embodied joy practice January

I am aware that one of my greatest challenges has been to fully embody on the planet. A number of years ago I uncovered a belief that I did not belong here and did not want to stay. A definite downer considering this is my planet and wishing myself elsewhere only creates suffering. I have really turned that belief around yet still was unwilling to fully embody. More recently I discovered how overwhelm, anticipatory overwhelm and anxiety made it so uncomfortable to reside in my own skin that it was no wonder I resisted it. So I focused on releasing all of that and have cleared much. Now I am becoming increasingly aware that i must genuinely desire being embody to fully enjoy my life on Earth so I am now placing my attention on embodying joy, feeling joy in my own skin. I know placing attention here will increase my joy through law of attraction. My gratitude and appreciation have increased dramatically since I began this practice months ago. So this is how I am tweaking this year's practice. Practice makes perfect! I am again including the original instructions below:

Because times are so intense it is easy to get stuck in "the problem" whatever it may be. To antidote that I am creating a forum (or maybe a monologue) to share our joy. I will post five or more things I am finding joy (now with a focus on at least one moment of EMBODIED joy) in each day. I'll do it for as long as it feels good. Feel free to add your list in the comments or to do it at home on your own. Know that if you choose to do this you will be adding to the aggregate joy of the planet and right now she needs it. It will train our attention to focus on joy (EMBODIED joy in particular) and thus, by law of attraction, our joy MUST increase.

I would be delighted if you would like to add your joy list in the comments!!!

1/1/13

- it's 2013

- releasing so much false self image

- peaceful new year's eve without expectations

- energy to prepare nice meal

- enjoying the physical experience of making the meal

- in my body humming The Blue Danube and waltzing with my wasband (an Austrian tradition at midnight)

- feeling very freaky energy without getting swept away.

- being warmed by soft flannel sheet
1/2/13
- conversation with my spiritual partner Karin which helped antidote the strong fear I was feeling
- clarity about how I bought and thus increased the fear
- a moment of clear surrender that led to mini miracles
- two direct reversals of what I feared after I surrendered
- cooking and actually almost enjoying it!
- the embodied joy of listening to the wind sigh
- calm waking up!
- sweet moments of connection and cooperation
- enjoying delicious hugs and hand holding
1/3/13
- the luxury of falling back into a delicious sleep
- waking up relatively calm
- honestly sharing with a friend to work out a challenge
- enjoyable movie "Safety not Guaranteed"
- reading an inspiring book, The Oracle within" by Jennifer Posada
- having the tools to keep my mind from buying the lurking fear
- knowing loved ones support me as I seek to reground myself in these new intense energies
- the ability to feel subtle energy even though it is often uncomfortable
- my daughter cooperating on three challenging tasks
- warm sun
- cuddling Panter and Moonlight
1/4/13
- hours luxuriating in the sun serenaded by the birds
- absorbing my daughter's succulent field of love
- making angel's in the water with the backstroke
- Panther peacefully napping on my solar plexus
- feeling harmonious all day!
- connecting time with loved one
- a clean kitchen!
- sugar craving subsiding
- more peace with 12/21/12
- new books inspiring me
- deepening ability to surrender
- waking up with trust
- my blog family
- the new revolving globe showing the lights of my blog family
1/5/13
- more delightful hours on this deck with the birds and sun
- Panther learning to develop trust as I imbue her with love
- taking a walk and not having it be torture to begin
- choosing relatively easily to make an unplanned trip to the gym
- a moment of incredible intimacy and love
- cleaning my bedroom and being relatively neutral about it; not torture!

- inspiring another to more self loving behavior

- mostly staying out of judgment in a situation I find inexplicable

- sitting on a rock on this land in gratitude

- relatively neutral to reading things that previously would have pushed me into great fear

