Sunday, September 8, 2013

bog fog- stay on target


I have kept vigil, awaiting with baited breath the moment the energies catapult me into eternal bliss on this or that date. I have reached those moments of bliss and bathed in the waters of such love and joy. To be yanked unceremoniously back to the agonies of self doubt and rejection are beyond painful. It feels to me like the cost of separation has huge inflation, doubling almost daily. Yet for the last few days I fell in a mineshaft of such self doubt that I wondered if I'd ever see light again. Snapping turtles gnawed at me, gouging me continuously with a morass of confusion bordering on despair. I began to doubt the whole ascension business and felt as though I had been putting all my trust in Santa Claus and Easter bunny to deliver the goods. What if it is all a hoax and I am left standing in mid air? I felt that the whole process had been too long and I could no longer crawl through one more process releasing my insecurities. My main belief? "This will never end!" I felt I could not toter one more step toward wholeness. I was ready to blow up all ascensions guides and tell them to go mess with another planet and next time have a better scheme in place. I was having a good ole inner tizzy fit.

Here I was and nothing I said, did, prayed, meditated seem to shrink the bog. I was inner toast. So I called out for help from all my guides and told them to make it pronto and super clear, not some nebulous airy fairy peace love tie dye intervention, I wanted them to call out the troops, all hands on deck, call the Marines. At first I missed the answer as it seemed too subtle. I was going through emails on my new computer and it listed them in order, year after year with my sessions from a channel, Asandra. My last  session clicked itself on and started talking. I was about to shut it off when intuition told me to listen to it. It was  a wonderful message from my (new to my awareness) guide Astarte where I was bitching, saying enough already, TOO LONG, I am tuckered and can't drag on. Mind you this session was over four months ago. Here I was back in the same cesspool. She warned me about dropping into such a quagmire and yet here I was. She said it was critical I not allow myself to sink into it. She was quite adamant about it. I wanted to whine in victim, "I just can't do it anymore, make it stop, save me..." but seemingly no such luck or maybe not. I slowly pulled out from my hell bound plummet. It felt like the fog lifted enough I could grope my way out of the bog. The murk is self doubt, seeing myself as limited, doubting my Divinity. Each of us is Divine and right now it requires incredible vigilance to stay on target with that knowing. I know it ain't easy yet my sense it is becoming increasingly vital. If you need support, sign up for an e-course, read a book, meditate, find a friend, go to a wise counselor, ask for help and YOU WILL BE GUIDED!! I promise you the help is there, just open to it. These are not easy times yet the potential reward is stratospheric. If you need to, reach out and I will hold you. We're all in this together and yes we can do this.

I want to share this exchange I just had with Lauren, the creator of Think with Your Heart, a woman for whom I have the greatest respect. Stay vigilant and swoop through your doubts and fears on the white charger of your own unlimited nature. Sending you so much love.

  1. dancing unity says:
    September 8, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    REreading this post brought tears to my eyes. For a few days i was in a state of strong doubt feeling like I was trying to convince myself the Easter bunny was real. This statement is the one I am realizing is the crucial point for me:
    “In other words, regardless of how you are feeling, the challenge is to continually bring yourself back to the center of the polarity spectrum in order to achieve the mental/emotional equilibrium required to transcend that state. ”
    my challenges tend to be emotional rather than physical but same difference. So what I am realizing is no mater how crappy, doubting, afraid etc I am FEELING i return to equilibrium by acknowledging my Divinity EVEN THOUGH I feel freaked, doubtful, despair etc. At least this is my understanding. I remain neutral about my freaked out state.
    So a few days ago all these promised gifts felt like a stranger trying to lure me into a dark alley with candy- they felt poisonous, a trick. Today they resonate as the Truth about our upcoming reality as we emerge from the cocoon. Yipee eyo keya, what a ride!

    1. Lauren says:
      September 8, 2013 at 8:43 pm

      How poignant, and so beautifully articulated. How true that we just have to let ourselves feel what were feeling, without judgment…to BE exactly as we are, in every moment, without trying to change it.
      That is really all that is ever asked of us.

  1. dancing unity says:
    September 8, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    Dearest Lauren,
    Again you bring tears to my eyes. So simple yet sometimes it feels as though to accept my seemingly bottomless pit of self rejection is mission impossible. I know we must all face these inner demons who try to masqueraded as helpful friends supporting us with corrective criticism, just pointing out our inadequacies so that we can survive. To look past all the self judgment and the judgment of the world as we have sat seemingly idle while we worked this huge inner shift, not easy. Yet in this moment I can cuddle myself in my own loving arms, whispering, “it’s o.k., it’s o.k.” These tender moments of such clarity and love are what keep me putting one foot in front of the other. My love spills to you in this moment, with a soothing nectar of surcease.

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