birthday- viewer warning, not cheerful so read at your own risk

Today is my birthday and I sense a turning point for me. I turned the age both my parents died at, so the number had a big significance for me for a long time. Now I see it as a demarcation point of my rebirth. My parents lives both ended for them in this year. I sense mine is beginning.

I can’t remember how much I have written here about my attachment to gifts as symbols of love yet I have been aware of this and attempting to heal it literally for decades. When I recognized how powerfully presents spoke of love to me, as the only time I knew I was loved as a child, I came to understand the incredible load I had put on my birthday and on presents. I vowed this year to end that attachment. I vowed to release my expectations and I have largely succeeded. I had a number of invitations for today and have had the courage to turn them down. This is something I must face alone. I did go to my dance class and have received wonderful hugs and good wishes. I had a wonderful conversation with a young friend, got a few surprise gifts. I had planned a solitary birthday picnic at the river yet feel too sick still to do that. So I am sitting on my deck with a lot of uncomfortable feelings. I feel quite unwell physically and suspect I had high fever yesterday. I had trouble sleeping. I woke up at 1:11 am and looked at my computer to read about burning away the ego. I was finally able to stop resisting how ill I felt and paradoxically fell into a deep sleep and my fever seemed to go down.

I took food to my daughter’s teacher who just had a baby. This was symbolic of reversing the need to get on my birthday. I did a ritual at a little creek releasing all that no longer serves me and embracing what I wish to pull in. I will do another one on the land burying the defended aspect of myself. 

In case you are wondering, no one entered my contest yet I still get the gift of having attempted to bring more love to our planet. I have done many things differently this year. I am truly touched by the drawings and love notes my daughter gave me. Yet I have made no progress in one area- expectations that I should be happy and enjoy this day.  I no longer feel on the total edge yet I am surely not happy. I feel a deep sadness that boarders on a profound fear that I am just not cut out for this world, that my sensitivity and how easily I become overwhelmed will plague me all my life, that despite all I have transformed I won’t make it to the finish line but will poop out just short. I am not a happy camper. I feel discouraged, ill, sad. I feel like this will never end. I am sad to share such sorrow with all of you and potentially pull some of you into a dark mood yet this blog for me is about truth and this is what is true for me in this moment. I have been in a difficult place for well over a week now and combined with the over two years of such intense transformation, I just feel plain discouraged. Wish it were different but it is not. I am truly grateful for all those who called and offered me love and support. I am deeply touched. And yet, I am still sad. And so it is.

I did receive a few gifts and I can say for sure they don’t begin to touch the gifts of love and care I was given. They pale in comparison which is definite progress! I see directly that only love truly matters to me and I feel so thankful to have so much love in my life. I know I have made progress finding the source of Love with me. Unfortunately I am just not in touch with it at this moment. This to shall pass.

keeping energetically balanced

Here's another great one sent to me by Hein; again regrettably I don't know the author but I think it may be Blossom Goodchild:

Like A Glove

We do not know about you (well, technically We do), but things have been rather intense on Our end. Much background/foundation work has been accomplished over the past few weeks. It is quite remarkable really.

So much has been happening in the invisible/energy realms. Most of you sensitives and intuitives out there surely have noticed something... Truth be told, it was sometimes nearly impossible for you to figure out exactly what was going on. It was that intense... and felt so personal at times.

If you simply followed your intuition and your body wisdom, flowing through the various conditions, situations and events went a lot more smoothly than if you tried to understand or analyze everything.

Situations like waking up peaceful and refreshed, then at one point in the day, sensing a "click", like an invisible being turned up the intensity dial at home, work or elsewhere and suddenly, you were bombarded with tasks to do, problems to solve, situations to deal with and so on.

Or feeling that click as you prepared for bed. Then you either have a rough night (waking up to go to the washroom a million times, inability to fall asleep...) or wake up with a migraine and/or nausea for instance and you wonder how you will be able to make it through the day.

Both of these circumstances and others like it were catapulted in you reality, but before reacting to them in any way, We have some background information of Our own We would like to share with you.

The information is there for you to use or to disregard. What you bring into your reality and how you perceive that reality is always your choice. You make the call. We are simply providing an alternative view of this life on Earth based on how We experience the universe and all that is. 

The service workers have been quite active settling, clearing and moving the energy and building that foundation. A lot more than they would have liked, because there is much resistance and interference. 

