the Source of love

So a big Venus transit is occurring culminating June 4th and as I understand it, it is about healing our relationship to love. Well, in my world, everything that is unloving has been showing up for healing. I have been crying buckets, from joy, celebration, anguish, grief, terror, you name it. Yet here I want to discuss the biggest thing that is happening right now for me. It is about being defensive. For the last few weeks, I have had a number of people telling me things about myself, things they are uncomfortable with, things they see in me, yes, even some things I see as grossly inaccurate and unkind, even seemingly things that are either super inaccurate or maybe even lies. Well, ya gotta just love that little trickster Universe. So  I’m sitting up paying attention, asking, what needs healing here? It has happened way too many times for me to miss the pattern. The fact I have done two intensives on holy relationship and one on undefended love in a month has made things a bit clearer. So fortified with that clarity and vision, when the accusations, anger, rage and blame started flying around involving a number of people alI  through the internet site I follow, I was able to hold it very differently than I would have in the past. I was able to be genuinely curious about what others were seeing in me that I could not see in myself. I was able to sort through what I experienced as accurate and release the rest of it. I was able to see it all as neutral for the most part, to remain non reactive and actually open to what was unfolding. I saw what an incredible and delicious gift that neutrality is, how much freedom it gives me. I remember Byron Katie saying she always sought to see the truth of anything critical anyone says about her and to actually welcome it- I was like, no way Jose. But now I am actually in that space of welcoming and boy has it felt good. As this was unfolding, I felt radical change transforming my literal cellular structure. I could feel energy surging through my body. I barely moved for over 24 hours, hardly slept, was very restless and ill at ease in my body. I could not settle but would move from one spot to another, within a very confined space. I felt pressure, tension, what felt like blockages being opened up in energy channels. It is very hard to put in words. I felt heat, jitters, movement. Yet it felt good and liberating. Until today. 

Today I am immersed in a chaotic and confused energy. One person said another did this and that, I asked that person, they said they did not etc. I do not know who or what to believe. I also found myself caught in more judgment. One person came out with a very harsh indictment of another. I judged that judgment. I am very clear about one thing. I no longer want to be trapped in judgment. I did not know how to proceed so I must allow this uncertainty. I also have had a miracle unfolding. A person from who I had an abrupt and very painful separation has reappeared in my life and is explaining to me what happened from his perspective. He tried to tell me as it was happening but I could neither see or hear as I was too caught in my own drama and pain. I am feeling waves of gratitude and love to have this opportunity to heal. I think another big lesson for me is that there are always two sides to every story. I knew this intellectually yet now it has dropped below the level of the mind. Until now, I was totally blind to my side of what transpired. Now I see that my neediness, co-dependency and demands of another person who says he loves me, came into play, one more time. I pray that it is the last time, that I have learned not to have expectations of people, to try to imprison them in the name of love, demanding they rescue me when I yell for help. I am not talking about genuine care and consideration. I am talking about demands. A big test is coming as my birthday was the time I was most demanding and controlling, trying to prevent my gaping wound from arising. I learned as a child to associate love and presents and therefore would crumble if I did not receive gifts. So for over 30 years I trained and demanded loved ones to give me gifts. Last year there was a coup and rebellion and my love slaves revolted, refusing to cooperate with my scheme. This year I am releasing my demands and quaking in my boots as I do so, afraid of the wound that is under those demands. But this time I am daring the boogie man to show his face. I will confront this one dead on. Let it give me it’s best shot. So this year for the first time in over 30 years I have no plans for my birthday. This is terrifying for me yet something I feel I must face. Now luckily everyone knows how wacky I get on my birthday so I have had a few offers which makes me feel so appreciated. And I will do things to celebrate- just not on the actual day. I get what is the heart of the matter- where is the source of love in my life? Is the love I seek external to me or who I truly am? Is love about getting or giving? If I need to get it, that means I don’t have it. If I am it, there is no need to seek. Wish me luck as I slay this inner demon.

Ascension symptoms

Some good information a friend sent- basically all of them fit for me- how about you? Unfortunately I do not have the source yet it may be someone named Blossom Goodchild.

Ascension Symptoms

Know that although our evolutionary process is rapidly accelerating, along with the New higher vibrational energies, we are all experiencing these changes in our own way and in our own time, according to who we are and according to our coding and plan before birth. In addition, generally speaking, our ascension process relates to how we each run our own individual energy, and what our beliefs and experiences are (in other words, how we are wired and how we vibrate). These things can be changed and will also change automatically as we clear and embody more light within ourselves. For the highly sensitive, psychic and those very open to the higher realms, the ascension process can be a bit more challenging.

