Monday, January 6, 2014

vanquishing the monster

I am still amazed at how oten I can forget to turn and face what feel like the biggest monsters to me. I felt the monster of scarcity breathing down my neck for several weeks, gradually building in intensity, throwing down gauntlets of fear, until I experienced mild panic. I could not talk my way out of it, reason with it, hide, escape. Been there tried that. I still scratch my head at how long it takes me to cartch up, face the fear, feel it AND LOVE THAT.  I have been professionally trained and guide others for years, and i forget! I realized yesterday it is like I am in a trance and can not find my way out.  Luckily a conversation with my dear friend Karin helped me wake up to my own lies, to the unreality of my fears. I was able to see my negative self talk and beliefs in limitation in a whole new way. Nothing like a little pressure to get my attention! Then in the middle of the night I woke up and remembered Matt Kahn's instruction to love the past of myself that felt such scarcity. It was such a tender moment as I truly had conpasssion and love for this part that has dominated me for so long, despite so little cause, with deep fears of scarcity. I fell into the most profound, restful, deep sleep and woke up feeling renewed. So many synchronities and dreams, yes mini miralce are unfolding and they help me hold in faith. Such peace pervades me. Increasing sparkles of joy and fulfillment. Ah dear friends, miracles abound. It is indeed a new year.

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