All you need to know about the service workers is that they exist and that they lay strong foundations. That it as far as We will go with this, mostly for you to follow the flow or assistance, intuition and guidance if you feel a soothing and comforting presence that you cannot see with your physical eyes.

If you feel ready to pursue your own personal work and growth and you feel surrounded by love and support when you are completely alone in a room, trust that your call for assistance has been answered. It will guide you if you let it. But first, you must trust it.

Also know that you have your own work to do. The background service workers simply have laid the foundation for you so you have something concrete to build on.

And whatever name you give that invisible assistant, know that it is simply there to help you connect to your higher self/soul.

It is merely a bridge, a connector. The work is for you to accomplish. You are the one that has to establish contact with your higher self/soul (whatever that means for you) on your own. Then get to work. 

The right human teachers, healers, collaborators will show up at the perfect time as you pursue the work. Trust is about letting go of control. About allowing things to unfold naturally. Still, you must act on that trust to get any "result", even though you do not always see them. That is what intuitive work is all about. And that intuitive process is accessible to all... who trust it.

Establishing that relationship with your soul/higher self will help you learn to love everything that you are and that you have been. It helps you rely on that intuition of yours with more confidence. It helps you trust everything that you know in your heart and soul is true and real and right - even though you cannot always see or prove it. It helps you thrive in ways that have always been possible, but rarely taught. 

As you nurture that sacred connection with yourself, that trust in yourself,  your intuition will open up new doors. You may start to associate elements that seem mismatched, but are actually interrelated; to uncover solutions where none seemed to exist; to get closure; to ebb and flow through life with ease and grace. To be happy and bring joy to those around you, to the world. To make a difference Here on Earth in the way only you can.

Each and everyone's journey is different. It is a sacred relationship with the self that must be guarded and protected. 

Share wisely. If you are ever uneasy about sharing something magical or personal that has happened to you, then it is best to keep it to yourself. 

You see, everything is energy and when you exchange experiences, you give and receive so much more than words. You are also sharing of the energy attached to that experience. Energy ripples like a stone thrown into the sea through all actions and words. 

Such conversations can triggers situations/events you or the person(s) you are not ready for. It can activate things in you or in others that none of the people involved were expecting.

When the right connections are shared in your daily life, it can lead to beautiful things. We are specifically talking about your personal soul/life journey here.

Distortions can occur when you divulge journey information you should cherish and protect. Such sharings may lead to people seeking you out for their own journey. At the invisible level, their unconscious self may either attempt to retrieve something in you they believe is theirs or have you do their work for them. 

This can have disastrous effects on a personal (and larger) scale, causing needless enmeshments or boundary violations. Not necessarily in the moment - even though you may feel tension or unease in the pit of your stomach - but certainly in time. We have touched upon this in the past. 

These things are not always visible at first. Some "falling outs" can occur after oversharing incidents, especially if that type of exchange is spread over many months. 

Such "transgressions" do serve a purpose, if only a reminder of the importance to protect that sacred relationship with your soul and life journey. Just take the lesson, the wisdom from this road block, then release the rest. You are here to learn, are you not? Sometimes falling down is the prize. See it as an payment for the gifts of wisdom you receive. 

The key is to only pay for such precious "items" once. Remember that most of the times, you have no idea how you will receive the lessons you signed up for before you came here. Once you have acquired the lesson, release all parties involved of any shame or guilt. That oversharing served a purpose. Be grateful for that experience, you gained something extremely valuable.

It is the best way for you to guarantee that you truly get the teachings and for others to get them as well. Still, others make their own choices and see their life experiences in their own way. It is important to value other people's freedom of choice as much as you value your own.

Also be mindful of the thought energy you hold on to.

Punishments are in the eyes of the beholder. Taking time in stillness to see the bigger picture may help you see a situation with new eyes.

So, if/when you do sense that "click' and peace morphs into chaos or well-being transforms into discomfort, pause for a moment before reacting...

Then take a deep breath, physically move your body to get the energy flowing again, then scan your body. It will tell you if the discomfort (stress or other unpleasant symptom) is truly yours or if it was somehow sent your way soul-wise by people who either know you can clear energy (because you have done your work) or want to slow you down or stop you. 

The thing is, you have to take the time to assess the situation, to see if what came into your reality was brought on by energy (cause and effect; "unconscious" sending or receiving...) or by something you did (working too hard; too much computer time; unhealthy eating; lack of hydration...).