(Note: Of course, not all of these symptoms can be attributed to the ascension process. Please follow your own inner guidance and consult a health care professional as needed).

*Feeling as though you are in a pressure cooker or in intense energy; feeling stress. Remember, you are adjusting to a higher vibration and you will eventually adjust. Old patterns, behaviors and beliefs are also being pushed to the surface. There is a lot going on inside of you!

* A feeling of disorientation; not knowing where you are; a loss of a sense of place. You are not in 3D anymore, as you have moved or in the process of moving into the higher realms.

* Unusual aches and pains throughout different parts of your body. You are purifying and releasing blocked energy vibrating at 3D while you are vibrating in a higher dimension.

* Waking at night between 2 and 4 a.m. As you progress, waking at 5 a.m. Much is going on in your dream state. You can't be there for long lengths of time and need a break. This is also the "cleansing and releasing" hour.

* Memory loss. Difficulty accessing words. A great abundance of short term memory loss and only vague remembrances of your past. You are in more than one dimension at a time, and going back and forth as part of the transition (you are experiencing a "disconnect"). Also, your past is part of the Old, and the Old is forever gone. Being in the Now is the way of the New World!

* "Seeing" and "hearing" things. You are experiencing different dimenions as you transition, all according to how sensitive you are and how you are wired.

* Loss of identity. You try to access the Old you, but it is no longer there. You may not know who you are looking at in the mirror! You have cleared much of your old patterns and are now embodying much more light and a simpler, more purified divine you. All is in order....you're OK.

* Feeling "out of body". You may feel as though someone is talking, but it is not you. Our bodies are the last to catch up and are not in the same place as the rest of us. In addition, this phenomenon can also occur as it is our natural defense mechanism of survival when we are under acute stress or feeling traumatized or out of control. Your body is going through a lot and you may not want to be in it. At one point, my ascension guide told me that this was a way of easing the transition process, and that I did not need to experience what my body was going through.

* Periods of deep sleeping. You are resting from all the acclimating and are integrating, as well as building up for the next phase.

* Heightened sensitivities to your surroundings. Crowds, noise, foods, TV, other human voices and various other stimulations are barely tolerable. You also overwhelm very easily and become easily overstimulated. You are tuning up! Know that this will eventually pass.

* Dizziness, loss of balance, back and neck pain, ringing in the ears, "gritty" eyes, blurred vision, insomnia, and heart palpitations with difficulty breathing.

*Headaches.

* Crying about anything, whether wonderful or sad.

* Not remembering the meaning of anything.

* Difficulty in remembering what you did or who you talked to a day or sometimes just an hour before. In the higher realms, reality is very much in the moment. If we do not hold something in our consciousness, it simply ceases to exist. We have no attachments. We are creating our own world around us through our beliefs and thoughts and what we do not "hold onto" does not exist. Everything is brand new as we are starting completely over, moment to moment. We can tap into whatever we choose to at any moment and create and experience just that. This state comes and goes, but is practice for living in the higher realms. It can feel a bit creepy when it occurs.

* You don't feel like doing anything. You are in a rest period, "rebooting". Your body knows what it needs. In addition, when you begin reaching the higher realms, "doing" and "making things happen" becomes obsolete as the New energies support the feminine of basking, receiving, creating, self-care and nurturing. Ask the Universe to "bring" you what you want while you are enjoying yourself and having fun!

* An intolerance for lower vibrational things (of the 3D) reflected in conversations, attitudes, societal structures, healing modalities, etc. They literally make you feel “sick” inside. You are in a higher vibration and your energies are no longer in alignment. You are being "pushed" to move forward.....to "be" and create the New. In addition, you may feel like staying home or just being alone as much of everything "out there" no longer matches the higher vibration of YOU.

* A loss of desire for food. Your body is adjusting to a new, higher state of being. Also, part of you does not want to be here anymore in the Old.

* A sudden disappearance of friends, activities, habits, jobs and residences. You are evolving beyond what you used to be, and these people and surroundings no longer match your vibration. The New will soon arrive and feel so-o-o-o much better!

* You absolutely cannot do certain things anymore. When you try to do your usual routine and activities, it feels downright awful. Same as above.

* Days of extreme fatigue. Your body is losing density and going through intense restructuring.

* A need to eat often along with what feels like attacks of low blood sugar. Weight gain (especially in the abdominal area). A craving for protein. You are requiring an enormous amount of fuel for this ascension process. Weight gain with an inablilty to loose it no matter what you do is one of the most typical experiences. Trust that your body knows what it is doing.