- fasting with incredible ease

- sugar compulsion greatly diminished

- witnessing another make more whole choices

- staying neutral in a situation that used to posh me over the edge

1/6
- cleaned out my car!
- pulled back quickly from major drama
- big realization with my control issue
- very loving interaction after major breach
- much clearer insight into a dynamic that has tripped me up most of my life
- sugar craving passing
- delighting in breaking my fast savoring each morsel
- homework done in harmony
- inspiring movie
- major clearing of shadow
- support from a loving friend
1/7/13
- getting money back on my car repair
- delicious food from Briarpatch
- feeling cozy in my rental car
- amazing body discoveries at Feldenkrias (sP?) class
- new awareness of subtle movements and greater ease in returning to healthy movement
- easy morning without drama
- going for massage today
- feeling my field of love greatly expanded
- many pleasant interactions with unknown friends (otherwise called strangers)
- getting my car painting the color I desire and having the faith to do it!
1/8/13
- nice massage
- lovely dinner
- such a sense of peace
- such a sense of expansion and love
- kissing Panther
- enjoying driving the rental
- loving how "problems" just evaporate when i genuinely surrender
- sweet gift from wasband
- feeling my field of light expanding globally
1/9
- moments of incredible bliss
- feeling at home
- peace
- tears of joy as I felt the presence of my not yet arrived Beloved in the car with me; his Presence was very palpable!
- tears of joy as I celebrated the beautiful lights of Highway 80 on the approach to Sacramento 
- the most delicious hug from Jan
- spending several hours in delightful conversation with Karin
- Horacio's support
- a massage in the sauna
- feeling capable of taking my sugar challenge more seriously
- the energy of my Way of Mastery class
- support in releasing my last vestiges of feeling the need to be in control
- understanding ever more fully the wisdom of the incoming children
1/10
- a free day to catch up to myself
- clearing a control challenge
- close enough connection to a friend so we can clear things immediately
- greater understanding of others' personalities
- big realization
- mentoring from Luis
- one day of being totally sugar free and eating purely
- staying centered when speaking to someone who was quite unbalanced
- finally getting holiday decorations cleared
- literal feeling of chest expanding
- bed made
1/11
- homework miracle
- easily releasing sugar, wheat, dairy for last days
- leaving on time with no hassles
- new level of cooperation and love
- fun kidding with Mike
- wonderful letter from Uschi!finding healthy food delicious
- support
- intense nap out of the blue while outside in 39 degrees F, at exact time of new moon; know it was a download
- love with Panther
- warm sheets and P.J.'s
1/12
waking up in peace
- despite more repairs, car still not totaled
- finding my alive food so incredibly delicious 
- much more surrender with loved one 
- many mini miracles after I surrender!
- sunlight sparkling on tree leaves
- feeling the physical sensation of my chest literally expanding with love
- living increasingly in a field of love
- more awareness of how my spiritual ego "guru girl" tricks me
- not falling as often for the tricks
1/13
- unexpected fun plans with Cory
- another great, inexpensive massage
- delicious food
- able to eat out while friends had alcohol, bread, dessert and I didn't without much discomfort
- the incredible beauty and sparkle of Panther's nose, really SEEING it for the first time
- wonderful movie
- more clarity about Indigos
- feeling capable 
1/14
- sweet family dinner
- daughter eating healthy!
- help with chores
- enjoying cooking!
- eating healthy effortlessly
- no sugar cravings
- harmony with family
- so much peace
1/15
- great healing session with Doug
- sweet session with client
- feeling more present in my body
- laying down in the afternoon!
- seeing Sunny
- Lovely Temple evening
- ability to clean up a bit again
- sweet conversation by phone
-being warm in the cold
1/16
- wonderful conversation with Cory
- delicious sushi dinner
- so much more awareness of taste
- good session with my health coach
- so enjoying slightly warmer weather
- time to sit on deck
- sad, yet powerful movie, Brothers
- people noticing the physical and emotional changes in me
- so much greater ease with eating in alignment with my body's health

1/17
- very enjoyable Nia class
- feeling alive in body
- more aware of subtle energy
- more aware of body needs
- understanding my body's functions and needs much better
- daughter cleaned my closet!
- more order
- sun on my legs
- toe infection clearing after almost 2 months!
- such spaciousness
- waking before alarm and sleeping very well
- family harmony
1/18
- WASBAND'S BIRTHDAY
- WATCHING BUBBLES FLASH IN SUNLIGHT WHILE I WAS SWIMMING
- DRIVE HOME ALTERNATE WAY, LISTENING TO GOOD MUSIC
- moving and enjoying it
- loving healthy food
- gorgeous weather
- feeling capable!
1/19
- getting many errands done
-accepting without an negativity a huge wave of exhaustion
- recognizing we are in major transition
- my toe so much better
- laying in my hammock
- hand holding
- tranquility
- calmly balancing feelings and needs with another
1/20
- fun with friends
- seeing swans fly
- swans in rice fields
- hearing bird calls
- visiting the farm
- food and generosity at temple
- my rich life
- breeze on skin
- wonderful time with CC, Aly, Karin, Sharon
- indian store
- getting necessary things cheaply
- cuddling
- freedom
1/21
- the quality of the light, somehow more vibrant
- such a loving, peaceful day yesterday
- wonderful long walk with loved one
- preparing for wasband's family birthday party
- cleaning up and feeling good about it!
- bunny cage cleaned without complaint by other
- other doing things that before were source of conflict
- so much more harmony in the family
- realizing what true cooperation and intimacy are
- letting triggers fly by without biting
- hanging out on deck chatting
- chest expanding with love
- so much greater awareness and inner authority about health 
1/22
- so many belly laughs
- harmonious family dinner
- sweet birthday celebration
- daughter's joy
- wasband's assistance
- good food
- great ease as I began my fast
- inspiring movie Coco before Channel
1/23
- car fixed and looks fabulous!
- love car color
- did come out over $1000 to the good
- cleaning so much of my room
- hearing some interesting dialogues
- healing irritation
1/24

