Saturday, January 4, 2014

passing through the ring of fear

I was just erasing 90% of my old emails when I came across this. Feels worth passing on
     Yesterday was my rebirth day. I had spent seven weeks of preparation- exercises, meditations, journaling, reading, etc., to celebrate my re-birthday. I awoke at dawn ( those that know me well will recognize that is already the first miracle) and did my ritual facing the rising sun and feeling myself being bathed in love. Later in the morning I buried my Birkenstocks which have carried me for years, walking so often with footsteps of fear. My intention was and is to walk now in love, leaving fear buried in the earth where it can be transformed. 
     I am feeling a remarkable grounding while at the same time i continue to be swept away by the voice of the ego. But now I am always able to observe myself being swept away which is progress! Yesterday it was exactly nine months since i was dumped into the ring of fear. I just read today in The Way of Mastery that when we are ready, the Universe will support us by taking us deeply into our deepest fear. Well, yes siree Bob, that certainly has been my experience. What I have noticed is that each of us has our own personal repertoire of horrors, worst fears. Others can look at us and say, "Hey, what's the big deal?" but for us we are absolutely terrified. What I read is that that fear, yes that one that just popped in your mind, is also the biggest obstacle to experiencing love in your life. And really, isn't that what we all want? So I've got the good news and the soso news. The good news is that it works, that you have everything it takes when you declare you are ready. The not soo good news is that the ring or fear, or as I prefer to call it, the ring of fire, feels pretty bloody hot. So we have to become fire walkers- it looks hot, it feels hot, it is hot but all we have to do is say cool moss, cool moss and walk across without nary a blister.  I know, I know, it requires tremendous courage and faith but is there any other game in town? If there is let me know asap cause I'd like to play that game. 
     I understand I have one or two more rings to pass through and who knows if i am even all the way through this one. All I do know is that the goodies on the other side are what I have dreamed of and yearned for my whole life. So what, I am going to give up now cause of a little ring of fear- no way Jose!!!The goodies are good and now the ring doesn't feel so hot- maybe cause it is so durn hot outside. Anyhew, this is a word of encouragement- you can do it and the gorgeous thing is you are never alone- it ain't really you doing it anyway. You just have to take that first step into the void and trust you'll be held. We've heard it all before. But I'm not Oprah or some spiritual master, just  a regular GAL FROM NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WHO TOOK NINE MONTHS TO PASS THROUGH some really intense fear to be able to walk away yesterday in feet of faith. Many times i thought I'd missed the trail or was the goof ball who just couldn't catch on to the game plan. I share this with you in the hopes that it will inspire your faith and certainty that passing through that ring is not only doable, it is critical. Plus, don't forget, it's all illusion- O.K. that one didn't help me all that much either.
     One thing that really was shaking my faith was when I intended to create something and the outside world wouldn't show me evidence that it was working- boy, that really got to me. I'd say I had faith and set my mind to creating with the power of the Universe behind me and kapboom- nada. What I have learned is that we have to hold on in those times and double our faith. Believing IS seeing but sometimes there seems to be a little time delay until our faith is strong enough to eradicate the doubt that slows up our creations. So don't let a little time lag throw you either.

      I guess it is like labor pains- they hurt while it's happening but then you get a beautiful baby- in this case your own magnificent self- and forget all about the pain. The other thing that seems critical to me is that IT IS WORTH IT!!! What but love satisfies long term? So a little ring of fear- no big deal. Let's jump together- one, two three,  JUMPPPPPPPPP!!! Ride the wave!! Know that YOU WILL BE CAUGHT AND HELD! with love, savannah

No comments:

Post a Comment