Then, if you pay attention to your body, it will tell you what you need to restore your inner balance and well-being. The key is to trust it.

Setting the intention for flow, for only processing what is yours to process, for learning only your lessons, for being well and in the moment also helps.

The bodily symptoms and the various "energy shifts" you experience are real. Their source or origin may simply be quite different than what you are used to. The Messenger has been adapting to this "transition" over the past few weeks. 

Just because We are silent does not mean we have nothing to say. Many of the concepts have evolved. There are more layers to everything, and We have adapted to that in the ways We share Our messages.

Things are changing. We are changing with it. We believe you are too. It is a graduation of sorts. But to get the diploma, you have to do the (soul) work yourself. Doing so is not always easy, We know.

Also remember that people may not necessarily aware they are transferring their pain (anger, stress, shame...) you way. That includes you. More and more, things are occurring at invisible/energy/soul realms. It is never personal. 

There simply are links or "strings" you do not see. Some links you have to follow, some cords, you need to cut. Through your own personal work and with the assistance of the invisible helper, you will move through everything. Ask for assistance and trust all the "happy coincidences" that occur. They indicate you are on the right track.

Most of the soul work you came on this Earth to do is about unearthing who you truly are, about standing your ground at a physical, energy and soul level, about being comfortable in your own skin and about having your life fit your being like a glove...

This is All. 

Much Earth Light and Love to Everyone.

oh shit

I am getting crushed today. I am borderline hysterical and the outer problems don't stop- major house repairs and now came home to soaking wet carpets- some leak. I am ready to leave the planet if anybody knows of any departures. Anybody else having such a hard time? Plus I feel sick. I want to jump out of my skin. Lucky I know this will pass but boy am I ready to throw in the towel. I am REALLY hoping after the full moon things calm down. I have been getting emotionally flattened for a week now. At first I liked it as I saw I was healing so much but now I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!
Only good news is my daughter danced the May pole in a lovely spring festival- even that didn't cheer me up. Bah humbug!!!

energy of these times

sent from my friend Hein, good info on these time, I don't know the author but it may be Blossom Goodchild:

The Energy of You

How are you "keeping up" with everything Earthlings? 

It seems quite a number of you are being thrown so many curve balls you do not know where to duck for cover. Protecting yourself has become an exhausting act. 

While everything appears calm and peaceful on the surface, the undercurrents have picked up and become quite strong. 

Much is being done behind the scenes if you will to settle the energy. Well, actually, to calm people down enough so they can clear their stuff and stop throwing it around to strangers and people they love. 

It seems "everything" is being taken personally these days. The majority seems to be reacting in their own way to the permeating energy and underlying currents. Much is being perceived as a personal attack or affront.   

You see, the more perceptive you become of your own being, of your own feelings as well as everything and everyone around you, the easier it is to get overwhelmed. Even those who could tell between their own emotions/ thoughts/ energy and those of other are having a hard time distinguishing between the two. Like the lines have become blurred between what is yours and what belongs to everybody else.  

Well, they have become blurry. So you have to redraw the lines, redefine your boundaries, rediscover how much energetic space your being now takes and so on. 

In other words, you may have trouble reading your own self because of the intense activity happening underground while you are walking on a seemingly quiet surface. Just because it feels like you does not mean it is.   

Much of the chaos and drama is disappearing, but not everybody is ready to let go of it. Even when people are well aware that these elements serve no good purpose. 

As anybody who as ever felt under attack or edgy will know, this feeling can either make you want to bury your issues/pain deep inside (in other words hide or run away from the feeling) or direct that energy at others who know how to clear it to take care of it, so all these uncomfortable feelings go away. 

Anything can and will happen. All the possibilities are out there in the realms of potentiality. The actions of the many and those of the few have an effect on the past, the present and the future all at the same time, but not necessarily in the ways you imagine or have been taught/led to believe .

Sometimes what you feel will happen - positive or negative - does not materialize. While you may be tempted to dismiss your intuition or think it is "flawed" somehow, know that what you sensed was most likely true, it was just intercepted, cancelled, postponed, neutralized or attenuated.  

We are not talking about all the impending doom scenarios that never seem to occur. Those are woven from a different type of thread. The thread of fear, judgement, hate...  

We are talking about your intuition and your inner cues/clues.   