• able to clear out big piles of paper clutter
• genuinely feeling good about cleaning up
• relatively neutral when my plans for the day shifted from one moment to the next
• major drama contained within less than five minutes
• nice conversation with Kim
• finding out what happened the night before was a detox reaction
• bedroom chi feeling so much more spacious as I clear the clutter
• gratitude my daughter cleared out my closet
• being woken up from a dream that indicated how to have more  acceptance of where I am right now in consciousness
• 1/25
• ability to not react to inner irritation
• recognizing the lesson of healing irritation with Gallagher's
• peaceful time with Panther
• able to remain witness to uncomfortable time without much story
• enjoying my sweet potato
• not spinning out even though feel very flat
• not buying what my mind is trying to tell me
• new client

• 1/26 
• helping decorate for dance, doing volunteer hours
• friendly new water aerobics teacher 
• Sweet conversation with other crafters
• Talking to Kim
• Daughter’s loving ministrations when I had challenge
• Greater clarity about being flat lined
• - breaking flat line being delighted outside partially in the sun
• Delighting in eating dates
• Feeling some loving emotions peek through again

1/27
- good soup
- able to read, some books from library
- observer strong in me
- love one so sweet
- nice movie
- relative neutrality
- got lots of volunteer hours done
1/28
- peaceful family dinner
- some returning emotions
- feelings of love peeking through again
 - greater understanding about and appreciation for the emptiness
- greater acceptance of the emptiness
- rereading a post that helped me hold the emptiness
- wonderful movie, Catch me if You Can
- lovely conversation with Marie that assisted me in experiencing more genuine gratitude
- great ease fasting
- good session bring more clarity about what is transpiring
- feeling good in my new sweater 
- feeling better all the time in my body
1/29
- peaceful on deck
- overcame major trigger
- wonderful session
- clarity about not taking it personal
- love and support
- wonderful conversation Karin
- ability to support others in gaining peace and clarity
- 6000 visitors to this blog!
- much more peace, feeling good
1/30
- lightness returning
- cleared up lots of clutter
- enjoyed my deck
- felt good to work out with coach
- lovely energy at MAstery
- feeling the field of love and able to hold it for another
- knowing more deeply how valuable the field is
- able to hold another's suffering with compassion and a sense of almost joy knowing she is getting free!
- my heart tree broach has arrived and is lovely
- sleeping well
- waking up lightly!!!
- enjoying my new tea!
- enjoying tea with Karin
1/31
- watching steam from my tea dance in the sunlight
- good work out in Nia
- able not to judge self even though routine very complicated and I often didn't get it
- peaceful morning french braiding daughter's hair as she is  Guinevere (Arthur, Camelot) in the school play
- bird's song extra sweet
- woke a minute before alarm just as I had envisioned
- remembering powerful drem about swimming in the wave Maverick and all old swept away, even old stairs washed out in huge wave yet I was initially able to swim in it; water crystal clear
- lovely conversation with Annette
- feeling ever more capable
- relationship with body constantly improving
- delicious bread with avocado

