Saturday, June 30, 2012

worst nightmare

So much is up for me I can't really settle to write yet will give it a try. This week was a wild week. I went on vacation and I notice my ego tends to go into overdrive on vacation, wanting what it wants. Well, nothing went as planned. Most of the things I looked forward to didn't happen. I felt rage and out of control, wanting things to be the way I want them to be so I could enjoy myself. I have been asking myself where joy comes from and I am sure getting clear on where it does NOT come from- getting what my ego wants does not bring me lasting joy. In fact, putting my foot down and sort of demanding certain conditions so doesn't work. Plus my buying addiction is trying to convince me to buy all these pretty babbles to assuage my discomfort and boy is it convincing, swearing to me that if I buy this or that, all will be well. So far I have not succumbed but it has not been easy, the enticement is soooo convincing.  The only thing that actually relives the pain sincerely, is when I move past my demands and guilt into a sinless sense of unity I can not really describe clearly in this moment and then, ah, such a few moments of bliss. So back and forth, sucker punch/bliss/sucker punch.... Below is the ascension symptom (from my post on May3, 2012) that gets me the worst, has me strangling and ready to hit the first spaceship out of here:

* You have created a situation that seems like your worst nightmare, with many “worst nightmare” aspects to it. Your soul is guiding you into “stretching” into aspects of yourself where you were lacking, or into “toning down” aspects where you had an overabundance. Your energy is just balancing itself. Finding your way to peace through this situation is the test you have set up for yourself.
Yup, makes me see red. Everything was driving me nuts. If I could let my ego demands go, I could drop into the most loving, connected space. Yet again and again, this rage arose, leaving me sputtering. So for now, I am lost in the fog of my own worst nightmare- o.k.,not the worst, already lived through and survived a much worse nightmare, but definitely not pretty. 

I am finding it a bit of a challenge to keep the faith, to trust but that will have to wait to write about when my head clears a bit. For now, I must allow and hope, hang on to that tiny thread of faith that keeps my head above water. This up/down yoyo is rather unsettling to say the least. Hope all of you are in better shape than me. Kisses.

Monday, June 25, 2012

pictures and my friend's post from our Solstice ritual

In case any of you are curious about the solstice ritual I attended, here is my friend Kathleen's post about it with some pictures. Enjoy.



https://guidingsigns101.com/blog/

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Joy and the 5th Dimension- time is collapsing- are you ready?

Beloveds,

Again yesterday I experienced the most exquisite joy. Everyone and everything delighted me. I felt so much mySelf, at Home. I was in love with the people in the car ahead of me, wanted to follow them into infiinitty. Of course, that is not exactly what it was like yet a playful way of attempting to touch the joy of that frequency. The inner vibration is so magnetic I am beginning to recognize it can be misunderstood. I realized it as I had a small parade of men following me with stars in their eyes. It is kind of fun yet I am becoming aware I better use discernment here so as not to create false impressions. I am understanding how releasing all the goo is now funneling me into joy.

At the same time, any limiting beliefs will not create fun or joy, rather the opposite. Therefore I am being directed to share with you the critical importance of your thoughts and beliefs as time begins to collapse in on itself. In other words, the time between a thought/belief and its results showing up in your life is shortening and eventually will be non existant. Think about love and joy and voila, it will appear. Yet think about anger and hate and that too will pop into your reality. So there is no delay between you attacking someone in your thoughts and then immediately getting slapped in your own face. So this is a word to the wise- clean up all that no longer serves you, my dears. I highly recommend the article below which will explain it WAY better than I can. (p.s.- I might have posted this before yet even if so, please give it another look).  This can be very exciting and exhilarating if you are prepared. See what you think.

http://the2012scenario.com/2012/01/jim-self-what-do-you-mean-the-3rd-dimension-is-going-away/

Friday, June 22, 2012

Why release special relationships?- recognizing they REALLY don't work to heal our ultimate sense of separation