Sometimes you and/or the other party (parties) involved want a different result somehow, and make it so through intent. You send out solutions of your own making. Even if that simply means not showing up to an argument/drama  you were invited to. 

Other times, there are bigger elements at stake. Simply know that there are countless service workers who change or redirect the energy/the concepts at play or respond to the calls for assistance your soul may have sent out. 

The mind is a powerful thing/tool. So are your heart and soul. 

This is an amazing time to be alive. Really.  

Cellular memories that paralyzed you or were harmful to you are being erased/neutralized so you can start anew. You are gaining access to all the treasures of your soul.  

At the risk of repeating Ourself, these are fantastic times to be in body on this magnificent planet Earth! 

But not everybody likes change. Even change for the better. So they stir things up and turn up the familiar drama to keep things as they are. Sitting with oneself and experiencing the good, the bad, the ugly and the great can be challenging, and some are in too much soul pain to be able to do that. So they lash out.  

It's an awkward way of calling out for help, We know. Just hold space for these people in your life if you feel you cannot be there for them physically. If they directed their attack at you, they may not feel comfortable receiving your help. It's not personal... 

To regain your strength and make sure you do not collapse or get sick in these intense times, the key action is to listen to the energy of your body.  

If you've been tired, rest. Stick to the essentials. If you've had trouble sleeping - like the people in your life or some unknown entity has taken over your dreams so you cannot rest - do nothing for 15-30 minutes before bed, and set you intention for the night's sleep before going to bed by stating what you want. 

For instance: I will have a restful night all by myself. No intruders shall interrupt my sleep. Just like the sleeping beauty, I get centuries worth of rest in this one night. (This is just an example to get you started.) 

Your adrenals/hypothalamus may be in overdrive too, so be mindful of what you ingest. One cup of coffee in the morning will not be the death of you, neither will a quad espresso, but one in the afternoon or early evening will just add to your stress. Go for alkaline and non-processed food. Limit your TV, Internet, news intake. Increase your time outdoors, in stillness, with beings who uplift your soul. Stretch, move, be active, and most important, laugh! 

Make a conscious choice to decline all invitations to drama and chaos. Hand an invisible "do not disturb" sign on your being, your house, your office...  

Nurture your being, your soul. It needs time to adjust to these new energy readings it receives.  

Your body/intuition has not been deceiving you... you have been deceived by all the doers and the high society (the different 1 percents of the universe).  

The mind is a powerful thing, some will stop at nothing to make sure people are too busy to be, because all their time is occupied serving an invisible master. 

A wise one you are and always have been. Remember that! 

This is All. 

Be well! Much Earth Light and Love to Everyone. 


(This was also part of the text, but in the form of a reply to someone. She really is my thing, i don't need any other channel.)First of all, most people would never hurt anybody else on purpose. But it happens. Sometimes quite indirectly. Something "the universal you" does/does not do (or say) somehow reaching someone you love through the ripple effects of life. Everything we do has a consequence (or result), and sometimes that end result takes surprising or mortifying turns.

I have come to learn that as human beings, we have many layers, not just the physical one. It can happen that someone's unresolved or sharp soul pain/issues throws an energetic wrench into a situation or a relationship without even knowing. We are so much more than the visible us.

If something trivial in appearance gets an extreme reaction from someone who's usually quite easy going and would never react that way normally to that situation, well, chances are some salt was poured onto an energetic/soul wound. If the other parties involved take the reaction personally, it can get quite ugly. Hence the importance to take deep breaths, ground and scan your energy, the energy of others around you and the energy of the situation before saying anything or even sending retaliating energy. If things get tense or mad, you can simply pause for a moment and set the intention for energy clearing of the entire situation - according to the free will of all. If someone wants to stay angry for the rest of their lives, it is their choice, so you want to let them decide. In turn, you have freedom of association. If someone constantly give you grief, you do not need to spend time with them.

Is energy directing okay? Yes and No
Yes - if it intentional, like sending someone healing or comforting energy in person or long distance, or you are doing just so phenomenally that you are "radiating" good vibes.

No - when feeling in "surcharge" mode, you know, like when one gets an electrical charge at everything and everyone he-she touches because what feels like an unnecessary booster charge was received and everything is too intense. When that happens, sending it to the Earth, either by grounding barefoot or by touching a tree or sitting on the ground, just sitting somewhere by yourself for a few minutes, in the shower, while washing your hands... If you feel overcharged and can't do any of these things, just stand still for a moment, starting at the head down to your feet, feel the overload moving down from the head to your feet into the ground, the floor, whatever. You can also push an energetic "reset" button at the same time to neutralize whatever surcharge you are feelings.

