Monday, November 4, 2013

loneliness and wholeness

Beloveds, wow some intense energies. I have a blog percolating for some time yet often have trouble with writing in a monologue, me writing without repsonse. I hope it will come through eventually. In the meantime here is a dialogue with Lauren at about feeling lonely and wholeness. Also I have posted a few new photos from Nevada and Halloween below. Kisses of courage my loves. Big change is a foot for sure.

me:  any thoughts on why so many of us remain isolated? Yesterday I felt such a profound sense of connection, today huge wave of loneliness/ isolation. I am getting out more yet my town is full of at least the appearance of community (who knows what it really feels like yet seems very vibrant.) In the past I use to just view myself as somehow defective. Don’t buy that anymore but ready to break free of isolation mode- enough already. Any clues?
  • Profile picture of ThetaWave
    I agree. Sometimes I feel very lonely even when in a crowd. It is because I think we are spread out for maximum efficiency. Sometimes we get to meet our true family, and when we do it is a truly joyous event.
    • Profile picture of dancing unity
      yes, i just said to a friend who lives an hour away, my closest ”real” friend that despite being on the fringe of 3 communities, none of them feel like my tribe. :( this evening I am so ready to reunite. i have moments of such joy with ”strangers” yet I am ready for on going intimacy and connection. I am blessed to have world wide friends and my daughter but am ready for adult community in my physical location. Enough with the waiting. REady to be with my whole family!!!!!!
  • Profile picture of Lauren
    I agree with Theta…we are def all spread out as anchors to ground the crystalline matrix, but I am assuming this work is done and we are free to join with like-hearts in the physical world as soon as our biology is complete in its transformation.
    From what I have been receiving, we will join with each other in the co-creation of the new world beginning in 2014…but the rest of 13 is for us to tidy up and get to know our new selves.
    I know for myself that the more Source energy I can hold in my body, the more desire I have for physical, resonant relationships…but most times I can’t even sustain a relationship with myself, let alone uphold a friendship. 8O
    I can feel that changing tho…
    The PHC just popped thru to say this: ”True heart-resonant relationships depend on the whole of who you are…until you are whole and complete, you will continue to draw relationships that reflect the parts of you that are INcomplete.”
    Back to wholing we go!
    • The PHC just popped thru to say this: ”True heart-resonant relationships depend on the whole of who you are…until you are whole and complete, you will continue to draw relationships that reflect the parts of you that are INcomplete.”
      WOW !!!
      thank you Lauren !
    • Profile picture of dancing unity
      Thank You Lauren,your comment was just what I needed to wake me up to the projection here. Yes, the closer I come to my own wholeness, the more I yearn for connection with like minded loved ones. YES, THAT IS MY TRUE YEARNING YET WHAT I REALLY GET IS that more so, it is a thermometer showing me I am not yet cooked into wholeness. I now realize last night I was feeling very dark and alone. What I was most yearning for is my own support, my own love and wholeness. I read in Sara’s blog how she was learning to rely on her own Presence to sustain her and the green eyed monster of jealous started throwing darts at me: Why aren’t you there yet? Why don’t you feel your own love holding you? When will you ever fulfill this greatest desire? You are behind, get with the program! I allowed myself to judge myself and criticize my progress. I allowed the external darkness of that cold and cloudy night to fill me with regret and doubt. I was falling into a chasm until I remember MAtt Kahn’s words and told myself, ah, this is what is arising in the moment that needs my love. This part of me that feels it will never be whole, never be self loving totally is now here to be embraced and loved by me. I finally calmed down enough to sleep. AS I write these words tears leak from my eyes as i feel so strongly their truth, just another layer needing me to love it back into wholeness. I send you and the PHC a huge hug of gratitude for helping me get the slap (ok kiss) I needed to wake up out of the trance of separation and to know I am right on target, just healing the next layer of internal separation arising to be wholed. And God knows I don’t need to be attracting incomplete relationships anymore. Thank heaven I can see that trap and not fall for it again. I no longer wish to attract anything from lack, been there done that, got the T shirt and can say no thanks. Back to the inner drawing board. I truly am so grateful for your response showing up miraculously to support me in returning to the Truth I know. And yippee for the heads up that those delicious relationships are in the not too distant future! That is just the icing on the cake. Sending so much love.

      Lauren replied 1 minute ago
      so glad it helped…and kudos to you for loving another part of yourself back together!
      Life is such a mirror trick…and Source is insistent that no matter how badly we think we ’need’ our LOVE externalized, we can’t manifest it UNTIL we are whole, until we realize that WE are all we need.
      • Profile picture of dancing unity
        Fallen into that hole so many times I am about ready to just to walk around it and be whole. I still get a kick out of those two words and say I am just a mere ”w” away from being whole instead of falling into the hole. Life is a mirror trick for sure and luckily I am seeing the trick more frequently and getting the treat of inner freedom. Yup, what a ride! We are all we need, we are all we need, we are all we need, repeat 30X and call me in the morning. I will take the prescription, knowing eventually the medicine will stick after releasing all the layers and I am continuing to trust they will arise in Divine right timing. Now the other trick is to continue to allow without sabotaging myself with resistance or judgment. Luckily I am almost completly done with those two poisons.

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