obstacles as wake up calls

WOWIE, ZOWIE KIDS- WE’RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE! For me, almost from day one, 2012 is staking up to be a new world. My guides promised the bone crunching energies of 2011 would end basically on the first day of the new year. While for me there was a slight delay as the first ten or so days of the year were jammed packed with lots of activity for a cave dweller such as I’ve been for the last years, things have changed. Now that I got through all of the activity with minimal stress, the shift has been very noticeable for more then two weeks. Meaning I have almost no stress, no anxiety, no overwhelm and no fear. Especially given the intensity of the last two and a quarter years, this is miraculous indeed. In the final stretch I sometimes wondered if my anatomy and being could withstand what, for me, was extreme physical pressure on my body. I recently began to describe it to myself as the force necessary to create a diamond- perhaps that is the way to reach the new diamond consciousness. 

Now I know everyone’s path is very unique. Yet I have come to a startling realization about my own inner journey. I understood it theoretically, but honestly couldn’t get it beyond the level of thought. O.K., here is what I now know- all obstacles are stepping stones designed to wake us up and keep us on target. In a sense they arise as a red light to alert you to the fact that one is off track, not aligned. I’d heard this again and again, yet I often had the desire to strangle any bearer of this message- my almost life long anxiety and overwhelm have been amongst my greatest teachers. They forced me to dive in to deeper waters early and intensely, never allowing me to become complacent or back out. The intense discomfort of both states kept me eagerly seeking something different, knowing there had to be a better way. Now when the level of fear/panic/terror reaches monumental proportions, it is very challenging to have any feeling of gratitude for the forces that ignite that fear. I know I didn’t. Yet in hindsight I see how each challenge led me infallibly to my next step, my next leap of consciousness, my next opportunity to enter the deeper love. 

I was listening to my old friend Eckhart Tolle recently. I use to lead study groups using his books and often listened to him speaking at the beginning of many of my other classes. Yet I have not listened to him for some time. He was saying how resistance, any pushing away generates more suffering. AMEN BROTHER! I’ll say. But to leap to actual gratitude, no way Jose. My friend use to counsel me to abandon my search when she saw how much suffering my quest seemed to involve. I now realize this is no longer an optional journey. The frequency of our planet is literally shifting and forcing all goo to the surface- anything that is not love, anything that taste of fear is bubbling up from our unconscious, ready or not. Yet as I witness the miraculous energies afoot today, I am glad my old friends anxiety and overwhelm forced me to swim in the waters of transformation early on. I see many going under in the giant waves of energy. Yet now that I am in this peaceful place I can genuinely extend encouragement and a definitive sense that this too shall pass. We must only stay true to our own inner guidance. When we say YES! The rest is inevitable. It as thought a gentle hand (O.K.- not always so gentle) begins to guide us to the next perfect experience that will lead us to exactly where we need to go to wake up. Way of Mastery says each of our lives is the perfect ashram. For quite awhile I had to take that on blind faith and many times I didn’t take it at all rather I SCREAMED AND CURSED THE GODS AND ANYONE ELSE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS PROCESS. My sense is that I have navigated the most intense turbulence and now a gentle nudge is enough to get my attention- I no longer need a sledge hammer to agree to release all that is not love. Yet now that I am seemingly leaving the tunnel,  I can say a profound and grateful- YES!!! to the suffering that forced me to wake up. It is as though a whole new world of magic is unfolding at my feet. The contrast between being awake and asleep is so huge that, even though I definitely wish it had come with more ease, I can honestly say the journey has been worth the price. Feeling myself is so delicious, feeling out of touch with that essence is so painful, I realize I gotta do what I gotta do to reside in that Truth. I no longer have to take this on blind faith. So, my dear friends, if you are currently caught in the turbulence of transformation, may I extend to you some of my faith and trust until you rest fully in your own.