I say YES

I wrote this in response to many I hear questioning if anything is really happening and if it is worth it, this journey back to Love. For me it is a resounding YES as I contrast my life now, despite the numerous existing challenges, to my life say a decade ago. This is relative to the phase I am in, I know. Yet even in my worst times I maintained a flicker of hope and knowing the prize was worth the journey. If you are in the second wave of ascension, I hope this lends you a little courage to go on:

I really thought about the question of how this has or has not been worth it. Now I must give a little background and say I slept about 12 hours last night (miracle) yet I have KNOWN this for awhile. Just my two cents yet what I have gained through all this anguish is so precious I literally cringe at the thought of going back to the old ego dominated me. She could often be cold, sharp, controlling, pushy, thoughtless, unconscious. This after devoting my life to consciousness. I am a licensed therapist and have a gazillion workshops under my belt. Yet despite my best efforts- and man oh man was it effort, i was still spewing projections all over the place. The area that was the most painful was how I could project on my daughter. I was conscious enough sometimes to know I was doing it. EXTREME PAIN. So here is what I have gained to date: about 90% anxiety free, very little conflict in my life, harmony at home and with others, frequently open with “strangers” and friends, sometimes experiencing joy, a sense of Home, inner freedom, expansive feelings of Love sometimes. I read some autobiographical books by May Sarton and I thought OMG, this woman worked her ass off to get free and the times were just too dense for her to get there. I didn’t read her last books, maybe she did. I felt such a wave of gratitude to live in these times, where freedom, peace, LOve are increasingly available and possible. So when my overwhelm wants to sweep me away, I can consciously chose, again and again, to dive back into acceptance. Yea it has been a bitch, yea I have thought i couldn’t take one more second numerous times, yea there has been so much loss. Yet for me I have such waves of gratitude to be alive NOW and to have the taste of freedom in my mouth. I sure hope I am not in duality here, this is not to negate in any way anyone else’s experience because they aren’t kidding when they call us heroes. Mama mia, we all deserve planetary celebrations and parades for our incredibly hard work. I see us all being properly rewarded all in good time. So I am going to stick with my YES and pray these words might lift even one person. I send you such love from this almost hot day on my deck in northern California. May we all find the courage to keep going.