trying, making, creating

I HAVE BEEN SITTING WITH THE QUESTION OF HOW TO RELEASE TRYING. I KNOW THAT TRYING COMES FROM EGO AND IS NOT EFFECTIVE. I SEE HOW TWO AREAS OF MY LIFE ARE GREATLY IMPACTED BY THIS TRYING, MY FINANCES AND MY SPIRITUALITY, AWAKENING. I SEE HOW I USE TREMENDOUS EFFORT AND I ALSO NOW, FINALLY, SEE HOW THOSE EFFORTS ARE BASED ON LACK, ON NOT SEEING MY OWN WHOLENESS, ON NOT REALLY BELIEVING I AM UNLIMITED. I SEE THAT IT IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. I HAVE MADE HUGE PROGRESS IN RELEASING MY CONTROL/ TRYING FROM MY PREVIOUS EFFORTS TO AWAKEN. I NOW SEE IT IS ABSURB TO BELIEVE I COULD ORCHESTRATE THAT AND FEEL SUCH A SENSE OF A BURDEN BEING LIFTED NOW THAT I NO LONGER TRY, NO LONGER SEE MYSELF AS RESPONSIBLE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. I CAN SURRENDER AND ALLOW THE MYSTERY TO HANDLE IT. I SEE HOW MIRACLES NOW NUDGE ME EXACTLY WHERE I NEED TO GO. I NO LONGER NEED THE BASEBALL BAT TO THE HEAD TO GET IT. NOW SMALL EVENTS CAN SHIFT MY AWARENESS AND CONSCIOUSNESS AND GET ME HEADED IN A DIRECTION MORE TO MY LIKING, MORE ALIGNED WITH MY DEEPEST YEARNING. I WOKE UP EARLY IN THE MORNING AND LOOKED AT MY TRUSTY WAY OF MASTERY. THERE IS AN ENTIRE CHAPTER DEVOTED TO RELEASING WHAT THEY CALL MAKING AND EMBRACING CREATING. I AM ALSO NOW GETTING WHY MATT KAHN SAID CREATIVITY IS SO VITAL. I SEE WHAT HE MEANS WHEN HE SAID CREATIVITY GIVES US MANY GIFTS THAT CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTED THROUGH SPIRITUALITY. I SEE HOW MY ALMOST OBSESSIVE FOCUS ON SPIRITUALITY, WHILE PERHAPS THAT COMMITMENT SERVED ME INITIALLY, IT ALSO BLOCKED ME IN SOME WAYS. I SEE HOW BEING CREATIVE FULFILLS ME IN WAYS SPIRITUALITY WAS NEVER MEANT TO. I AM BEGINNING TO TASTE THE POWER OF CREATIVITY. I HOPE MY EXPERIENCE MAY SAVE YOU TURNING DOWN SOME DEAD ENDS, SAVE YOU FROM WASTING ENERGY AND TIME. WHY THE CAPITOLS ON THIS POST? NO CLUE, JUST HAPPENED. BELOVEDS, MAY THE ROAD RISE UP TO MEET YOU AND MAY YOUR CREATIVITY SHOWER YOU WITH DELIGHT.