across the bridge

What a ride since 12/21/12! Here it is the last day of 2012.  Did you ever think we'd make it? I had my doubts sometimes when this date loomed far in the future. So 12/21 arrived for me with a sputter. I was like, WHAT?!? that's it?!? Yet gradually something began to lift and bloom in me until I was riding in a mild bliss. A large part of the bliss was I was super aware of what was missing, what was different during these holidays: NO DRAMA, NO OVERWHELM!! Just noticing that sent me into a mild ecstasy of gratitude. As I prepared for my trip to San Francisco, I was not plagued with fear about getting stressed out driving in the city, not being able to handle getting ready, not feeling at ease in crowds and so on. Almost my whole life, I have been buried with such concerns. What freedom to just get ready and go. No worries, no future negative fantasies, what a blast of joy, yummy. I was able to leave the silence of my peaceful, sunny deck after days of rain and busyness with only mild regret yet no fear I couldn't handle whatever would arise. Then we were off and the joy increased. I immediately got lost when we arrived yet I felt so calm and capable that I would find my way and I did. I had been afraid to book the journey at all not knowing how I would feel after 12/21. I was a little concerned with the idea of alignment with the Galactic center and  earthquakes so I had to overcome that. Then I had to decide how long to stay and was wavering until the last minute. My intuition told me to stay two nights while my logical mind could find no reason to have that expense, no reason I would enjoy staying past seeing the ballet and our other planned activities. I went with my intuition and am I glad I did. (thanks Uschi.) I loved every minute of it. Our second day was spontaneously unplanned and each moment was delicious. I had wanted to go to Alcatraz as I loved the symbolism of leaving prison at the end of 2012. Turns out you have to book weeks in advance. I easily let that idea go and went with the flow. Ideas shifted moment to moment and we decided so peacefully together. We ended up walking across the Golden Gate Bridge as a sudden impulse. Under the bridge, my daughter spotted a pod of dolphins blessing us with their playful joy, jumping and splashing against the current. The views were awesome and to look up at the height of the bridge's supports created an expansive feeling. Yet I could barely look down and was flooded with compassion for all those who choose to jump (an average of one a week.) There are phones to offer support to anyone considering making such a tragic choice. I was moved to bathe the bridge in an aura of loving presence in support of anyone who might feel so lost and desperate. I felt waves of compassion sweep me to tears. I know that this is the greatest gift we can offer the world, our loving presence. I later realized that crossing the bridge is the more accurate symbol for me at the end of this monumental 2012. For me it is choosing again and again to cross the bridge from fear to love, returning to mySelf.
We continued to have such sweet experiences; getting a window table on the water with no wait, the best food I have eaten in years,  a wonderful walk on the beach, finding the hotel in the dark and so on. It culminated with a giggly time at the make up counter of Saks Fifth Avenue as I treated myself to Minarto's loving ministrations. I haven't worn make up in over a decade yet it was so fun laughing with Minarto and trying on various products. The main joy came from the sense of connection with a previously unknown friend. An envelope of such love seemed to bathe our every step. 
The only challenging moment was driving home when I was so tired I literally got lost for almost an hour and I lost my temper for a few minutes. Otherwise the entire experiences was a miniature Nirvana.
Yesterday was not easy as I came down from the high. As I often do, I thought that level of joy would never end yet quickly recognized how I had set myself up. My day was peaceful enough yet it is clear to me my many years of needing so much silence and solitude are coming to an end. I have gone through these paradigm shifts in my life enough times to recognize the signs. I am between periods in my life as tends to happen to me about every seven years. My old way of being is not fully compete and my new way has not yet fully arrived. I feel in no man's land. The feeling of absolute clarity and knowing is gone. I awoke today feeling very lonely, something I have not experienced in a long time. I felt overwhelmed with it. I recognized I could easily be swept away with a torrent of emotions. I wanted to reach outside myself for answers, even while knowing they will not be found there. I chose not to buy the fear. I am choosing in this moment to allow the pit of fear to be in my gut, to merely witness it without going into any story. I do not need to theorize about what it is or where it came from. I merely need to witness it, knowing this is what this moment's offering is to me. Yes, I mourn the loss of the joy yet must allow this too. I know it shall pass which is good news. Years ago I could have been easily trapped in the prison of such sticky emotions. Now I recognize it as energy in motion. My mentor Luis always says that what we as a civilization lack is emotional education. I share my story with the hopes of beginning to reverse that lack, as a token of our choice to cross the bridge to love, to remember our own unlimited nature.

(mid-afternoon) What a shift! I am sitting outside, freezing my butt off, enjoying communing with Gaia. I feel such peace and connection. I had a good cry with my beloved friend Karin and released my pent up grief and appreciation. I felt such waves of gratitude for all those that have and continue to support me, especially Ciela, Georg, Uschi, Karin, Karl and Irmgard. Amazing how quickly the tide of emotions can reverse.

My darlings, I wish you a wonderful celebration tonight for the feat of getting through 2012! I wish you each every blessing in the coming year. I celebrate our time together and am delighted you have chosen to join our little family of light. I send you such a huge hug and kiss. 

the seed is planted in the now

Beloveds,

I am slowly getting the feel for these new energies and I am happy to report it is good indeed. Definitely not what I was expecting yet very good. The blog below describes it in detail that I find amazingly accurate. I wake up each morning with clear insight yet for me the water is still choppy. I had a very luscious and peaceful Christmas. It was filled with love and support and zero drama!!!!! I was able to heal a charge I have had all my life, associating present with love. This had caused me so much pain and made me a dictator ordering others to get me gifts to prove their love. I decided to end it at my birthday in May and it worked. After years of focus and intention, that charge is gone!!! See me dancing across the room with glee. 

Yet when evening came I was in tears of sadness and nostalgia. I cried when my daughter left to go to her dad's. I cried when I opened my last gift which was so heartfelt and ideal for me. I cried at my mother in laws request I sing auld lang syne with her. I didn't know exactly what the tears were about, I just knew they were perfect and allowed them to bless me with their healing energy. whatever is happening now, I notice I need to take it s l o w so that I can stay present to what is in the moment, rather than spin out into the future where I use to experience being overstimulated.

I want to share three example of how I have experienced the healing energies carried in on 12/21/12. My experience is that the new reality allows us to be at choice, to choose love and peace in a way not previously available. The first occurred when I could not find my gift to take to the white elephant gift exchange Christmas eve. I got a little crazy and began to spin when I could not locate it. I kept looking in that spin energy until I recognized how I was creating overwehlm. I went outside and sat in silence and immediately centered and felt calm. I stayed 10 minutes to be sure and then I knew I would find the gift immediately. I had not clue where to look yet had the strong intuition to fix a small broken piece of wood that is part of my spirit house. AS I reached for the glue in the cupboard, I saw the gift and smiled. I said thank you out loud as I knew my guides where giving me a clear demonstration of the new energy. When I looked with the frantic energy, I was assured of never finding, As soon as I centered, it was a slam dunk.