(Note: The body seems to need this extra weight for processing and holding these New higher vibrations. In addition, the liver goes on overdrive as it is rapidly processing and detoxing. An overtaxed liver can lead to abdominal weight gain and frequent waking around 3 a.m. (the liver hour in oriental medicine). Liver supports that can be helpful are milk thistle, casual walks, breathing and trusting in the future.)

* Experiencing emotional ups and downs; weeping. Our emotions are our outlet for release, and we are releasing a lot.

* A wanting to go Home, as if everything is OVER and you don't belong here anymore. We are returning to the Source. Everything IS over. (But many of us are staying to experience and create the New World). Also, our old plans for coming have been completed.

* Feeling you are going insane, or must be developing a mental illness of some sort. You are rapidly experiencing several dimensions and greatly opening. Much is available to you now. You are just not used to it. Your awareness has been heightened and your barriers are gone. This will pass and you will eventually feel very at Home like you have never felt before, as Home is now here.

* Anxiety and panic and feelings of hysteria. Your ego is losing much of itself and is afraid. It may feel as if everything is ending (most of everything is!).Your system is also on overload. Things are happening to you that you may not understand. You are also losing behavior patterns of a lower vibration that you developed for survival in 3D. This may make you feel vulnerable and powerless. These patterns and behaviors you are losing are not needed in the higher realms. This will pass and you will eventually feel so much love, safety and unity. Just wait!

* Depression. The outer world may not be in alignment with the New, higher vibrational you. It doesn't feel so good out there. You are also releasing lower, darker energies and you are "seeing" through them. Hang in there!

* Vivid, wild and sometimes violent dreams. You are releasing many, many lifetimes of lower vibrational energy. Many are now reporting that they are experiencing beautiful dreams. Your dreamstate will eventually improve and you will enjoy it again. Some experience this releasing while awake. My mother commented one day that she believed I was having nightmares in the daytime!

* Night sweats and hot flashes. Your body is "heating" up as it burns off residue.

* Your plans suddenly change in mid-stream and go in a completely different direction. Your soul is balancing out your energy. It usually feels GREAT in this new direction, as your soul knows more than you do! It is breaking your “rut” choices and vibration.

* You have created a situation that seems like your worst nightmare, with many “worst nightmare” aspects to it. Your soul is guiding you into “stretching” into aspects of yourself where you were lacking, or into “toning down” aspects where you had an overabundance. Your energy is just balancing itself. Finding your way to peace through this situation is the test you have set up for yourself.

This is YOUR journey, and your soul would not have set it up if you weren't ready. You are the one who finds your way out and you will. Looking back, you will have gratitude for the experience and be a different person.

big energies

Whoa! Mama mia, the energies are on the move! I see a lot of people getting their asses kicked awake. I am one of them. Been going through a huge, important awakening, learning I have no need to defend myself. So people are coming out of the woodwork to say challenging things to me and I am actually learning to appreciate it! Boggles the mind. Anyway the fur is flying.
Here is a site where some of us like hearted beings gather to share our wisdom and challenges:
http://www.radharaniblossoming.org

love grows grander

Check it out- very useful information about the coming shift in love consciousness.

http://www.dreaminginterpretation.com/venus-retrograde-cycle-has-begun-the-heart-heals/

and another one I love- how contrast works to heal, how even the most revered teachers have need for continued transformation, thanks Uschi. This one makes me feel better about how I can swing so wildly:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFr3OvPdpb8

one more- want to know what the heck is going on in the world and why everything is falling apart? (viewer warning: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART) The 2007 one to me has some excellent and important points but I am not convinced it is completely accurate. The 2008 addendum is much more meaningful to me.
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/

START WITH THEM IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER- 2007 FIRST

finally, on a similar vein, the movie Thrive

holy relationship

O.K., this is another one that is very hard for me to put into words yet I’m going to give it the good old college try. My mother-in-law (out-law) asked me to tell her what a holy relationship is after I told her I was at a day long intensive immersing myself in this Truth. (I just changed type face and some how it gives the whole thing a more regal look, don’t you think?)

