tears of homecoming

I have just returned from a relaxing week at a spa with natural mineral hot springs. I feel very blessed as those healing waters soothed my tired body and helped integrate all the physical shifts this ascension process is working on my body. I had a day that was quite challenging (maybe another blog) and I had a few hours of the most significant awareness popping into my consciousness. (also another blog perhaps). So to my point. I again had what I call bleed throughs to my new reality. The feeling tone of my future which is simultaneously my now is SCRUMPTIOUS!!! I feel that in the past I must have been some type of water creature as I find the sound and experience of water to be so soothing and stabilizing. Our room was near a waterfall and I sat in awe listening to the splash of the dancing water. The hot mineral water soothed me in the fluids of rebirth. As I listened to the waterfall I jumped to a parallel or future reality where I lived near water on a more permanent basis. I felt a flood of joy sweep me as I felt this probable reality enter my blood stream. My family life was as I have always imagined it, filled with laughter and love. My heart felt expanded to encompass multiple universes. Tears of joy washed my cheeks as I touched the reality of this life. This future self beckons me with her joy and certainty. She sends me waves of support and confidence that all is and will be well. She holds me so tenderly until I catch up to my joy. Ah, how can describe the sense of homecoming it brings to me, of finally arriving at the place I have always belonged?

I met my daughter for the first time in a home in Guatemala City. She arrived about an hour and a half later than planned and my heart was about to burst with nervous excitement. The whole time I waited I repeated a mantra to keep myself from freaking out, “God in me, me in God, are One.” When I first met her I looked into her eyes and felt blank. I had anticipated this moment for so long and I felt frozen. She was covered in fur from birth but my then spouse told me she had some rare and permanent condition that would keep her looking like a baby gorilla. (wrong, only protective fur from birth) I kept staring into her eyes until I felt myself fall, fall, fall. I can only describe it as falling into heaven. I was in bliss. I began to cry and cried for days. I would say nothing except I would not leave her. My poor spouse kept saying “what do you mean, what should I do?” We ended up changing our flight to stay longer, against all practical considerations and eventually returned until the adoption was complete. I had various theories on why I couldn’t stop crying yet the other day it came to me in a flash what was happening. It was tears of recognition. I recognized my daughter. She carried the sense of home for me. I KNEW HER!!! We had been separated for so long and had finally found each other again. I KNEW we were meant to be together. I knew our relationship would be amazingly powerful. I KNEW I had restored another piece of home to myself. The tears were tears of recognition. Then, as now, I KNEW/KNOW I was/am on my way Home.