Wednesday, September 17, 2014

worthiness, gratitude and self love antidote anxiety; remembering soul purposer

I am witnessing many going through the difficulty of anxiety or depression. My challenge has been anxiety yet everything I say holds true for depression as well. Here is what I am discovering. Anxiety attacks the nervous system. When I am in the throes of a full on attack, I forget Who I am. I belief at a primal level that I am inadequate, not up to life, overwhelmed, incapable. All lies yet they seem so real. Then I might blame myself for feeling anxious which entangles me ever more deeply in the quagmire. I realize now I must just ride the wave, knowing as I am witnessing and allowing the anxiety to be there since it IS there, I am already transforming it. When the wave has passed I can then do a mop up job of loving the part of me that falls into this pit. While in the midst of it, when I remember, I can send love too even though it often feels like a lie. Lately when in the pit of anxiety that love felt like trying to put out a forest fire with some spit yet I know that is not true. This is the way, one I love you at a time. Anxiety and depression attack our sense of self and dump us into the greatest lie ever told, that we are unworthy. TRASH! You are gorgeous and magnificent and the only thing that stops you from having a life that reflects that is you see falsely when you look in the mirror, you see perceived faults, errors  mistakes, poor decisions. Yet remembering to choose love again and again and again and again restores us to the fullness of who we are. Please take my word for it if none of this resonates right now.
At one point I considered stopping writing the blog as I was disappointed my vision of a place for dialogue and support for each other through comments has not yet been realized.  I was also discouraged by not apparently receiving much (thank you B.J.) financial support for my most soulful commitment to spreading the love wave. Yet later I realized the thing I do receive, that keeps me writing for so long, always having this blog family in the back of my mind, searching for the best way to convey the truth of our identify here is that it is required of me. It is my soul purpose and it cannot be denied without me paying a big price. The gift I always receive writing here is knowing I am aligning ever more fully with my soul purpose and that is its own greatest reward. If you have not yet found your soul purpose I suggest you give it some thought. Below are some questions to help you discover that purpose.
The other antidote to anxiety/depression is gratitude  I am feeling very grateful for those who have held my hand in this process of wakening. For Ciela for restoring me to the feeling tone of unconditional love, for my mother Ann who I knew loved me even though she could never say it, for Uschi and Irmgard for holding me through my divorce, for Karin for being my soul partner, for Georg for loving and supporting me for so long, for Matt, Mary, Luis, Lauren and Karl for being my teachers and mentors, for Amma with her loving hugs, for my blog soul family for receiving my words with our family coming from 96 counties which gives me such a delicious feeling of being connected to the whole world, for all my friends and relations who have helped me along the way. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Here are the three questions about soul purpose, regrettably I do not have the source:

There are three questions, or pathways, that lead to your life’s calling. The first is the question, “What would I want to do if I knew I was good enough, could do anything, and already had all the money in the world? I call this the Pathway of Joy. (Follow your bliss). The second is the question, “What pain or injustice is going on in the world that I simply must do something about in order to feel that I’m making a difference.” I call this the pathway of Alleviating Suffering (Follow your conscience). The third question is, “What abuse, wounding, or misfortune have I experienced in my past that I want to heal from, and how can I help others who have gone through or are going through similar suffering? I call this the pathway of Healing Self By Helping Others (Follow Your Wounds).

I am also including some comments from this year's graduation commencement speaker for University of Santa Monica where I received my Master's in Spiritual and Counseling Psychology with an Emphasis on Consciousness, Health and Healing.

The heart of Dr. Holden’s talk resonated deeply with the foundations of Spiritual Psychology—awakening to the Soul’s essence, the innate state of Being where Meaning, Purpose, Fulfillment, Joy, Love, Aliveness, and Freedom are always present. As Dr. Holden explained: “When we forget who we are, we get neurotic … then we experience that myth of inadequacy … . The challenge of authenticity is not to change ourselves … but to change our mind about ourselves … . We’re not a self-improvement project.” Dr. Holden elaborated how the goal of any facilitator is to remind the client or person sharing of their essential nature: “I honestly believe the goal is to remember who we are. To uphold the memory of wholeness is to be able to say, ‘I appreciate that you may have forgotten about who you are and you may have forgotten your wholeness, but I will be a witness of your wholeness … . I will remember for you your wholeness so you can remember your wholeness … . Whenever you think that something is missing from your life—remember, it is probably you.’”

To hear Dr. Holden’s remarks in their entirety, click here.

OMG am listening to this and it so resonates with what I know to be true, I highly recommend it and will write a separate post.

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