Saturday, June 22, 2013

thoughts on parenting, money and value

again, some of my comment from TWYH. Feeling very informal here, just sharing current musings:

... To me it has been clear for a long time that there is something way off in the way we define parenting, making the parent responsible for the child in ways that don't make sense. This to me is a recipe for disaster. Yes, we must care for them, provide for them, love them. But take full responsibility for their behavior doesn't really seem legitimate or feasible. Hear me out. I almost didn’t take the licensing exam to be a therapist after a 10 year effort because I could no longer stomach the legal responsibility I was mandated to have for my clients. It doesn’t work. I took the exam yet only had two therapy clients after passing. It is way too heavy to even considered taking on another’s issues with a sense of responsibility. No way Jose. So luckily I discovered Cellular Memory Release soon after where it is all about returning the client to their own responsibility and power. I love how Lauren says it is our presence that will be the new teacher, nothing else. I am certainly coming to that as again anything else feels too heavy. So back to parenting. Same deal. I lost my marbles a few days ago with my child. I realized it came from two points. First from judging myself as a bad parent if she does something socially unacceptable like be "rude.". Then projecting my hatred of being human and flawed on to her.  My point being there is something flawed about the concept that we held accountable for our children's behavior even when these children, are so strong willed and self determined as the new children of the now. I don’t know what the answer is yet, I just see the question.
 Then I have been sitting with the link between money and value. Somehow I was born with the ability to live without the attachment that I must work for money. Now this has been an incredible blessing. It took me awhile to shake the cultural myth but once I did I was off and running and have lived without “work” for 25 years, often quite lavishly for my taste. Yet I have never made much money from my own work. I made it through being smart and unattached but not from what I truly value about myself and my own wisdom. So that is my sense of why my $ flow has slowed way down. Time to receive the energy of money through offering my beingness to the world. Feels like mission impossible to believe that the thing that is most true about me, my ability to be more than to do, can ever generate income so time to let that bad boy belief go. All of it comes down for me to actually enjoying being human, enjoying the whole bloody ride and not taking it seriously. That is not my experience in this moment yet I am seeing down the road to KNOW this is what can and must be for any of this to make sense. Looking forward to that upcoming reality of loving being human on this planet. Loving when I am in rage, upset, exhausted as well as when I am loving, wise and fun. That’s where the action is for me. 

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