This topic we are chatting about is a little "out there", we (society as a whole, scientists...) are only starting to realize that there is so much more to the world that we have always believed. It's like "inner exploration". A few centuries ago, you had explorers discovering new parts of the physical world, now you have inward and invisible realm explorers. But most of us have been taught to trust only what we see. This is a new twist on "The Earth is flat, no matter what you tell us, we refuse to think that the Earth is anything else but flat" scenario.

So those of us who know/sense/see that there is so much more to the world that what we see, that we as energy beings are more powerful (neutral term) than we were led to believe get the same "warm welcome" than those who told the world that the Earth was indeed round...

the Source of love

So a big Venus transit is occurring culminating June 4th and as I understand it, it is about healing our relationship to love. Well, in my world, everything that is unloving has been showing up for healing. I have been crying buckets, from joy, celebration, anguish, grief, terror, you name it. Yet here I want to discuss the biggest thing that is happening right now for me. It is about being defensive. For the last few weeks, I have had a number of people telling me things about myself, things they are uncomfortable with, things they see in me, yes, even some things I see as grossly inaccurate and unkind, even seemingly things that are either super inaccurate or maybe even lies. Well, ya gotta just love that little trickster Universe. So  I’m sitting up paying attention, asking, what needs healing here? It has happened way too many times for me to miss the pattern. The fact I have done two intensives on holy relationship and one on undefended love in a month has made things a bit clearer. So fortified with that clarity and vision, when the accusations, anger, rage and blame started flying around involving a number of people alI  through the internet site I follow, I was able to hold it very differently than I would have in the past. I was able to be genuinely curious about what others were seeing in me that I could not see in myself. I was able to sort through what I experienced as accurate and release the rest of it. I was able to see it all as neutral for the most part, to remain non reactive and actually open to what was unfolding. I saw what an incredible and delicious gift that neutrality is, how much freedom it gives me. I remember Byron Katie saying she always sought to see the truth of anything critical anyone says about her and to actually welcome it- I was like, no way Jose. But now I am actually in that space of welcoming and boy has it felt good. As this was unfolding, I felt radical change transforming my literal cellular structure. I could feel energy surging through my body. I barely moved for over 24 hours, hardly slept, was very restless and ill at ease in my body. I could not settle but would move from one spot to another, within a very confined space. I felt pressure, tension, what felt like blockages being opened up in energy channels. It is very hard to put in words. I felt heat, jitters, movement. Yet it felt good and liberating. Until today. 

Today I am immersed in a chaotic and confused energy. One person said another did this and that, I asked that person, they said they did not etc. I do not know who or what to believe. I also found myself caught in more judgment. One person came out with a very harsh indictment of another. I judged that judgment. I am very clear about one thing. I no longer want to be trapped in judgment. I did not know how to proceed so I must allow this uncertainty. I also have had a miracle unfolding. A person from who I had an abrupt and very painful separation has reappeared in my life and is explaining to me what happened from his perspective. He tried to tell me as it was happening but I could neither see or hear as I was too caught in my own drama and pain. I am feeling waves of gratitude and love to have this opportunity to heal. I think another big lesson for me is that there are always two sides to every story. I knew this intellectually yet now it has dropped below the level of the mind. Until now, I was totally blind to my side of what transpired. Now I see that my neediness, co-dependency and demands of another person who says he loves me, came into play, one more time. I pray that it is the last time, that I have learned not to have expectations of people, to try to imprison them in the name of love, demanding they rescue me when I yell for help. I am not talking about genuine care and consideration. I am talking about demands. A big test is coming as my birthday was the time I was most demanding and controlling, trying to prevent my gaping wound from arising. I learned as a child to associate love and presents and therefore would crumble if I did not receive gifts. So for over 30 years I trained and demanded loved ones to give me gifts. Last year there was a coup and rebellion and my love slaves revolted, refusing to cooperate with my scheme. This year I am releasing my demands and quaking in my boots as I do so, afraid of the wound that is under those demands. But this time I am daring the boogie man to show his face. I will confront this one dead on. Let it give me it’s best shot. So this year for the first time in over 30 years I have no plans for my birthday. This is terrifying for me yet something I feel I must face. Now luckily everyone knows how wacky I get on my birthday so I have had a few offers which makes me feel so appreciated. And I will do things to celebrate- just not on the actual day. I get what is the heart of the matter- where is the source of love in my life? Is the love I seek external to me or who I truly am? Is love about getting or giving? If I need to get it, that means I don’t have it. If I am it, there is no need to seek. Wish me luck as I slay this inner demon.