The next example was when I started to the party feeling overwhelmed. I was missing a key ingredient of my recipe for the potluck and that started me spinning into overwhelm again. I had to pick my daughter up soon so I had no time to recenter. As I drove I set my intent to calm down and enjoy the party. I knew I needed somewhere to chill before going to the party. I got to town and a coffee shop was open late!!! We went in and sat for a half an hour until I had re-centered and then went to the party which I enjoyed thoroughly. To shift out of such overstimulation and stay out of it in a group of people was something beyond me even a few weeks ago. Another mini miracle courtesy of 12/21. 

The  final example was at Christmas dinner. I gave my daughter a few warnings dinner was almost ready. I called her for dinner and she did not show up until we had finished eating. I started to make up a story about why she did not come and it was not a happy story. It turns out she had forgotten our Christmas cards and was down in her room writing and decorating them so we could enjoy them with our meal. Her gesture was so loving so lucky I stayed out of story and in the now, waiting to see what was. So the stackers 
missed their last shot at stirring up Christmas drama. 

I hope this gives the flavor of the choice point that now exists for us if we stay alert and aware. The choice for love has never been clearer. My friend Uschi gave me a little story about seeds and fruits that helped clarity it too. What I am realizing is I wanted 12/21 to deliver the whole d*mn tree of awakening and love. Instead we were given the seed which we must continue to plant and nurture. Yes, I know the process is longer than any of us imagined. Yet I can feel the fruits are going to also be beyond anything I previously imagined. So let's enjoy the ride!!!

I am passing on this post from my friend Carmen in it's entirety so it can be translated as it is so tender and from my perspective, totally accurate. She said it is from her Oracle sister, Jennifer Posada....


At the Threshold of a New World

by Jennifer on December 23, 2012

We’ve never been here before. This exact, fresh moment in time. But we’ve been somewhere very similar. It was a really, really long time ago. We were on our way, our whole world, into a huge dark cloud. We were on our way into what I call in my book, The Oracle Within, “The Great Forgetting.” Back then the forgetting had already been underway, but at the moment like this one we hit a massive wave of it. Just like this time, only now we are headed the other way…into what I call “The Great Remembering.”

I know on the Solstice, the date of the great Mayan shift, some of you were disappointed. Some of you didn’t feel any great new energy descend into your lives or the world. Some of you were just plain tired that day (I heard that from a lot of people) or found it anti-climactic. I am writing this post today because I have some information that I think will really help as we go through this change. After all, I remember the last one, and all the incredible points of shift in between. I’ve seen cities fall…worlds disappear. The crucial point I need to make about this time is that all of those things are indeed happening again this time…they are just happening within.

The cities that are falling are the ones you built up around your heart to survive the forgetting. Even though, for the most part, these crumblings will occur within, it doesn’t mean they don’t sometimes come along with the same potential feelings of trauma and grief. And it certainly doesn’t mean that we don’t need the same level of support and self-care. We need it now more than ever. We are about to bloom like wildfire-roses…we are about to shock the world with our color and our fury…we are about to break open like a million oceans and find out how to finally speak of what’s beneath. But we are being born into new space so profoundly it’s as if we have to find a new way to breathe…a new way to be, while all around us things look the same. It’s just that day by day, we’ll notice that it may look the same but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. This was never going to be an overnight change, but if you get to where the air is clear, you will catch it like a fragrance. Like the smell of the first flowers in the springtime, you will suddenly find yourself stunned by it one day when you were just walking through the cold winter air to your car. And you will know it then. You will know the change is really underway. It’s one of those things you can only feel now if you venture out on a really quiet night…out in the silent darkness, and get down on the ground and put your ear to the tracks. Far away you will feel the softest rumble…like the roar of a distant ocean…the train is coming….

And don’t worry. You can’t miss it. In fact, you’re here now…that means you already didn’t.

After all we all made this great big date together a long time ago. All we had to do was show up…and we already did.

So, while we wait for the rest of the shift to take place naturally, and take absolutely intensive-level good care of ourselves, acting with great love and gentleness toward ourselves as we go through the inner shifts, there are a few things that may help us along. As I felt this portal we’ve just passed through it reminded me so much of that ancient time when we passed through it the other way as I mentioned before, into The Great Forgetting. It was like one was almost a mirror image of the other. That’s because each way it was the same kind of shift, just in another direction. (It will take a long time for us to completely understand why the forgetting needed to happen, and for it to more completely end.) It is like passing through the other side of an eclipse, or coming back through the looking glass. These intense shift points have signatures, and these two points just happen to be sisters…twins. That means a lot of the things that happened then are likely to be mimicked now…we will relive them in order to resolve them, like we do with all unresolved past life material. We just happen to be doing it with that very specific shift material right now.

