bored

Wow, I don’t know about you but for me it has been INTENSE. Little sleep two nights ago, interrupted sleep last night and slept through the alarm, again. Was caught in a downward spiral for six days. Finally woke up to the pattern being cleared. It is indifference. On Monday I was extremely bored for five hours. Sounds small I know but it was so intense. I can’t remember the last time I was bored and for those hours boredom was all that existed. I could not make myself do anything, I was totally unmotivated. I was cursing this whole ascension business and ready to throw in the towel. It had built up from Friday where everything I did was blah and meaningless. Despite some nice activities, I could have cared less about anything and everything. Nothing pleased me, I enjoyed nothing and no one. Like usual, I thought it would never end and I was blind within it. Yet Monday evening there was tiny movement, by Tuesday I was pleased to enjoy the sun listening on my neighbor’s pond and his emerald green pastures. By Wednesday I was able to recognizing I was in the midst of an upgrade and that I was being restored to greater wholeness. By Thursday I was able to remember that one week before I had been in joy and two weeks before, in bliss and profound gratitude as I reawakened my childlike innocence and vulnerability.  I was able to entertain a tiny bit of hope and caring. By midday I had an extraordinary experience when I bumped into a friend and supported her in the most magical transformation within the blink of an eye. I was on a cloud as I recognized how much had transformed within me and how much more strongly I could connect to the Field. I see that practical strangers hug me, distant acquaintances greet me as their long lost sister. Something is definitely on the move. I write this rather incoherently as my brain is still fogged from sleep deprivation but what I know fully remember is that I am glad all this intensity is underfoot because to return to who I was ten or twenty years ago would be excruciating. No way. Yea, it is beyond tough sometimes yet I can again witness the gain is worth the price of admission. To have my heart opened to the love and sacred unity is to come Home to somewhere both so familiar and, at times so achingly far away. Let me hold that for you my darlings if your eyes are clouded by grief or loss. Hold my hand and know I am with you, TOGETHER WE SHALL BE RELEASED.