freedom

I am sitting on my deck admiring the glimmer of raindrops on trees. In my body I am experiencing the most incredible peace and sense of expansion. I feel so much gratitude (and bloody relief) that I wanted to share some good news. I recently experienced a particularly challenging passage. Yet I read my last post and can barely remember who wrote it. The marriage to my self is finally truly sticking and is now my authentic priority. So much awareness is flooding in about how, in the past, my anchors were always within someone else. Then when that someone, who ever I had assigned the role to, stopped filling my emptiness, I would blast them, manipulate, dance, scream, trying to get them to keep filling me up. Yikees! Life gave me the opportunity to face one of my deepest fears. The shock of that blasted me into this new awareness, this new commitment to my relationship to myself. I wouldn't wish the pain I experienced facing that fear on anyone- except me. Apparently I need that level of pressure to "get it." So I say Yes! For now, it is my embodied experience, at least for today, that I am the one I have been yearning for. More later, for now I want to bask in my own company.