Let me give you some examples. Back then, the temples fell. They fell inside first. Inside each person and inside the infrastructure of the people involved…the sisterhood and brotherhood. As people forgot, they began to turn to false power to fill the void left where they once knew they were love. It was the great heartache of the worlds when people forgot they were love. So you may find that certain relationships are shifting now, that you are having new insights into them, or finding out where there are people in your life that are not who they seemed to be, or who are gracefully or not so gracefully bowing out of the picture. Old group structures, teachers, sisterhood/brotherhoods, may fall away and though you may find yourself flailing around about it for a while, whatever you are truly led to shed now will open up new energy and leave new room for more of your authentic self to flourish and be freed up.

Also, like before, it is good to be aware that this is a time when the veils are thin, and when psychic permeability is at a peak. That means it is easier than ever to go someplace or have an interaction and pick up on the energies around you without realizing that it isn’t your own. The simplest cure for this is time on your own doing something you love. It will clear up for you what is your own energy and what isn’t. You need time to reflect, and time to nurture yourself. This psychic permeability can also make us feel sort of “haunted” by old ghosts. They are simply “guardians at the gate”…they are there because you are stepping into more of your power and those energies are coming up to be cleared. When they come up we are being challenged to look them in the eye, tell them there is no place for them in our energy field anymore, and walk on across our new threshold of risk and true empowerment beyond them. We always encounter these guardians at the gate when we are about to take a bold step into more of who we really are. They come up so we can say goodbye and truly take our place at the banquet table of our lives for the abundant feast we have newly realized is available to us. It is time to say yes to ourselves, yes to who we are, and everything else be damned. We have tried it every other way…trying to please or suppress others, trying to get answers and approval outside, and it has only led us to destruction and a world mostly full of lost souls. The only real answers are within. The only way we can ever really offer others our gifts is to give them to ourselves first. We need radical change now, not just empty words to sustain false securities. It’s a new world and it will be built on our true, raw desires and our willingness to take a chance on them. Oh yeah…I said it. I think I’m even gonna say it again…just in case you didn’t really hear it…

It’s a new world and it will be built on our true, raw desires and our willingness to take a chance on them.

Yeah…I know you are probably tired, and maybe scared, and you’ve already been taken apart and put back together so many times that you no longer have an envelope left to push. You may not know what to believe anymore. That’s fine. Perfect even. You can start with just the moment..each moment that comes, and find out what you believe, from the new, fresh place of giving up…of the bottom, of the bare floor. It’s a start. That’s all we need.

Forget everything you know about what’s coming. Forget everything you’ve heard about what the changes are or mean, or what the world will become or won’t. Forget what you think you know about your future (unless you’ve already fallen in love with it…) You can even forget this after you read it. Forget all that and just feel whatever is under your fingertips. Feel the air move in and out of your lungs. Ask your heart what it beats for. You will likely have forgotten why you weren’t going to do the things you really wanted to…”Why was I holding back again?”, you’ll ask yourself, “What was it that I had to lose?” Like poet Mary Oliver suggests, just consider letting “the warm animal of your body love what it loves.” And like Anais Nin you will soon realize that for you too “the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud, was greater than the risk it took to bloom.”

And then you might even find yourself getting up off the couch in the nightie-top under overalls you wore all day and busting a little groove to the Justin Timberlake you are listening to while you write a modern-day Oracle prophecy about the coming of the new world…oh wait…that’s me. I can highly recommend it, though. (Whatever the equivalent is for you of busting a move in your pjs while rocking the world with your real stuff.) And really, you know, what goes around does come around (referencing the Justin Timberlake song I am listening to)…and I’ve waited a very, very long time for this coming around. Finally, so long after our wings were clipped, we are going to be free again. I saw back then that this time would come, but there were times I had waited so long that I almost thought it never would. It was, more than I can ever say, worth the wait.

So things are going to look the same for the most part. But don’t be fooled. There is something different in the air, and day by day you may ever-so-subtly be able to feel it more. There will be more and more support for the breaking-wide-open of old paradigms and the welcoming in of new love-based shifts and ways of living and being. Day by day, though there will still be the harder times where we are going through specific growth periods, we will start to feel less and less like we are swimming against the tide, and more and more like we are being carried. And when we don’t have to spend so much energy treading water, we are going to realize that we can start to really live again. Because really living is your best fantasy times a billion. Really living is something we’ve forgotten how to do…like really feeling…like a lost language. We knew it when the world began, and in this life when we were first born. And once we are more and more surrounded by it, we will remember how to speak it again.

It’s the language of the heart, yes. It is also the same language of the body. That’s the most important thing we have forgotten (since it was actually systematically wiped out so those with the biggest love-voids could temporarily overpower everyone else)…that the voice of the heart and the body are one. That spiritual and physical are one. That holy and sexual are one. That the senses are the gateway to all knowing, just as much as anything like a chakra or third eye or vision is, and even more so. When we have the true vision of the body again, there will be nothing that we can’t do. Hello Sexy, and welcome back.

(Okay I just can’t help it…I’m not even listening to that particular song but it looks like it’s not just Justin Timberlake bringing sexy back!) So, what do you think Gorgeous…wanna help me bring sexy back?