Ascension symptoms

Some good information a friend sent- basically all of them fit for me- how about you? Unfortunately I do not have the source yet it may be someone named Blossom Goodchild.

Ascension Symptoms

Know that although our evolutionary process is rapidly accelerating, along with the New higher vibrational energies, we are all experiencing these changes in our own way and in our own time, according to who we are and according to our coding and plan before birth. In addition, generally speaking, our ascension process relates to how we each run our own individual energy, and what our beliefs and experiences are (in other words, how we are wired and how we vibrate). These things can be changed and will also change automatically as we clear and embody more light within ourselves. For the highly sensitive, psychic and those very open to the higher realms, the ascension process can be a bit more challenging.

(Note: Of course, not all of these symptoms can be attributed to the ascension process. Please follow your own inner guidance and consult a health care professional as needed).

*Feeling as though you are in a pressure cooker or in intense energy; feeling stress. Remember, you are adjusting to a higher vibration and you will eventually adjust. Old patterns, behaviors and beliefs are also being pushed to the surface. There is a lot going on inside of you!

* A feeling of disorientation; not knowing where you are; a loss of a sense of place. You are not in 3D anymore, as you have moved or in the process of moving into the higher realms.

* Unusual aches and pains throughout different parts of your body. You are purifying and releasing blocked energy vibrating at 3D while you are vibrating in a higher dimension.

* Waking at night between 2 and 4 a.m. As you progress, waking at 5 a.m. Much is going on in your dream state. You can't be there for long lengths of time and need a break. This is also the "cleansing and releasing" hour.

* Memory loss. Difficulty accessing words. A great abundance of short term memory loss and only vague remembrances of your past. You are in more than one dimension at a time, and going back and forth as part of the transition (you are experiencing a "disconnect"). Also, your past is part of the Old, and the Old is forever gone. Being in the Now is the way of the New World!

* "Seeing" and "hearing" things. You are experiencing different dimenions as you transition, all according to how sensitive you are and how you are wired.

* Loss of identity. You try to access the Old you, but it is no longer there. You may not know who you are looking at in the mirror! You have cleared much of your old patterns and are now embodying much more light and a simpler, more purified divine you. All is in order....you're OK.

* Feeling "out of body". You may feel as though someone is talking, but it is not you. Our bodies are the last to catch up and are not in the same place as the rest of us. In addition, this phenomenon can also occur as it is our natural defense mechanism of survival when we are under acute stress or feeling traumatized or out of control. Your body is going through a lot and you may not want to be in it. At one point, my ascension guide told me that this was a way of easing the transition process, and that I did not need to experience what my body was going through.

* Periods of deep sleeping. You are resting from all the acclimating and are integrating, as well as building up for the next phase.

* Heightened sensitivities to your surroundings. Crowds, noise, foods, TV, other human voices and various other stimulations are barely tolerable. You also overwhelm very easily and become easily overstimulated. You are tuning up! Know that this will eventually pass.

* Dizziness, loss of balance, back and neck pain, ringing in the ears, "gritty" eyes, blurred vision, insomnia, and heart palpitations with difficulty breathing.

*Headaches.

* Crying about anything, whether wonderful or sad.

* Not remembering the meaning of anything.

* Difficulty in remembering what you did or who you talked to a day or sometimes just an hour before. In the higher realms, reality is very much in the moment. If we do not hold something in our consciousness, it simply ceases to exist. We have no attachments. We are creating our own world around us through our beliefs and thoughts and what we do not "hold onto" does not exist. Everything is brand new as we are starting completely over, moment to moment. We can tap into whatever we choose to at any moment and create and experience just that. This state comes and goes, but is practice for living in the higher realms. It can feel a bit creepy when it occurs.

* You don't feel like doing anything. You are in a rest period, "rebooting". Your body knows what it needs. In addition, when you begin reaching the higher realms, "doing" and "making things happen" becomes obsolete as the New energies support the feminine of basking, receiving, creating, self-care and nurturing. Ask the Universe to "bring" you what you want while you are enjoying yourself and having fun!

