
ReplyDeletep.s. one of the mistake i make is get bent out of shape when my nervous system is getting trampled and my friends are doing just fine. I must accept that we HSP respond differently to these frequencies and not compare my experience to others. I am sorry to hear you are challenged too yet it is reassuring to see the pattern and how it affects a specific group of people in a particular way. xoxooxox
ReplyDeleteJust reread this, perfect:
ReplyDeleteGive up trying to give up! Let go of trying to let go! Allow yourself to not be able to allow at all! Accept your inability to accept! Lose interest in resisting your resistance! Surrender your attempts to surrender!
This is the gentle way, the way of no-way, the way of grace.
- Jeff Foster
Nice! Thank you for your responses. You're right - it is reassuring to know one's not alone in feeling some of this stuff.
DeleteAs the contraction is lessening, I am always amazed to witness the new growth and to realize I fall for it every time in the "it's never going to end, I can't take it" way. Less each time yet that voice of protest is so convincing. It ain't easy being a HSP so luckily it comes with some perks.
ReplyDelete