Because we once all knew just how much the sexual was sacred. It was the cornerstone of our reverence and our celebration. It was the glue of all life and connectedness. It was the symbol and the embodiment of pure love. We weren’t confused about it at all. We knew right where home was, whether shared with others or just on our own. Whether we used our hands or felt it all while walking in the woods. It was just right there.

It’s time for the body to feel like home again. It is where everything will finally come together and all that didn’t match up will finally align. The disjointed places in life will suddenly run smooth and those answers you’ve always looked for will just flow in like water. It’s where the missing joy emerges. And then, even in the hard times, it carries you like a sail through strange waters, and holds space with you like a candle in the heavy darkness. You…bright flame…I am talking to you. You who might have given up on things ever really being like you dreamed they would or could. You who almost gave up reinventing yourself, or trying to read the cloudy compass of your desires. You who is going to remember the way by starlight.

I wouldn’t try to do anything right now. See if you can just give yourself the space to breathe and be. To sit, or move, but not have the perfect plan. Just an open hand, or two, and your gaze on the stars.

I love you.

Love, Jennifer


her post on December 9th is also priceless:
http://www.jenniferposada.com/writings

I am continuing to read her posts and found this one about 2012 also very valuable. It has two parts. I highly recommend these posts:

http://www.jenniferposada.com/the-new-world-soul-2012-an-oracles-prophecy

The second part has five specific tools to support this level of transforamtion.
http://www.jenniferposada.com/true-embodiment-on-not-ascending-in-2012-an-oracles-prophecy

Joyful Christmas

Beloveds,

May this day bring you so many expressions of love and fill you with joy. May you know your innate worthiness. May you realize what a masterpiece you are! May you recognize your own courage this historic year of 2012 as you have freed yourself from the dross of egoo, liberating frightened parts of your personality. May you experience unity and intimacy. Most of all, may you know absolutely that you are lovable, loving and loved! Dearest blog family, I send you all my tenderest and heartfelt love!

rage, hatred, trust and a global hug

On December 21st and again yesterday I experienced hatred and rage. Both times were only for a few minutes yet they were quite a shock. Whoa, so not what I thought 12/21 would bring. It has taken me awhile to sort through what is happening and to move back into trust. Here’s what I realized. We have been infused with buckets full of light. Light energy always pushes up what does not alining with it’s pure frequencies. Absolutely unbeknownst to me, I still carried rage and hatred. This has been an unpleasant shocker. Yet these energies are purging me of anything that is not love, just as I have intended and yearned. I have not yet uncovered the source of this rage yet I know it is some mistaken perception/ belief fuels that feeling of hatred. The scariest part is I felt no regret. I felt justified in my anger. I did not act it out, I did not express it externally. Yet internally I felt so right, so appropriate in my inner reaction. Scary. Yet I found my friend had the same experience and so this must be the energies du jour. O.K. I have decided to trust and call it good and very good. I realize I must have a deeply ingrained false belief that is able to allow me to be so angry without feeling regret. I am thrilled that I did not feel compelled to act it out in any way. I am curious what healing process is unfolding. I must admit I was relieved when it passed and I was able to reconnect to my commitment to love and unity. I am still dumfound that clearly my intent is not yet totally pure. Some part of me is hanging on for dear life to being separate, to being right. The witness in me was very alive in both instances, watching without judging. I allow this too. I am clueless what to do with it.Thank God I no longer have the idiotic idea that I can control my own healing process. I leave that to better forces that can see more clearly. I am very curious to see how this unfolds. Those feelings are far away now, again receded to distant shores. I hope that was the last wave of them yet time will reveal if they are done. I have received so many loving message and calls today yet feel strangely indifferent. It makes no sense to me yet I must allow this too.In the meantime I say yes, knowing I can surrender to the forces directing my healing, you healing, our healing. These are the same energies that direct the entire Universe so I guess I can trust they can handle my remembering.Somehow it must be necessary for these remnants of duality to surface for healing.

In this moment the sun is beaming. I feel calm and peaceful. I sit on my deck in my pajamas and robe in silence, grateful for time to recenter and recommit to my remembrance of love. Despite what showed up in the last days, this is my deepest yearning. I send you all so many blessings and oodles of love for this holiday season and always. A huge global hug!!!!!

