Monday, June 3, 2013

the power of self love

Two big awarenesses dropped in. Again I have to steal my unedited comment on TWYH. I am feeling subtle yet major inner shifts for the better. YEA! Will see Amma tomorrow. YUM!

Two big awarenesses dropping into my heart. The more I work with my projected upset with my relative for calling me an irresponsible numbskull the more I own that was my own stinkin'thinkin'. I saw a not so well made yet sweet DVD yesterday maybe called Bonds of Love? with Treat Williams about a man with an IQ of 58 who married a women who had had a very traumatic life with lots of emotional stuff. It is based on actual events. His family tried to legally forbid the marriage and the doctor asked the woman why she would want to marry a man with such problems, She said because he loves me. He was always telling her how beautiful and amazing she is. Made me realize how often I tell myself the reverse and I had tears in my eyes in my yoga class as I kept kissing myself. I felt such love and appreciation for myself and such sadness at my own self judgment. How critical it is that we love ourselves and refuse to speak one word, think one thought against ourselves. Our love has such amazing power for healing.

The second is how I have made myself a puppet to money. I spent 2 1/2 years intensely releasing my need for other people's love once I saw what a puppet I was to that need. It was the hardest thing I've ever done and I had spent 2 decades gearing up for that transformation. Yet I did it at about 90% level and what freedom. Saw today how I've done the same with money, made myself small and kow towed to it. I see how I have given it power over me and it is so engrained in our thinking about survival I can hardly even imagine it is possible not to be a slave to it. There is no end to the need for money, no safety there, no security because whatever you do, it can be yanked. There is no freedom there: investments can go down, $ can be stolen, you can be fired, literally no way to be safe if one depends on money for living. This is why so many of us have been hit at the most basic level, health and money, to wake up to the fact that we have been giving out power away and seeing ourselves as limited by being puppets to a power outside ourselves. WE must claim our abundance and health as an inner knowing otherwise we are slaves forever. I am ready to claim my freedom. Lightworkers unite! Actually I am also seeing it is time to stop identifying as a light worker, for me has it's own limitations. I am "just" me. Me or I is everything, there is nothing more, beyond the totality of my I AM. 

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