Wow, things are whirling for me since 11:11:11. Few days of peace then the baseball bat. I want to try to boil the essence of what I have realized these last days. Please be patient with my ramblings as I am not crystal clear. My daughter and her Dad came to blows over homework a few days ago. She has profound learning differences so school is very challenging. I finally got him on board helping with homework but it didn't go well. To cut to the chase we all ended up hysterical, threatening, separated, angry, hurt, and, at least for me, in utter despair. I could see no way out. I tried to resolve it logically, find a new school geared to her learning style- nearest one about 100 miles away and cost $25,000 per year. I really tried to use my will and control to fix it. Disaster. I finally surrender because there was nothing else left. A miracle occurred instantly and it was absolutely clear I got direction from beyond. We did a process that shifted my daughter's energy and was funny. Then she got the idea to write about her experience. It is wonderful and might be published in the local paper. I sent it to some people and we got an outpouring of support. I heard my friends' horror stories of being labeled retarded and developing such self hatred because of their learning differences a generation ago. Their experience and the new way I was holding her helped my daughter shift her negative view of herself. I continue to be almost shocked by how blind I have been to her experience. How is it that it is so difficult to see another's reality even when we live with them? Wild!
We were in unity and bliss until the next day when we tried to do homework. Now again I had expectations, was controlling and still in the old consciousness of do it or else. She ended up tearing the homework up and throwing it to the winds, I shouted until my throat hurt and again, separation and anguish, heartbreak. I tried to surrender but my surrender was shallow and false, linked to my ideas of right and wrong, very controlling with strong expectations. Well, after that explosion, I again truly surrendered. More miracles occured. Her parent/teacher conference led to a new direction, my Way of Mastery group held us both in such powerful love and light that things shifted, she miraculously did pages of homework without hassle with her Dad's help, etc. The point I finally got is pure Course of Miracles. Of myself I can do nothing yet when I join with my soul, God, higher self, whatever- I am unlimited. Possibilities outside the box miraculously appear. Hearts and doors open, love flows. Hum, let me think, which is better- despair, rage and control or surrender, trust and Love. I am on the Trust train and just pray I fall off of it less and less. Trust in a power beyond my little ego is all that keeps me out of edgy, nervous despair and discomfort. Boy, am I committed as I really feel horrible in the goo. Trust, trust, trust. I trust these disjointed ramblings convey beyond my words the hope I have for all of us. I just read a wonderful article that summarized my view of true education. If we education our children in this manner, the world's issues would be solved. Because education was my family's most important value it has been very hard for me to shift my beliefs about education but they are starting to crumble. My family members are doctors, lawyers, a former senator, etc. You get the picture. I was indoctrinated in the value of education. The question for me now is- what is a true, valuable, alive education? If anyone has any ideas or comments how we can alter our education system to truly draw from within, please let me know. Blessing in these interesting times! love savannah
Here is the article I liked so much:
http://srivast.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=202&Itemid=182&lang=en
We were in unity and bliss until the next day when we tried to do homework. Now again I had expectations, was controlling and still in the old consciousness of do it or else. She ended up tearing the homework up and throwing it to the winds, I shouted until my throat hurt and again, separation and anguish, heartbreak. I tried to surrender but my surrender was shallow and false, linked to my ideas of right and wrong, very controlling with strong expectations. Well, after that explosion, I again truly surrendered. More miracles occured. Her parent/teacher conference led to a new direction, my Way of Mastery group held us both in such powerful love and light that things shifted, she miraculously did pages of homework without hassle with her Dad's help, etc. The point I finally got is pure Course of Miracles. Of myself I can do nothing yet when I join with my soul, God, higher self, whatever- I am unlimited. Possibilities outside the box miraculously appear. Hearts and doors open, love flows. Hum, let me think, which is better- despair, rage and control or surrender, trust and Love. I am on the Trust train and just pray I fall off of it less and less. Trust in a power beyond my little ego is all that keeps me out of edgy, nervous despair and discomfort. Boy, am I committed as I really feel horrible in the goo. Trust, trust, trust. I trust these disjointed ramblings convey beyond my words the hope I have for all of us. I just read a wonderful article that summarized my view of true education. If we education our children in this manner, the world's issues would be solved. Because education was my family's most important value it has been very hard for me to shift my beliefs about education but they are starting to crumble. My family members are doctors, lawyers, a former senator, etc. You get the picture. I was indoctrinated in the value of education. The question for me now is- what is a true, valuable, alive education? If anyone has any ideas or comments how we can alter our education system to truly draw from within, please let me know. Blessing in these interesting times! love savannah
Here is the article I liked so much:
http://srivast.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=202&Itemid=182&lang=en
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