more ascension musings and mini miracles

O.K. now that I think about it I think the word itself is off track. I don't know about you but for me the word "ascension" makes me think of lift off, going somewhere, rising. I deeply appreciate how much great information I have received since I first learned about and began following ascension post. Yet I now think I also led myself astray. For me the better word is awakening, as from a dream. That fits for me.
There was one set of post I occasionally followed as I received some good information yet I often found it too far out. They are the ones who, from my point of view, are hung up on what they call disclosure. Disclosure is the idea that we are visited by beings from other galaxies and the government knows and isn't telling us. So they are waiting for the secret to be revealed. Could be. Who knows? I wouldn't be surprised. Yet they were hanging their hats on this and keep bumming when it doesn't happen. Now for me that is a bit silly yet I realize I was doing something a bit similar waiting for something outside of me to wake me up. Yes, I know definitely that unseen guides are nudging me, prodding me, tickling me. Yet on 12/21 I semi unconsciously expected a few trumpet blares and a harp or two to push me more or less awake. My mistaken belief was that I was asleep and needed something beyond me to wake me up. Asleep yes, needing help yes, anyone can finally do it for me, no.
The fact is I need only one thing here, to remember. What does that mean? It is a question of believing a false identity, that I am limited, that I an be separate from love, that I am alone. All not true yet I buy it again and again albeit in ever more subtle ways. I have healed most of the blaring instances of separation yet still believe more subtle version of the basic lie. So it is is a question of a shift of perception, of awareness, of knowing. It isn't a location to get to, it is an inner truth that has not yet been fully realized. The glimpses are so tantalizing I know I must proceed.
I believe a rebirth has ocured. Yet, as others are writing, I sense we are in a void space, not here nor there. I remember right after my daughter was born. I loved her beyond anything I had ever known yet I was adjusting to major changes in my lifestyle and there were moments of exhaustion where I knew despair and doubt. Although I had not given physical birth, the adjustment period was choppy initially. My sense is that is what is occurring here. We don't have a physical baby to coo over so it is even more subtle and requires much greater faith to believe anything significant has transpired. I remember thinking 11/11/11 was a bust until I witnessed the faint changes blossoming into huge shifts. It took me awhile to recognize.
Seeing some people disappointment about not lifting somewhere new or having alien spacecraft revealed helped me wake up to my equally off base assumptions. Perhaps it is no coincidence that I have been sleeping very soundly and long most nights. The wake up is more gradual than I would have preferred so maybe I'll just go take a nap. 

BINGO: synchronicity alert

I just finished writing the above and went to check email and found this blog from, Jayem, scribe for the Way of Mastery. 

http://wayofmastery.com/jayem/blog/index.1.html   (have to click two links to reach it)
He quotes chapter 5 of the Way of the Heart section of the book, the very same section I opened to this morning with my questions about what ascension is and is not. I felt a lifting as I had read how desire, intention, surrender and allowing are the keys to the kingdom and bring us home. I felt clarity begin to emerge. Then to see Jayem's post an hour or so later on the same material was a huge ahha moment, as Oprah would say. I felt a literally recognition of BINGO!! I am right on target. A wave of some dross lifted off of me. Ah, yes, unseen guides always clearing the way for us. I feel called to share some other mini miracles that show me how easy the path is when we truly surender and get out of the way.

- My coach tells me to eat red meat occasionally and a day later I receive a large package of frozen meat for the previous owner of this house. I call the company to return it and they tell me to keep it as they can not take perishables back!
- I am flipping myself out trying to resolve a major challenge with my car that was very damaged in a storm. I surrender the drama and an hour later two people hand me a solution.
- I am trying to make a decision to spend money for something very symbolic and meaningful to me but pricey and feels a bit out of reach and I find a forgotten check on my bedside table. I share with  a friend how spending that amount of money would be such a leap of faith and I then read a blog with the words leap of faith in them. I literally never remember reading those words in print before.
- Several plans go kafluey and I start to get bent out of shape but finally surrender. They later turn out much better than I had initially planned.
- I think to myself I'd like another joy mug and the next day at water aerobics my teacher decides to have us race across the pool and give a prize to the winner, me, a mug with joy written on it.
You get the picture. Surrender use to be a dirty word for me. Now it is the answer to my prayers.

did we miss the boat? what is ascension?

A quick note:

I am reading how many are experiencing disappointment. When I read certain blogs it seems almost tragically funny to see what some people expected from this ascension expectation of 12/21. Yes, I too got caught in expectations and thus disappointments when I know intellectually there is no where to go and nothing to do simply something to remember. When I REMEMBER it is all so clear and I have no questions, concerns, doubt. The whole deal is just to remember Who we are, our I AM presences. Yes, I forget over and over, yes, I thought I was going to get some rocket divinely inspired jet fuel in the memory department yesterday and so yes, I did have to allow my mild disappointment. But to think it is a hoax, to make demand from someone or something outside of ourselves, outside of our own identities, well I must go on record as saying that feels way off track to me. It is clear things are shifting, that the Light is growing, that the energy is on the move. I have no complaints or doubt. The game plan was a bit different than I thought yet makes better sense. I know we are all already getting tons of support and things are moving at hyper sonic speed while appearing sometimes to crawl.
I had a very ordinary day today with little burst of connection and giggles, laughter and fun. I wouldn't call it ascension but I would call it good and very, very good. So I will continue to trust the powers that be to guide me to my own awakening, us to our own awakenings all in good time, my dears.

Positive outlook on what has occurred.

http://aquariuschannelings.com/2012/12/24/the-celestial-team-via-judith-dagley-12-22-12-yesyou-are-crossing-keep-going-beloved/