I had an exquisite experience today. A lot of things led up to it and have spun off from it. Yet the moment itself glistens like a precious jewel. I was feeling very emotional. My daughter didn't get out of bed until minutes before we needed to leave for school. The roads were frosty. A warning light came on in my car. Then a beautiful buck leaped from a bush as we rounded a steep curve. I slammed on the brakes, sending my daughter and her backpack flying but seemingly only giving the deer a glancing blow. I burst into tears and couldn't stop. My daughter asked why. "Because I don't like to hurt things," I heard myself say. In that moment a rush of awareness flooded me and it was as though every hurtful thing I had ever done surged back to me. Such sadness and grief.
Then I was at my embodidance class and felt inauthentic with every gesture. I couldn't find my true moves, even with my eyes closed. My body jangled with every false step. My image in the mirror repelled me. And then we went around the circle with each woman following our moves. I felt awkward until it was my turn. Then this purity flowed through my body, connecting me to the universe, to the gods, to Truth. I felt the nectar seep through my body in welcome. Tears sprang to my eyes and I felt a sense of being home, of belonging I can not possibly put into words. My hands soared into the heavens, lifting my spirits.
The homecoming flitted in and out of me. I assumed it was a private moment until a woman thanked me after class, telling me how she too felt connected to the Goddess, to the celestial spheres through imitating and witnessing my movement. Her words dovetailed my experience and showed me we had been truly joined in that moment. Again tears sprang to my eyes with a sense of intimate connection. The moment seems distant now in time and space yet stands as an oasis of awakening and remembering a homecoming that made everything and everyone precious and dear, especially myself. I was HOME after such a long time in the wilderness. I was home.
Then I was at my embodidance class and felt inauthentic with every gesture. I couldn't find my true moves, even with my eyes closed. My body jangled with every false step. My image in the mirror repelled me. And then we went around the circle with each woman following our moves. I felt awkward until it was my turn. Then this purity flowed through my body, connecting me to the universe, to the gods, to Truth. I felt the nectar seep through my body in welcome. Tears sprang to my eyes and I felt a sense of being home, of belonging I can not possibly put into words. My hands soared into the heavens, lifting my spirits.
The homecoming flitted in and out of me. I assumed it was a private moment until a woman thanked me after class, telling me how she too felt connected to the Goddess, to the celestial spheres through imitating and witnessing my movement. Her words dovetailed my experience and showed me we had been truly joined in that moment. Again tears sprang to my eyes with a sense of intimate connection. The moment seems distant now in time and space yet stands as an oasis of awakening and remembering a homecoming that made everything and everyone precious and dear, especially myself. I was HOME after such a long time in the wilderness. I was home.
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