Special relationships are the ego’s most cherished prize according to the teachings of The Course in Miracles and The Way of Mastery. I spent most of my life healing from this error, learning why they don’t create the desired complete heart/soul connection, answer our most exquisite yearning for unity or heal our ultimate sense of separation- in fact they increase it after the initial euphoria wears off. In the early stage, they recreate the feeling tone of unity, of home so it is no wonder we are so completely taken in by them.  A special relationship is where one views anyone or anything outside of oneself as the source of wholeness, well being or happiness. I understood the concept intellectually for years yet it was only when I saw myself acting like a puppet in increasing agony as my marriage crumbled that I finally had the genuine motivation and awareness to release that addiction. Still I got caught again a few months later in a twisted friendship that hopefully cleared the last residue of the attraction of seeing another as my Source. Now it took decades and years of attention to heal this particular pattern within. As always my primary tool is Presence and the main way I have moved into Presence is with a few tools- The Course in Miracles and The Way of Mastery are teachings I have used I have to say almost religiously. My Master’s from University of Santa Monica, and Cellular Memory Release along with the teachings of Eckhart Tolle were my other primary supports on this journey.
I know several people who are using special relationships as their source right now and witnessing their pain and agony has spurred me to review this topic. Our culture trains and conditions us to believe in romantic love as the perfect antidote to all of life’s problems and the answer to all of life’s pain. Because the holy relationship is the closet we can come to heaven on earth ( according to The Course in Miracles and my own experience) it is very easy to get confused. In holy relationship, one recognizes one’s own wholeness and holiness and joins with another to extend love and man oh man is that yummy. The feeling of being home, of arriving back in the feeling tone of joy, completion, unlimitedness, homecoming is truly indescribable yet delicious beyond words. So no wonder we fall again and again into the illusion of seeking our answers in another. Witnessing the excruciating sense of separation that arises when either things don’t work out or one is separated from that loved one for whatever reason was the catalyst for this post. I recognized how profoundly sad I felt observing a loved one’s pain as he is experiencing this sense of separation. I wondered why it triggered such grief in me. I realized it is for two reasons. First, it is very sad for me to see someone I care about so ardently suffer so extremely. Second, I recognized in a way I had been aware of yet never fully grasped how the special relationship causes people to put most of their attention and energy on that relationship to the exclusion of all others. One of my dearest friends told me how much she appreciated me and desired friendship with me years ago yet sensed (accurately) that I was not really open to a deeper friendship while I was focused on my special relationships with my daughter and husband. I have an acquaintance who is ending her relationship with her boyfriend, not by choice. She had begged me to visit her and I did so. Her soon to be former partner asked her a question and she literally ignored me the whole time I was there, other than to offer me some food. She actually said at one point she could not concentrate while her soon to be ex partner and I spoke together so she left the room! It didn’t bother me other than to be in awe of the power of the emphasis on that relationship even as it is crumbling away. In another circumstance I have realized someone I care about is so intent on a special relationship that he is rarely actual present in the rest of his life. I realized this was the source of my unfathomable grief that day- recognizing how much of my life I missed because of my intense focus exclusively on those few relationships I prayed would “save” me. I also allowed myself to grieve the missed connection with those around me who do not see me because their attention is exclusively trained on their special relationships. I grieved as I recognized so clearly the overwhelming sense of loss. So much of life can pass us by while we are looking somewhere else. I know I can not clearly convey this with words yet I hope you can get a taste of what I am suggesting. In the case of this loved one, I would see his restlessness, his eyes glaze over, his eyes glance past me, not really seeing me or taking me in. What a mirror! I was forced to grieve the millions of times I had done the same and to vow to let it be a lesson I need not repeat.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

good news- we are doing great!


Good news- we are doing great and we are awesome! :thumbs: Heard uplifting audio- almost 2 hours - with Jim Self and all the archangels and masters are pleased as punch at how well were are doing. :dance:

http://awakeningzone.com/Episode.aspx?EpisodeID=1252

No time?


This is one of the best articles I have seen to explain what is happening to time, how it is "compressing" and how the effects of our behavior, thoughts and emotions are manifesting so quickly, positive or negative. It is by a new friend, Jay. The link to his blog is at the bottom. I had fire alarms (no fire) blasting me through the night so too tired to articulate anything further. Enjoy the article.