* An intolerance for lower vibrational things (of the 3D) reflected in conversations, attitudes, societal structures, healing modalities, etc. They literally make you feel “sick” inside. You are in a higher vibration and your energies are no longer in alignment. You are being "pushed" to move forward.....to "be" and create the New. In addition, you may feel like staying home or just being alone as much of everything "out there" no longer matches the higher vibration of YOU.

* A loss of desire for food. Your body is adjusting to a new, higher state of being. Also, part of you does not want to be here anymore in the Old.

* A sudden disappearance of friends, activities, habits, jobs and residences. You are evolving beyond what you used to be, and these people and surroundings no longer match your vibration. The New will soon arrive and feel so-o-o-o much better!

* You absolutely cannot do certain things anymore. When you try to do your usual routine and activities, it feels downright awful. Same as above.

* Days of extreme fatigue. Your body is losing density and going through intense restructuring.

* A need to eat often along with what feels like attacks of low blood sugar. Weight gain (especially in the abdominal area). A craving for protein. You are requiring an enormous amount of fuel for this ascension process. Weight gain with an inablilty to loose it no matter what you do is one of the most typical experiences. Trust that your body knows what it is doing.

(Note: The body seems to need this extra weight for processing and holding these New higher vibrations. In addition, the liver goes on overdrive as it is rapidly processing and detoxing. An overtaxed liver can lead to abdominal weight gain and frequent waking around 3 a.m. (the liver hour in oriental medicine). Liver supports that can be helpful are milk thistle, casual walks, breathing and trusting in the future.)

* Experiencing emotional ups and downs; weeping. Our emotions are our outlet for release, and we are releasing a lot.

* A wanting to go Home, as if everything is OVER and you don't belong here anymore. We are returning to the Source. Everything IS over. (But many of us are staying to experience and create the New World). Also, our old plans for coming have been completed.

* Feeling you are going insane, or must be developing a mental illness of some sort. You are rapidly experiencing several dimensions and greatly opening. Much is available to you now. You are just not used to it. Your awareness has been heightened and your barriers are gone. This will pass and you will eventually feel very at Home like you have never felt before, as Home is now here.

* Anxiety and panic and feelings of hysteria. Your ego is losing much of itself and is afraid. It may feel as if everything is ending (most of everything is!).Your system is also on overload. Things are happening to you that you may not understand. You are also losing behavior patterns of a lower vibration that you developed for survival in 3D. This may make you feel vulnerable and powerless. These patterns and behaviors you are losing are not needed in the higher realms. This will pass and you will eventually feel so much love, safety and unity. Just wait!

* Depression. The outer world may not be in alignment with the New, higher vibrational you. It doesn't feel so good out there. You are also releasing lower, darker energies and you are "seeing" through them. Hang in there!

* Vivid, wild and sometimes violent dreams. You are releasing many, many lifetimes of lower vibrational energy. Many are now reporting that they are experiencing beautiful dreams. Your dreamstate will eventually improve and you will enjoy it again. Some experience this releasing while awake. My mother commented one day that she believed I was having nightmares in the daytime!

* Night sweats and hot flashes. Your body is "heating" up as it burns off residue.

* Your plans suddenly change in mid-stream and go in a completely different direction. Your soul is balancing out your energy. It usually feels GREAT in this new direction, as your soul knows more than you do! It is breaking your “rut” choices and vibration.

* You have created a situation that seems like your worst nightmare, with many “worst nightmare” aspects to it. Your soul is guiding you into “stretching” into aspects of yourself where you were lacking, or into “toning down” aspects where you had an overabundance. Your energy is just balancing itself. Finding your way to peace through this situation is the test you have set up for yourself.

This is YOUR journey, and your soul would not have set it up if you weren't ready. You are the one who finds your way out and you will. Looking back, you will have gratitude for the experience and be a different person.

big energies

Whoa! Mama mia, the energies are on the move! I see a lot of people getting their asses kicked awake. I am one of them. Been going through a huge, important awakening, learning I have no need to defend myself. So people are coming out of the woodwork to say challenging things to me and I am actually learning to appreciate it! Boggles the mind. Anyway the fur is flying.
Here is a site where some of us like hearted beings gather to share our wisdom and challenges:
http://www.radharaniblossoming.org