Eight years ago I first got clear that my daughter was exhibiting many traits similar to my father who has been my most challenging relationship given my sensitive nervous system and his frequent raging. So much of what I have had to release has come from what arose in my childhood with such a father. So I was less than thrilled when at age 5, I saw how my daughter was also bossy, angry, controlling. Someone suggested to me that the anger was actually mine and my daughter was only presenting my unexpressed anger. I was like, no way. I could not recognize, see, even feel my own anger. Yet as I have restored this aspect of myself to wholeness, released the life long anxiety, seen my own anger and even, very occasionally, rage, my daughter is still very willful yet rarely angry, seldom bossy, all the traits that I had found most difficult. As I came to peace with her behavior and owned my side of it, those characteristics evaporated. This is something to truly give one pause. I just saw a short clip about family constellations and how members of this generation can carry charges from previous generations trauma. Something to really consider before we blame a member of our family for something we don't like. I have been eating projections non stop lately and continue to be surprised how hidden they can be. I am no longer occupied with cleaning the closest in my home, back to cleaning the inner closets. I am sure my daughter is very relieved.
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