Tuesday, February 28, 2012

up, down and all around


Are the energies shifting wildly for you too? Last Thursday and Friday I took a short vacation to Napa and enjoyed it so much. The trees were blooming in pinks and whites, mustard was painting the valley floor yellow, it was so sunny and quite warm. It was a small slice of paradise and I was SO HAPPY! This was very welcome as it has been a long time since i have been so happy. I often experience peace and calm, but happy has been more rare.
Yet today I feel on edge, uncertain, unable to do as I wish. A certain aspect of myself is bothering me and yet I don't seem able to shift it. I can feel myself want to go into self blame and criticism, control this aspect. I doubt myself.  I observe how I want to make myself wrong, bad. I am sitting with these uncomfortable energies. I have not yet been able to fully embrace them nor am I pushing them away. I am half heartedly allowing them to have there way with me. I go to a wonderful group tonight on Way of Mastery. Often difficult energies that need to be healed come up on this day- lately I have been able to witness this pattern more frequently. Then Wednesday I usually feel exceptionally well. Ah, the dance of life. Sometimes it is the tango, sometimes it is a ballet and other times it seems a discordant free dance of chaos. Ah, to let it all be as it is. My dear friends, may you be in the flow of life and I shall do my best to quit grasping the sides of the river and also jump into the current.

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