So what is holy relationship? I sure have a lot of experience of what it is not. But I digress. For me holy relationship is a felt sense of unity, of Love, of a heart connection that can take the breath away. It is based on one foundation- the awareness of our own wholeness. That knowing of wholeness is based on one reality- our permanent, irreversible connection with Source, with God. Once we begin to embody, to live from a place of knowing this as our lived reality, our life will never be the same.I often cry lately. I cry sometimes when I act outside of the bounds of holy relationship as the distance between Who I am and how I am acting is so painful. Yet more often I cry because I am in alignment with that knowing and then my heart is filled with an immense gratitude. So what does that feel like to align with that place? I literally feel as though my heart is expanding. Lately I often bend over backwards, literally, and I just realized that it is though my heart is being let out of prison. A tightness that kept me physically collapsed around my heart, scrunched over with shoulders hunched in protective mode, is being released. When I am in holy relationship, tears often come to my eyes. The way I describe it to myself is, I’m home, after a  long and arduous journey, after eons in the wilderness, in the desert. I have come back to mySelf and boy does it feel GOOOOOODD! The sense of homecoming is a warmth that permeates my body. Everything feels right, shiny and true. Colors literally are more vivid, as though light emanates from everything I see. Everyone I meet is my Beloved. I feel a deep sense of unity and compassion. 

Here is one example. I was at my food co-op and I saw a man playing music outside. He started talking to me and told me he had to go to jail. He is homeless and a street musician. He averages $12 a day from his music. A shop owner called the police and he was given a fine of over $3000 which he can not pay so off to jail he must go. He said when he finally falls asleep, the police come along and kick him. I felt such tenderness and compassion as I listened. Yes, I did give him some money but what felt better was the long hug and intense gaze into his eyes. There was no separation between us in that moment. His story was my story, a story from which I could not look away as I might have in the past.

This is just a taste of what holy relationship is for me. Yet my fingers are cold as I sit outside on this cloudy rainy day and tutoring is over soon. I hope this will intrigue and you will begin to notice holy instants of unity in your day. Nothing to me is more delicious!! Thank you Mutti for the question.

Dalai Lama and education of the heart

This is a subject near and dear to my heart so I pass it on to you. Thank you Uschi:

The Dali Lama Speaks About Children And The Education Of The Heart

A recent quote by the Dalai Lama read, “My hope and wish is that one day, formal education will pay attention to what I call education of the heart. Just as we take for granted the need to acquire proficiency in the basic academic subjects, I am hopeful that a time will come when we can take it for granted that children will learn, as part of the curriculum, the indispensability of inner values: love, compassion, justice, and forgiveness.”

The time is here.  The time is now.

How do we learn to love and to be kind?  How do we learn the wisdom of gratitude and the awesome power that lies within our imaginationand creativity?   We teach our children through modeling this behavior.  We teach them by using all means and methods available to us.  Dream A World and Dream A World Education, Inc. has created programs, books, music and curriculum that encourage children to remember the gifts they were given at birth – the secrets of the heart.  There are tools that exist to create a path for children to find out who they are and how they make a difference in the world.  These tools are being used in public schools, Montessori Schools, by home schoolers and by Spiritual Centers and Churches around the world.  The education of the heart is happening now.

Join our quest to teach all children –  the art of living.  One by one we change the world!

Contest- free CMR session

O.K. loves, I haven't heard from anybody yet after posting this on Easter- well ok, didn't check in the last day. I seem to have a very shy blog family, not many comments or responses. So hopefully you are all inspired and doing loving acs and don't feel like sharing them. Even thinking a loving thought counts totally. And if not, that is perfect too, wherever you are is perfect. But in case you are interested, the competition doesn't seem like it will be too stiff. If you want to enter, don't think it has to be anything grandiose.

I am stealing this idea from my friend Kate. I want to invite you to participate in a contest to win a free Cellular Memory Release session with me. It is the work I do professionally and is about releasing challenges at the cellular level through verbal guidance. In order to enter you must have access to a phone and be able to call California for 90 minutes. (Most countries have phone cards if you live outside the United States.) You must be able to do so during certain hours, primarily mid day (10am-1pm) weekdays (not Thursday) with the exception of Monday where I could do late afternoon or evening Pacific Daylight Time. You must be able to speak and understand English. O.K. Those are the restrictions. The contest: to do something loving toward another person, animal, plant, mother Earth and write me an email telling me what you did. My daughter and I will then arbitrarily decide which loving act was the most powerful, with the most impact. The session value is $150 US. To look up information on Cellular Memory Release go to: cellularmemory.org   Send your entry to onelovekey@yahoo.com   You can also let me know if you have any questions. If your entry is chosen, you will have the choice to have me publish it on my blog or not. End date is May 7th my birthday. I am doing this with the hopes of spreading love around the world and creating regeneration and rebirth. It will also be a wonderful present for me and I love presents!! Beloveds, may you feel renewed and filled with hope and clear vision this Easter. May you know you are loved. Enjoy the contest!!!