From slow time to no-time

Last Friday night the image1 above came to me in an in-spirit-ational flash (“thank you”, with a culturally induced nod up to the sky).  I could hear the clickety-click in my head; a whole lot of stuff comes together in this picture for me, either as “oh, I get it” or “but what about..?”. Nothing more lunar …uuuhh… human than a moment of clarity giving rise to more questions. That’s how we learn and grow. So bear with me as I walk you through it. And please add a “right?” (with voice going up) at the end of each sentence – if you read anything in here as stated with obvious conviction, you’re not reading it correctly (of this I’m pretty sure).
Even though we tend to  think of time as linear (past-present-future), we all experience its malleable nature:the days are long, but the years are short.  And even when we hear about relativity or “there is only now”, it’s still not something we really get get, including yours truly. Earlier this year I came across the work of Mr. Calleman, who concludes that the Mayan calendar ends on October 28th 2011. Most interesting is the whole concept of the acceleration of time.  Evolutionary steps are completed faster and faster. No wonder our current phase is referred to as The Quickening. We’re running out of time.
Now let’s jump to the visual above, and see how this stuff all ties together(RIGHT?). The letter A stands for ‘action/intention/initiation’, and the letter B for ‘reaction/manifestation/completion’. We could say thattime, depicted as the dotted line, is the bridge to getfrom A to B. When the bridge is really long, as in the left, it’s hard to connect the dots between action and reaction. You kicked someone in 346 A.D. and you get sucker punched in 2011: “why me, why me?” Hello karma and hello cosmic amnesia. I simply forgot.
So with time accelerating, or the bridge (dotted line) getting shorter, things manifest quicker and quicker. So big societal changes that took first 100 years (industrial revolution) to take hold, then 10 years (internet), are now down to mere months and weeks. So perceived time is a  frequency  that is constantly being turned up a notch, or as a sound analogy: we’re hearing an ever increasing pitch. Or for the visually inclined: brighter light. Or for the touchy-feely people:  more L-O-V-E.
So as we’re closing in on the right-hand part of the picture, where things happen in no-time, time will collapse in on itself. And we’ll be living in the dreamy void of Eternal Now. Imagine that (pretty hard I can tell you).
Now,  what are the implications of no-time. Can you saykarmic game changer: if you kick someone, you’ll instantly kick yourself. It’s divine tough love, a crash course Law of Attraction, and I’m pretty sure you’ll catch on quickly (if not instantly). No more kicking. Wonderful. And think about all the inspired heartfelt  ideas, dreams and talents taking root and bearing fruit in the blink of an eye. Hello Unity Consciousness, bye-bye duality. Now we do the happy dance.
Big question: what happens to residue karma. Because I’m currently not entirely sure that we’ve satisfyingly dealt with that little detail, are you?  So are we gonna be buried in B’s - all the consequences of past action – , raining down on us (vertical line on the right) to be cleaned up first? Or a graceful act of cosmic clemency to wipe our slates clean?  See, more questions – I told you so.
So if (as mind-boggling as it seems) this is what’s going on, then when and how will it manifest itself?  I mean this is one big freaking quantum leap in consciousness, we only will be getting after (yes, linear time reference) the fact. But then we probably don’t care anymore.
Well, we may all be living in 2011, but that doesn’t mean we’re all living in the same “time”.  Each soul is at her own stage in this whole epic journey, individually. But what if there’s a collective timeline that overrides the individual’s?  What if this chunk of consciousness a.k.a. Mother Earth we live on wants to get more comfy and is reaching her end of the line, ready to move to greener pastures? Whether we’re all “ready” or not.  If the time pressure is put on everyone as a collective, irrespective of your soul level and frequency, this could very well mean a splitting of realities. We all may perceive the world and our lives in very distinct ways, either from love or fear –  your choice  – duality to the max.
As many still are living out their inner turmoil in the outer world, amplified by an unknown pressure building, with old structures crumbling (as is inside so is outside), they may feel dis-heartened, debilitated. “Where will this end?” Others may stand in calmness, as a peaceful, compassionate observer knowing that that outer manifestation has nothing to do with their inner core anymore.  It all depends on your vantage point. My take on this? I’d say it’s the  Beginning of the END – It’s theEternal Now Dawning.
1)  “4,000 years” and “200 years” are chosen for illustrative purposes. Not to scale.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Happy Solstice- time for JOY

Beloveds,
Happy solstice! Summer begins in a few hours and this solstice is said to bring us some intense yet luscious energy. I am chewing on so much I can't yet articulate it except for one thing. I (and perhaps many of us) have been missing one critical piece of the puzzle- JOY! After years of slogging through the mud of transformation it is no wonder that we have forgotten or perhaps never remembered how to live in joy. I believe this is our mission, should each of us decide to accept it. How to live joyously, regardless of outside circumstance- that is the question. A tall order I know yet I sense we are ready for it. I am attending a solstice ritual tonight and I will include all of you in my prayers. I have a request- will you join me in using the strong energies of the new moon (Tuesday in California) and the solstice to set your intention to live joyfully. I know that if we band together in our energies, there is no limit to what we can create. Here is a toast to joy! :drinks:


here's a clip from a post to support this view;



http://www.urielheals.com/2009Predictions.html

A Year Delight, ‘De-Light’, Joy and Peace
Archangel Uriel said that 2012 would be a year of ‘de-light’, meaning that it would be the year of the light and for us to find delight in our lives, ourselves, in what we do, where we live, who we live with and in ourselves. Our focus this year has to be on creating joy, on being self-ish and rejecting what does not serve us and our path. We have been warriors and martyrs for the earth, humanity and the Universe for so long, it’s time for us to put down our swords and let the new generations of those who need to find their truth and passion to take over.

Our mission in the new earth is to teach others how to live in and on purpose, to be joyful, to release karma and to understand transformation so they can achieve the levels of vibration needed to access the new earth, which is to be in heaven on earth. This is our role as teachers and healers in the new earth and to teach that, we have to know and experience it. Yes we can still fight but we’ve already done that. There is no place in new earth’s vibration for anything less than joy, peace and abundance and when we are willing to allow those energies into our lives we will experience the heaven on earth that is our final Home coming.