We are energy beings- I sense the challenge for 2012 will be to recognize and honor this truth.
I helped my teacher edit his book (Energy in the Cells by Luis Diaz) and he went on and on about how we are energy beings- I tell you the truth, I didn’t get it then. I sure do now. For the past few weeks I have been witnessing and exploring myself as an energy being, seeing where I leak energy, where I gain it, where I am in balance. I re watched the “Celestine Prophecy” movie and have been exploring control dramas in myself and others. I have spent the last weeks deeply immersed in this question of energy , as though I am on a treasure hunt. I want to share what I have discovered. I have been the witness of my own dramas, watching how they play out and I sometimes feel like I am an actor in a film just playing out my lines. When I was in San Francisco, I noticed this phenomena strongly. I would get overwhelmed and go into a control drama either by being angry, by being critical or by withdrawing. I could witness it yet I couldn’t stop it- it felt almost spooky. Sometimes my daughter was strong and didn’t react; other times she did react and the energy cycled down. Same thing the other way around although less often she would be grouchy and then I would either catch it and pass it on or not. It has been a real eduction. O.K., here’s the information about these dramas from the book Celestine Prophecy and some blogs on the subject.
Some info on control dramas:
“The Four Control Dramas from the Celestine Prophecy
The Celestine Prophecy’s 4 Control Dramas
The sixth insight states that childhood dramas block our ability to fully experience the mystical. All humans, because of their upbringing, tend toward one of the four “control dramas”: intimidators steal energy from others by threat. Interrogators steal it by judging and questioning. Aloof people attract attention (and energy) to themselves by acting reserved or withdrawing. And poor me’s make us feel guilty and responsible for them.
The above description from James Redfield’s book, The Celestine Prophecy, defines four ways that people are in relationship with one another. All are attempts to control another’s behavior. What is this need we have to control? Why do we feel it is necessary?
We attempt to control and manipulate others because we believe that if they would change their behavior we would be happy and so would they. When people do things we don’t like, or when we’re not getting our way, we think they are wrong. Then, believing we are right and they are wrong, we think that we have the right to impose our beliefs on them. What we are attempting to do is protect our beliefs. How does this play out in a relationship?”
So my first control drama was as a victim in reaction to my dad’s intimidator and my mom’s aloof. I cried for years. I finally healed that and moved on to intimidator- controlling and being bossy. I started to recognize that one so tangoed over to being an interrogator, being critical and constantly belittling with questions (my poor wasband caught that phase). Well, my wasband woke me up to how much that didn’t work so I switched to aloof and withdrawal with my daughter. To tell you the truth, it seemed pretty harmless to me compared to all the others. I couldn’t really see any damage even though I know I suffered from my mom’s constant emotional unavailability. I just started looking at this one recently. My daughter told me the other day it is harder for her when I am present for awhile and then withdraw. She said it is easier for her with people who are consistently withdrawn- that got my attention.
So when I first recognized this one, I feel into the blame game, blaming someone for not giving me the attention I wanted. Well, like all the others, I quickly got called to order on that one and had to eat my humble pie. Last night I re watched the movie “Inception.” It helped me realize when we get caught in these energy wars, it is like we are caught in a dream- we are caught in a misperception about our basic nature. We believe we are not complete by ourselves so we beg, borrow or steal energy from others. So here is where I am today. A friend on the site (http://www.radharaniblossoming.org) said it best so I’ll quote her,
Jenn said, “When two people, are standing in their own truth, then magic happens. There is love and support...without conditions put upon them. It's a natural flow. And it isn't draining for either person. Even during hard times, and times of trouble...them being there for each other raises vibrations and energy for BOTH people in their interaction. That is truly being loving, giving, supporting.”
This to me is where we are headed- where we extend love and receive it back. I sense it will begin between two people and extend out from there. What I am getting is all the control dramas have arisen from energy shortages. When we are whole and complete, it will be our great joy to extend and receive love thus cycling the energy ever higher. With the control dramas, we take, demand or withhold energy and the energy sinks.
We have all had the experience of being in love and feeling incredibly energized with each person giving and receiving so much love. The challenge starts when the energy falls out of balance and we see the other as our Source of love, of energy. We forget the Source is within, the Love is within just waiting to be shared. Then blame, control, victim, withdrawal occurs. At Christmas I had the good fortune of being in complete energy balance first with my wasband for five hours then with a friend and with my daughter for another 7 hours- 12 hours of social contact which normally would leave me feeling like a wet noodle. Instead I felt incredibly energized and alive. This is what feels good to me. This is where I say a giant